Can hocd make me feel like I’m just doing this because of religious and what other ppl might think of me or what society might think? I read that this is only in denial but ocd also does this to me☹️. I don’t wanna be gay and the idea of sleeping w another guy is not appealing to me even tho now I don’t show a reaction because I don’t wanna feed the ocd. It now makes me think I’m in denial 😓☹️. Someone help?
Maybe it its maybe its not
@Anonymous Has this happened to u tho? Can I get some answers
You are reacting. Reassurance seeking is a reaction, it’s just a sneaky one. You’re still giving the thoughts power by putting this much thought into them
@ThatAnonymous Yeah but it jus done me head in. I can’t do this anymore
You gotta accept the uncertainty. Maybe that is the reason you’re feeling this?🤷🏾♂️
@Mr. Solo Dolo I don’t wanna be gay I don’t want to. I hate this so much. I’ve been told I have ocd and I was doing maybe maybe not but it wasn’t helping. I can’t do it anymore. I wanna live my life w a wife and kids
Also, you say you don’t wanna feed ocd. However, this post is feeding ocd. Telling yourself you hate this, you don’t want to be gay, etc. This is what ocd wants. You don’t have to say you want it, but don’t tell yourself you don’t want it or say it’s uncomfortable. Just sit with the uncertainty that it might be true (even though it most likely isn’t)
@Mr. Solo Dolo Yh but the discomfort is real now. Even if I think of being straight it brings discomfort, it’s like it changed my identity. It’s the shittedt
@Anonymo12 Its all ocd and anxiety bro, I went through all the shit you’re telling me bro. You gotta trust the process. Whenever these thoughts make you anxious, respond with uncertainty. And don’t do compulsions. Just sit in the anxiety and don’t ruminate, and the anxiety will go away.
@Mr. Solo Dolo Oh my god that is a relief😭. I thought only I was going through the discomfort of calling myself straight and thinking sbt girls. It causes so much discomfort even tho ik I’m attracted to that. Ty.
@Anonymo12 You got this bro. So don’t post about how much you hate this anymore. Sit with the uncertainty bro, you’ll get through this.
@Mr. Solo Dolo Thank u bro ima stop posting thank u.
@Mr. Solo Dolo Bro i have a question for you why don’t we want this to be true like i lost the ehy i don’t want ot
@Anonymous For me it’s my morals, my girlfriend, and I jus simply don’t want it for religious reasons and that I acc jus ain’t that that’s why for me
@Anonymo12 That’s fine. But I’m just tryna show you the way to conquer this. Again, it’s not you agreeing or believing the unwanted thought. You’re just accepting uncertainty. That doesn’t mean you enjoy it or are for it. Uncertainty doesn’t mean the thoughts are true. It’s just means they might or might not. Soon enough you’ll go back to normal and your true desires will block these thoughts out.
@Mr. Solo Dolo Especially with my sex drive gone, no attractions to girls, and then all this discomfort. Some days are fine but last 3-4 days been long for me. I hate it
@Mr. Solo Dolo My problem is I don’t know my morals anymore or what I want hut im pretty sure I want to be straight
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
I feel like I'm lying to myself, like I just don't accept that I'm gay, I don't want to be gay, I don't want to feel any kind of attraction anymore, I want to go to a psychologist to find out if I really have hocd or if it's just an excuse, because it feels like I really am gay, but nothing was authentic, it all started with thoughts that made me panic extremely hard and I felt like crying and I had delusions, I don't understand why this is happening to me, I didn't like any boys before the thoughts appeared, but exactly one day after they appeared, all the boys were attractive, of all ages, I want to recover :( I'm only 17 years old, for about 2 months I've been having thoughts, I don't know what to do, I can't go to a psychologist, I need help :(
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