Anyone else?

But personally I feel like the verses they usually use to try to disprove my fears aren't helping, and they don't discount the other verses that make me sad. And I feel like there is some dual meaning to this topic, because even though people will admit that the Israelites are special in some ways, they won't agree with me or admit it to me when I'm feeling down about it, and it makes me feel alone. And I've tried saying maybe I'm wrong, but then whenever I go to the Bible, I still find verses all over that make me feel the same. So I don't know that we are exactly the same in this, or have the same understanding. But let me know what you think

@Anonymous Scriptural concerns can be VERY discouraging! Personally I would try to talk to your pastor about it. After setting the record straight once for you and clarifying the correct theology, you can chalk the rest up to OCD doubt and wanting certainty. I 100% get the frustration over scriptural concerns like this and feeling really down about what it might mean

@Madison the ERP Ninja I did talk to my pastor about it. And my family, and my aunt, and my therapist, and way too many other people. Still feel the same. That's sorta what the second part of my post was about. In the end, I'm still sad about the fact of "first to the Jew", I'm still sad that they're the natural branches whereas I'm unnatural (Romans 11). Still sad that the kingdom was theirs until they rejected Him, and that He still has a special place in His heart for them to return to Him in the end. I had a few times where I felt better, but then saw that some pieces of what I'm sad about still seem theologically sound -- and the things I'm sad about might not be the things you think I am, because I'm aware a lot of this stuff has dual meanings. And I guess that stuff like natural belonging means more to me than to everyone else. And I'll be honest, whenever I would talk to people about me being sad about this, they'd always get defensive about it and try to make me feel better and disprove my worries. But when I went anonymous and talked about this as a person inquiring information to see how I should help a Jewish friend who felt that the opposite was true (that God loved Gentiles more than Jews), I got a much different response, and was met with less disagreement and more agreement with the concepts I would otherwise say I was the one struggling with. Of course they still would say that Gentiles were still loved you know, and I'm not arguing with that.

@Anonymous I definitely would say that this is rumination. OCD is endless. There are no real answers. And God knows that. He is here to help you. I believe the less you try to figure this out, the less this concern will bother you. The less you engage, the better you will feel long-term.

@Madison the ERP Ninja Okay. For your sake, I'm glad it seems you haven't felt quite the way I feel -- not to discredit or invalidate the way you DID feel, which I know wasn't good and I do understand how you felt -- but for my sake I wish God gave me someone to lean on at my biggest time of need. Thanks for talking

@Anonymous I hope I was able to help at least a little, but I’m sorry I couldn’t help more! ❤️