- Date posted
- 1y
not convinced i have false memories
i’m a healthy 20 year old female who is smart and athletic. i don’t have any brain diseases or anything. i must not have false memories. i am scared.
i’m a healthy 20 year old female who is smart and athletic. i don’t have any brain diseases or anything. i must not have false memories. i am scared.
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@Yasmin123456 Same here, even though my mind has latched on to a real memory minor and stupid and created into false scary and dangerous memory and on some days (yesterday and the day before) has convinced me that I’m dreaming or nothing is real (creating false parallel reality complete with visions and telling my family is lying to me) it was particularly bad yesterday
@Yasmin123456 I’m 22 next Thursday
@Yasmin123456 I had my distraction this morning (kind of) now I have another job interview (which already doesn’t help my anxiety levels but this one is complicated)
@Yasmin123456 At least my birthday is coming up I can distract myself with that, also trying to find work to help with distract me too
@Yasmin123456 I’m also trying to change my health to see if that helps improve my mind. Even though it was impossible the previous two days I’m trying to implement a sleep schedule (as I know I struggle with sleep which I contributes) as well as working on diet and exercise
@Yasmin123456 Yeah
@Yasmin123456 I have been told that a lot
@Yasmin123456 Was feeling like I was alone as I have emotionally distant parents who don’t take this stuff seriously but this community has been a big help wish I could get proper therapy
@Yasmin123456 I had stopped taking hormonal birth control (unintentionally cold turkey due a bout of mysterious illness that turned out to be food poisoning)as this was one biggest cause of my mental health issues ,as well as sleep,and started taking vitamins instead
@Yasmin123456 Did your parents yell or get mad when you would cry,that was mine
@Yasmin123456 Mine happened more when I was on it, still is happening whilst I’m off and while my hormones settle
@Yasmin123456 My parents act like you can only be a small child or baby to cry
@Yasmin123456 But yeah you’re right they do care
@Yasmin123456 Oh that’s ironic I have been taking serotonin supplements
@Yasminnn I live in the UK
@Yasminnn I also take a pre-menstrual supplement and similar one for sleep that contains a magnesium and other kinds of vitamins
@Yasminnn As well as the serotonin as I ween myself of birth control (this process is long and sometimes tough)
@Yasminnn Need to get back into walking, but can’t really do shopping as I’m not employed so it would be my parents money (which as I’m getting older they don’t always like me spending)
@Yasminnn I don’t have many friends but my best friend is great person to talk to as she also experiences mental health issues (also loverly that our birthdays are in a similar time frame) Wish I could get her on here too
@Yasminnn It’s very cold and gets dark earlier here at the moment (which also doesn’t help my mental health when I went to visit family in the states lot happier)
@Yasminnn Out of all of that walking would probably be the best option for me
@Yasminnn I felt like over thanksgiving (particularly on thanksgiving itself) I blacked out and was not in control and felt like I was in this dream like state
@Yasminnn Nothing felt real(not even simple conversation felt like a blur and was struggling to answer the simplest of questions)and my mind constantly telling me I’m dreaming it’s not real
@Yasminnn Sorry even the not not even
@Yasminnn It was horrible particularly on a day like thanksgiving where you are supposed to celebrating
@Yasminnn Felt like I couldn’t breathe
@Yasminnn Oh wow 😮
@Yasminnn I’m hoping that if I do what say there will be sense of relief and I can start thinking clearly again
@Yasminnn I get nervous twitches too, which are much prevalent when im excitable rather than nervous (even though they can occur when I’m nervous which more so when a certain parent of mine starts yelling and screaming like a toddler) which doesn’t help when your relatives praise you a lot or you are talking about topic you really enjoy
@Yasminnn When I looked online before it says it can take between 4 to 6 months for hormones to settle which I’m like great 🙄
@Yasminnn Glad it’s not just me, I like having people to talk to
any advice for when you get false memories that feel really real? especially something that had JUST happened, it’s like ur brain distorts it. i feel like i do something wrong 24/7 then i get over it and ocd latched onto something new
So. I was in a traumatic relationship. for a long time. it was filled with gaslighting, manipulation, abuse, cheating ect. I would OBSESS over finding out where they were, what they were doing, who they were talking too. but I couldn’t leave. I tried so hard but I never could. they would call me names, physically hurt me, throw things, break things. because I would question them all the time. but I just couldn’t leave. no matter what I knew. they would manipulate me. I fell for their childhood trauma. it’s like I lost all logic. but I also feel like I have a pretty good memory with memories. not all the way, but remembering a lot of the traumatic things. especially now that I’m no longer with them. I keep remembering things that’s happened. even from my childhood. one time way before I even started dating this person, I had an intrusive thought about a friend of mine. that was with me. and I freaked out. I thought I had acted on the intrusive thought the next day. I asked my friend for confirmation but they said nothing happened. but the memories about it feel SO REAL. so VIVID. but they swore that nothing happened and they had no idea what I was talking about. I’ve struggled with intrusive thoughts for my whole life. so fast forward to now, that ‘false memory’ from my friend randomly popped up and I started obsessing about it, and my childhood ‘memories’ that have popped up. and then I was reading an article of someone doing something horrible, and then it sounded ‘familiar’ and so then I’ve created this whole memory of me doing something similar to the article involving my partner doing it also. the memory keeps adding new things and conversations around it. when it involves an actual real memory. but it’s like it’s been twisted from what I remembered before. I also suffer from bad anxiety. I’ve stalked pictures. my search history to figure out what I was doing that say when the real event happened. and I’ve found some things but I can’t look through my texts because I got a new phone. it has been hounding me for months. MONTHS. trying to figure out if this new ‘memory’ is real or not. if it’s been fabricated by an intrusive thought from reading the article and thinking ‘what if’ or if it actually happened and because I’m no longer in this relationship it’s a ‘repressed memory’ but the thing is I have horrible horrible anxiety and I don’t think I could have gone this long knowingly that that happened without remembering it until now. because I remember a lot of the horrible things that they did. this ‘memory’ is fuzzy, but it brings me horrible anxiety when I think of it, like I feel like it happened. but I also feel like it didn’t happen. because I know I would never do anything like that. but WHAT IF I DID, because I was manipulated. idk. is this a false memory. I really need help. because it’s been debilitating. that relationship was really traumatic. and I got manipulated into a lot of things. but I wouldn’t have just went forward knowing that that happened??? there’s no way I could have just forgotten it. because before when I would think about that night it was different, until now. but what if I just made myself forget what truly happened?? I’m a pretty self aware individual, but somehow that relationship really REALLY put me into a trance somehow where I allowed things that I have no idea how I would even allow because before I met that person I would have never allowed someone to cheat on my constantly or talk to me the way they did. or allow abuse. like I don’t understand it.
Can it feel like you literally remember a false memory happening? And it feels like the memory has always been there and you vividly remember it happening that way? Because I don’t even know if I’m experiencing a false memory or not but god it feels so fucking real. Like I literally remember it happening. But what’s weird is the original memory was kind of different. 2 years later, the memory is not the same, but it feels like I literally remember it happening. And in this memory, I’m fucking snapping. I’m acting on my thoughts. I feel like a fucking psycho. I hope this is just OCD
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