Feeling

Wanted to hop on and suggest checking out Mark DeJesus, he talks about exactly this concept in many of his OCD resources! I have learned so much from his podcasts and I have a long way to go but he has made a difference in my life.

Sorry one more thing!!! Please know that your Father in Heaven doesn't just LOVE you, He ADORES you. He is SO PROUD of you. He is ROOTING for you. If you're struggling to feel that He is, it's OKAY!!! We're separated from Him by an earthly veil, and that's why it's so difficult but important to have faith. I hope that wasn't too much, haha! You are so strong, you are. I hope you're doing okay and that you can feel the love of good people around you, and God above. ❤️

Dr.James Dobson once said this “a child’s first concept of God will come from the relationship they have with their father.” So it’s normal you feel that way as a result of being left by your dad. I have that same situation too. I feel like God loves everyone else in the world except me, even murderers and other criminals who hurt people more than me. God does love you. I like to believe He does and I think the goodness of humanity if proof of his goodness (these are just my beliefs so to anyone else besides op who might be reading this please don’t think I’m trying to deem my beliefs are true or superior to others) that is still here on earth.

Wow. Thank you so much for sharing what you're thinking and feeling, about your dad and about God. That is really, really perceptive. It's really cool that you are able to see the connection between your relationship with your dad and how it's likely impacted your view of God as a father figure. What you're saying makes perfect sense! I bet you're right about how one thing impacts another. I am so, so sorry you have to deal with the emotional burden of not having a dad in your life. But it's awesome at least that, despite what you've had to go through, despite how your father abandoned you, you still WANT to believe that God loves you. Having and building faith in God can be so, so hard to do. But, if you so much as WANT to believe, that's the perfect place to start, and God can work with that.

I don't know if that was helpful for your situation, but thanks so much for sharing what you're feeling. I'm so sorry you're struggling with doubt and sexual thoughts. If you don't mind me asking, are the sexual thoughts intrusive obsessions, or just normal kinds of sexual thoughts? Regardless, scrupulosity is the WORST. I struggle with it, too.

@Liam45. That's what I was going to say. I heard someone say that parents are the first example of how we will view God.