I know this is going to sound horrible but sometimes I think one or both of my bf’s brothers are better looking than him and recently I don’t feel that guilty about it. I have been having intrusive thoughts about one of them but not a lot of guilt and I feel bad now for not having guilt. And sometimes when I don’t think my bf is looking good I have really mean thoughts about his appearance
You’re having ocd about not having ocd, ik lots of people will tell you it’s so bad to think others are attractive, and you don’t love your partner if you do but you’re on this app for a reason, you posted this for a reason, you posted this because you do feel guilty due to the ocd and that is ok. I’m so sorry you are going through this, I’m quite similar, I thought someone looked attractive at my school and I’ve been feeling so awful, crying everyday and talking to so many people about it who’ve said there’s no need to worry. You love your bf and tbh the reason why you probably think his brothers look attractive is because you find things in his brothers attractive that relate to what you find attractive in your bf. It’s a normal human emotion to find people attractive and there’s nothing wrong with it, I’m gradually getting used to that idea and forgiving myself. It’s hard, it’s really hard and I understand the thoughts of your bf looking unattractive, because that’s another symptom of ROCD, everything you’re suffering with rn is ROCD, you’re not a bad person, but promise me if it gets worse and harder to live with please make a call with one of the therapists on this wonderful app, I believe in you, remember you’re a good person, you’re on this app because you love your partner, I wish you all the best Xx
@EmilyRae2 Thank you so much, and I want you to know too that it’s okay, I find random people attractive all the time and it used to cause me way more anxiety but it’s getting better for me too. I just thought this one was extra taboo especially because I think it’s partly just my genuine non-ocd opinion but it’s not like I’m doing anything malicious. Again thank you and I’m glad it’s getting better for you, I wish you and your partner the best too
Thankyou so much :)
Thankyou :) I get worried all the time that I’ll find others attractive, it’s the biggest part of my ROCD a compulsion would be to point out bad parts of the person I find attractive and I’ll be ok but the person I found attractive I didn’t really find anything and that’s what stressed me out sm, I told so many people and they all said it’s completely normal but my ocd just can’t let it go, I don’t want anything to do with that man I just want to forget the person but it’s hard when I go to the same college as him. I’ve had moments where not responding to compulsions worked and it felt great but they came back and it’s so upsetting I just wish for them to go away forever. :)
@EmilyRae2 I don’t think I actually have any compulsions that I can think of when I find people attractive besides sometimes confessing sometimes but I know what you mean, I’m in college too and if you have a class with someone or see them in the hall a lot then it’s hard to avoid even though that would also be a compulsion. It is very normal to find people attractive and it’s okay to, you can’t even control it so you can’t possibly be blamed for it!
Do our minds imagine someone to look more attractive than they actually are in real life? I get aroused when I get images of this one guy and it feels like I really want to have sex with him but at the same time I try to push it away. I feel like there’s a part of me that is curious and wanting to explore, but I have a boyfriend and I love him and I only want him.
I sometimes come back to this particular feeling and thought. So when I first met my partner I wasn’t immediately attracted to him. I don’t think I thought he was ugly by any means. I met him at work along with another new go worker and I thought the other co worker was cuter than my current partner. That alone fills me with guilt but what’s even WORSE was that I told a friend “Oh man I wish that guy was in our group instead of the other.” Something like that. I feel so much freaking guilt over that comment. I adore my partner and this always fills me with shame. I think my partner is the most beautiful man in the world and I kick myself that that was my first thought or worlds about him. I don’t know what to do. I want to confess but how do you even say that to your partner? I just feel so guilty and awful inside….
Judgy thoughts. I constantly have thoughts criticizing my boyfriend. Some of these are based on insecurities like our height difference, him being shorter than me. It just feels like I always have these negative thoughts and feelings and I always feel like I need to tell my boyfriend. I **know** they’re hurtful but I feel like I’m being dishonest or something if I don’t say something. Why do I constantly want to point out his shortness or if he has a smell that may not be too pleasant (completely human, nothing foul). Why can’t I ever keep it to myself. I used to be able to because I think the normal thing is to notice and move on. I don’t understand why I just can’t or why these thoughts are so persistent. Like I’m constant looking for a flaw. It’s so draining and I can’t imagine how exhausting it is for him apart from confusing and hurtful :( I love him
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