Relationship OCD alongside relationship issues

My wife and I have been married for almost 6 years now and we have a 1 year old. Before we got married I had a breakdown and came to realize I have relationship ocd. The OCD has come and gone and come again. Sometimes about our relationships, sometimes other subjects. This past year has been incredibly hard. My step father passed from cancer and we were both close to him. We've also had a ton of unplanned for bills along with other issues. Typically we are okay but over the past year my wife has had blowups (she has her own issues that she is aware of and working on) in which she threatens divorce basically because she thinks we'd be better off without her (she has childhood trauma). This really affects me especially since my parents are divorced. My issue is, I think my OCD is attacking this now and our relationship again. I know these are issues we need to work on and work through, but my ocd(i think) keeps asking what if things don't get better, what if you do get divorced and so on. I dont know how to seperate the ocd from the real problems that we just need to work on. This is really difficult. I also just think I'm pretty depressed with all the stress this past year. What is sad is, probably 6 months ago I was thinking "wow my ocd seems gone". Ugh.

Relationship OCD

Formerlyanon...

Date posted: 1y

Have you thought of seeing a couple’s counselor?

Ocd3686

Date posted: 1y

Yep, we are in the process of finding one. I struggle with that too because I don't want to go and just get a bunch of reassurance from a counselor who doesn't have much experience with ocd, but yea we're going to start

Formerlyanon...

Date posted: 1y

@Ocd3686 Perhaps you could find a counselor that has basic understanding and respect for ocd. Best of luck!

Date posted: 19w

Struggling with ROCD

I’ve been really struggling with Relationship OCD since I got married, and 3 years later, I’m afraid I’ve lost the love of my life. Between the Relationship OCD, the Religious OCD, and the Sexuality OCD, she couldn’t handle it anymore. Now that she left, the fog of doubt has faded, and I’m realizing how much I truly loved her all along. I just don’t understand how our minds can play such sabotaging tricks on us. And why? I don’t know what to do. I hope and pray we eventually get back together, but I know I need help. I want to do whatever I can to return to a place where she can feel loved by me, the way she did before ROCD took over. Is anyone here going through something similar? Has anyone overcome ROCD? Were you able to repair your relationship? I’d really appreciate any insight or advice. Thank you.

ellij

Date posted: 16w

ROCD flare up

Lately my ROCD has been flaring up, making it difficult to even be around my partner. I’m having so many troubling thoughts with the one that bugs me most being, “maybe this isn’t my OCD, maybe I’m just in a bad relationship and I’m trying to cover it up and blame it on OCD”. This thought really scares me because there are valid doubts in my relationship but my boyfriend and I have openly talked about them and are trying to work through. My OCD won’t take that as an option tho. It makes me feel like I need to be 100% certain that these things can NEVER happen again or else we need to break up immediately. So anything he says in that moment about trying to do better, my OCD will not trust anything he says and just wait until the next “bad thing” happens. When I continuously bring these things up to my boyfriend even tho nothing has happened between these conversations, it exhausts him making it feel like he can never do enough. I feel so bad because I know it’s just my OCD getting in the way. But then that thought creeps in saying I can’t trust him because I need to protect myself. It’s just an ongoing cycle that is so tiring. I don’t even know what I want anymore. We are very opposite when it comes to emotions. I am very in tune and very emotionally intelligent, and he is not. He is the opposite. I do recognize that my anxious attachment style may be hard for him too but I can’t stop thinking about all of his flaws and all of the things he needs to do to make our relationship better. It makes me feel like I’m the only one putting in effort when in reality that is not true. But my OCD does make me feel like he doesn’t really love me or want to be with me and that he feels forced to be with me or do things for me. It makes me feel like him being with me is like a chore. Can anyone relate? My OCD just makes me feel like I can’t trust anything he says to make our relationship better.

Relationship OCD

Unstoppable ...

Date posted: 10w

Relationship OCD

Hi I'm new to all of this so I hope I'm doing this right. 5 years ago my 34 year marriage ended. My ex husband was a mentally and financially abusive, covert narcissist. All that is behind me now and I'm finally remembering who I am again. I'm in a relationship with a really great guy but the problem I'm having is relationship OCD. This has taken me by surprise really as I've had OCD from a very young age but never has it been about my relationship. I constantly check messages and go over and over conversations and convince myself my partner will eventually cheat. Almost every single person in his life I can feel threatened by and I hate this for him and also for me as I don't have any peace of mind. This is ruining the lovely relationship I know I could have so I really need to get a handle on it. Has anybody else experienced this and managed to control it?

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Relationship OCD alongside relationship issues

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