Vent ig

I wanted to handle it myself but i just can't do it. I need to get this off from me. First of all, Im really struggling. These days, I can never, ever pray. I feel like I'm moving away from God. I'm afraid of leaving religion and becoming a bad person. I doubt that God will put me on a bad path and punish me for not being able to worship. Religious people always say, "Who does not worship moves away from religion and becomes a bad person." Why am I being punished for something I have no control over? I feel like God hates me, God is cruel, selfish these days.. I want to worship. But I can't. I really want to do my religious duties but my body just doesn't does it. I truly want to do it but i don't, i can't. And i don't even know why.. im crying, i really feel so helpless. Im always feeling scared when im about to pray to God about me, my partner and other things. (I also have relationship ocd) "what if i get triggerred when i pray? What if i can't focus when i pray? What if i don't feel anything when i pray? What about the 'God does not allow a prayer that He won't accept.' sentence you see?" I want to get closer to God, I'm afraid of getting away from him. But I just can't do it. What's wrong with me..? I just feel so hopeless. I have doubts over my religion.. i can't trust God like i used it to.. i ask God to help me for weeks but i just feel worse.. what can i do?? I want to know God correctly. I want to get closer to him. I want to trust him. By the way i'm Muslim, but i accept the advice even if you believe in another religion. Thank you.

Religion & Spirituality OCD

ElevenB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@walkingocd. Religious OCD is torture. I'm christian but I've felt abandoned by Him more times than I can count. I keep my prayers very simple these days. A little worship and then ask Him to touch me, and others dealing with OCD. I pray for family and friends. Sometimes I write my prayers down. I have some scriptures I read everyday. From March to June I was unable to do anything for the Lord due to depression and anxiety but I have slowly begun to do things like text people, send cards, just encourage others a little, go to church. Though it feels like you have to keep asking God for help He heard you the first time. And silence doesn't mean absence. Our relationship with God is by faith not by feelings. I know it's hard because we want to feel but sometimes we just don't. I do ERP which is excruciating but I believe it will help in the long run. Like Steven55 said do the free 15 minute call to NOCD and see what they say. 🫂

walkingocd

Date posted: 1y

Thank you. I can't even keep my prayers short and simple, because if i do, i feel like it won't going to be accepted. Im trying my best. And i can't take a therapist call, online or in real life. That's because of my family, unfortunately.. but thank you again

Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

I'm sorry you're having this episode. Religious/scrupulosity OCD can be awful. Why don't you contact NOCD and request a free consultation. They have trained OCD therapists who handle this type of OCD. It's worth a try. God bless.

ElevenB

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

If you're trying your best that's all you can do. In the bible when the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray. He gave them the Lord's prayer. Short and simple. I wish you all the best!

walkingocd

Date posted: 1y

Im not Christian but thank you. In my religion, if a person has a problem, it is normal to simplify, shorten or temporarily leave and rest their worship. But I still feel bad.

rane75

Date posted: 24w

Ramadan

If any Muslims with OCD come across this, i would like advice. Other people are also fine to give advice too. Anyway i am not a Muslim but most of my friend group is Muslim. I never grew up religious my dad was an ex catholic but still had religious views ingrained into his brain and when i would go to say good night to him he would say things like “God Bless you have good dreams” plus he was always drunk so it would be way more emotional and in depth. Anyway that transcended into me as a child praying to god everytime i was in the bath even though i didn’t believe in him it was “just in case”, which i know now was my OCD. Ok back to the point sorry it is long but I told my best friend who is a Muslim that i’ve been thinking about converting which was true, and i’ve been thinking about it for about two years. Today is the first day of Ramadan and i told two of my friends that i would be fasting for the month because most of my friends are and also the fact i’m interested in Islam. I woke up at 4am today, ate enough food to be full by the sunrise, then i fasted until 2:12pm when i did a horrible thing and broke my fast. I was so tempted and i know it was wrong and i have to do something good to fix it. But i started feeling like all of this, everything i think about Islam, it’s all just my OCD, and i have a strong feeling about this. I pray to Allah in my head, learned some arabic, read part of the Quran, and i tried to fast but i know i wont be able to resist my temptation even though that is the whole point of Ramadan. I know in my heart i don’t have real religious beliefs and that all of my thoughts about Islam are intrusive. How do i stop my thoughts and how do i tell my friend that i am probably not going to convert because it is not right for me? She will be understanding but i will feel like i mislead her and also i will feel a little more uncomfortable around my friends because i know i have decided that i don’t believe in Allah or want to convert. Please don’t tell me to convert because it will influence me immediately and although i love the religion i know it is not what i believe in or want with my life. Please help i am sorry this is so long

Religion & Spirituality OCD

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