- Date posted
- 1y
ocd
i’ve been struggling with overthinking and overwhelming thoughts for a minute now , about a year and a few months ago i was doing decent in my relationship with God still struggling in indulging in things I wasn’t supposed to but I eventually started to get closer. Ever since I professed my belief i’ve always had that thought “ i need to do this “ and of course as believers we have responsibility but this was something that would eat me up. Say I missed a day with reading my bible it’s like i would go crazy. I’m a senior in Highschool but I really began overthinking bad in the summer of sophomore year I was so scared I wasn’t saved so I would be stressed out , saying different prayers , professing my faith in God over and over but it wasn’t for that beneficial reason… I was scared. So at the beginning of my junior year I had a thought to spread the gospel on my campus but the campus im on has college students so I was at a university. This is where everything went down for me I had just finished a different work ( from which I think was God ) then this one appears in my mind. I was truly scared , growing up I had a fear of man so this wasn’t in my comfort zone but I still wanted to accomplish it. When the time came to do it I would back out every time and get more and more discouraged literally and my faith was there most times , most times i trusted in myself and sometimes I just couldn’t do it. I texted many brothers and sisters in Christ about this but i feel like there was more to be done , one gave me an idea but i asked for some tasks to get to the point of that task which was evangelizing or preaching on campus but the task weren’t so small to me. So the more I didn’t do this other thing more things would come into my mind and then came more fear , anxiety , overthinking etc. Talking about it right now still confuses me because I always get works ( works or responsibilities of believers) but it’s like God is throwing them all at me. I sadly had a classmate pass in March and it upset me but it’s like I couldn’t even mourn the first thing that popped into my mind was “ do this “ and my thing is a lot of the things i’m being told to do sounds like God or something he would tell one to do and that summarizes it really idk if i’m just disobedient in general or if i’m misunderstanding everything I didn’t even read as much once all this began I don’t feel as if I have that true relationship with God anymore but like I said Maybe my obedience put me here. Please respond with any advice or if you relate.