Anyone have any good tips for resisting the urge to ruminate? My compulsions are mainly reassurance seeking and ruminating and while I can resist the compulsion to check something on my phone, it’s really hard to resist ruminating, because ultimately, the ruminating is just thinking thoughts, which we all know we can’t control.

I cannot for the life of me stop ruminating or checking how I feel about thoughts or focusing on thoughts or creating more thoughts. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I want to scream. I try not to ruminate about the thoughts, but trying not to just makes me think about them more. I try not to check, but somehow, I still check. I want to let a thought sit in the background, but the more I try not to focus on it, the more I end up focusing on it. I don’t want the thought to expand because that feels like engaging with it, but I can’t just stop it from expanding. It feels impossible. People keep saying I’m in control of my compulsions, and maybe that’s true for the physical ones. But when it comes to the mental compulsions, I swear I have no control. It feels like I’m missing something that everyone else seems to have, like there’s some tool they’re using that I don’t have. Controlling mental compulsions has never felt possible for me. I’m starting to fear them. And every time someone says I’m in control and can just choose not to do them, I end up beating myself up even more when they happen. Or when I *choose* I guess. I don’t know anymore. If this is my fault, if I’m responsible for this, then what does that make me? I feel like a monster. I am at my wits’ end. How am I supposed to control mental compulsions when it feels like they control me? I freak out when they happen. They don’t bring me relief, they just make me panic. I want it to stop so bad.

What's a piece of advice you give when someone has constantly intrusive thoughts and ruminations that won't stop? Interested to see what you tell others.....more on this when I see some replies!!!

I thankfully conquered harm ocd but I’m going through a flare up with relationship OCD, which I never got over. I know how bad reassurance seeking is but I can’t seem to quit. I ask my mom the same question countless times and it never helps. I feel bad because she tries to help and prevent me from seeking reassurance but I drive her crazy because I keep asking anyways. And if I don’t ask her, I reassure myself in my head. How are we supposed to resist these compulsions fully if we’re so scared? It feels as if I’ll never be confident enough to trust my own beliefs, even when I recover in the future with ERP