ROCD is terrible

Please forgive me in advance. I do not want to offend anyone on this platform so if I'm not politically correct, I am sorry. My bf of almost 2 years comes from a lower economic status than I did growing up. His father has intellectual disabilities from childhood trauma and abuse. His nieces and nephews have some disabilities as well. My bf and I have talked about marriage in the future. My OCD makes me focus on the possibility that if we marry, we may have a child with disabilities because of it running in the family. I know I sound judgemental and that does bother me. I know I'm not perfect so I shouldn't seek perfection in others or judge ppl but it worries me. I look for things wrong in my bf too, worrying that maybe I missed something and maybe he has something I didn't notice. It sounds ridiculous as I write this. Am I alone in this issue?

Relationship OCD

Username: Ridethewave Ridethewave

Date posted: 1y ago

It’s totally valid to have those types of concerns it’s just ocd makes us get caught up in them.

Username: Richardelliot93Richardelliot93

Date posted: 1y ago

I don't believe you're a bad person for being concerned for the safety of your future children. I have multiple mental disabilities that I've decided I will not be having children for that very reason. But one thing you need to understand is a disability is not the end of the world. I feel like our society frames disabilities as this horrible thing that you don't want. A person with a disability just happens to be a person with the health problem, they're no different than a person without a health problem. At the end of the day we're just people. I understand it's your OCD that's causing you to think this way, so don't dog on yourself too much. The best advice I can give is communicate with your boyfriend how you're feeling, I'm guessing since you've been together a couple of years he probably knows about your OCD. Also if you haven't already, I would highly recommend some kind of therapy because while I personally don't see you as a bad person, because I completely understand that this has to do with your OCD, sadly more judgmental people might not see it that way. I wish you the best of luck.

Username: Sunshine&flowers7Sunshine&flo...

Date posted: 1y ago

You are absolutely right. People with disabilities are people and should not be defined by their disability. People are so much more than their disability. Thank you for reminding me of that.

Username: JenniesOCDBrainJenniesOCDBrain

Date posted: 1y ago

hey there, i totally get where you're coming from. it's rough when your brain latches onto these thoughts, especially about something as personal as family and future kids. just know you're not alone in this struggle. i've got my own tangle with pure o, different obsessions, but that relentless loop is something i'm way too familiar with. it's tough, but i'm here to listen if you ever need to vent or just chat about what's going on in your head. also, i've been trying out this free AI tool for OCD that's been surprisingly helpful. when things get too intense, i just type in what's bugging me, and it guides me through the process, kinda like what a real OCD therapist would do with ERP. it's not a cure-all, but it does offer some solid support when i'm feeling stuck. might be worth checking out for your situation too. if you're curious or have any questions about it, feel free to hit me up. take care 🌟

Username: GoneHiking

Date posted: 3y ago

Struggling with a moral dilemma - I really want to have kids eventually, but I also have OCD. Even though my experience of the condition has been mild, I still wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, and I would feel really bad if a child inherited it from me. I think this might be reassurance-seeking, but I can't tell. If it is, I'm sorry.

Username: Isabella G.

Date posted: 1y ago

I really need someone to talk to…

I am scared. I love my fiancé. I love everything about him with my heart and soul. I just feel so empty. I have ROCD if you haven’t noticed lol. I keep going in cycles and phases where I feel ok with my past trauma regarding my ex partner, and feeling like maybe the trauma is still there. If you’re asking now at this point if there’s any feelings involved- no. I don’t feel romantic feelings of the sort. But, I am so scared. I am scared to see this person in public, so I don’t go out. I am scared to think about this person because what if I am thinking about them because I want them? It’s triggering, and I always make sure to not ruminate. But, as I meditate and I do ERP, I find myself feeling more lost and more susceptible to the pain of it. The trauma does not pain me anymore, it’s the thought that I might never be able to give my fiancé the life he wants. So, now I have to contemplate giving up a future that I have thought about. Waiting to make the engagement public to my family, for absolutely nothing. I love this person, they have been pure and honest and open. I am young, still. What if I am just with the wrong person, and this isn’t the person for me? It’s all a facade and delusion the COUNTLESS times I have redirected my thoughts to just tell them “You’re wrong, I love this man.” As I sit here, on the verge of crying, I wonder…. Is it even OCD, or am I just a bad person for concealing the thoughts and not giving it direct attention? Most importantly, is the man I love the one for me? Or is it truly all a joke?

Username: Jen 💛

Date posted: 1y ago

ROCD? Advice needed

I continue to get distressing thoughts surrounding my love for my boyfriend and if we are going to work out and are meant to be together because he is of different religious beliefs, and I grew up hearing that doesn’t work in relationships. We have been together nearly two years. I know I love him, and he supports my beliefs and I support him, we have had conversations about it. but my brain goes through intense periods of hyper focusing on the anxiety surrounding it, making me feel like I am going to hurt him, or we are going to break up because of me and our differences. It’s very distressing and I ruminate a lot about him and try to calm myself down by thinking through the situation, a mental compulsion? I know worrying about your partner is normal but I feel like I hyper fixate on the compatability between us and me hurting him and I don’t know if it’s ROCD or if it means we aren’t compatible. It’s upsetting.

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ROCD is terrible

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