Maybe a small flare up

I’m 32. At the time I was 15 in my English class and we were talking about how Anne Frank was allegedly a lesbian. A straight up BOMB went off in my head and I had my first panic attack and went completely in my head. “WHAT IF IM A LESBIAN?!” I was sweating and wanted to cry. To this day I have no idea why it happened. Was certainly not the first time talking about anything LGBTQIA+. But OCD wasn’t really a spoken about topic at that time so for a solid 7 years I was in my head with revolving themes. I’ll never forget that moment bc I’ve not been the same since.

Sometimes I feel like I’m cured and here and there I’ll doubt myself but July was when I went full force into this subset

I remember the famous “before and after” moment, it undoubtedly marked my life to this day.

My one professor is also a counselor, and he tells our class that we are just observers of our thoughts and they are not parts of us. It’s beautiful

Yeh, I used to say I wish I could go back to that moment to change it, but now it’s gone so bad I say to myself I wish I could go back just even 1 week in time to make it at least a little better😅

I remember the first panic attacks I had in college my freshman year bc of my intrusive thoughts. I didn’t understand why they were happening and I wanted to know why so bad

I remember the exact moment as well. Looking back I think when I was younger I experienced small amounts of OCD but I remember “the day my brain broke”. I think I even remember what I was wearing LOL

Thank you all for sharing and being vulnerable. It’s so wild how sometimes it’s like a damn breaks out of nowhere and you get flooded. I despise how ocd will try to make you recount earlier times and taint them, so you think your theme was true and always has been

Not really because I was 4 years old doing compulsions and my mom caught me.

She’s a therapist and it was more stereotypical physical checkings, so kinda obvious to her personally 😆

I remember the exact moment.

I would say I am doing better. But there are a lot of folks doing much better than I am