Anyone randomly ever starts talking and midway my brain starts feeling weird so it gets super hard to complete my sentence. And often I’m thinking about something and I feel so deattached like I feel weird af like I can’t describe this weird feeling. Can anyone relate? Also days when I’m feeling good.. I still have the fear like don’t be too happy cause ur OCD will return and torture u randomly. And I keep thinking like I was control myself for a year without harming anyone... but what if I hurt someone randomly and just don’t give a fuck? That’s another fear I have. But yeah please do let me know if your brain feels so weird while ur taking and suddenly it gets hard to talk anymore/ concentrate or even complete it sentence? Please help. I want my old self back again. So So Badly.

i’ve just been feeling so off lately. i’m okay right now, but a couple hours ago i was in this mood where i felt anxiety creeping up. like i will feel like there’s danger when there isn’t. i just get this really uncomfortable feeling that something feels wrong even when it isn’t. and i’ve been feeling derealization/depersonalization. just really disconnected from myself and the world. i’ve also been unmotivated to where there are times when the thought of doing things upsets me. and i’ve been having existential thoughts that do not mesh well with harm ocd. i get the thought “if people aren’t real then it’s okay to hurt them”. it sucks because there are times where i just don’t even care to ruminate and find reassurance that that’s not the case. furthermore, i’ve just been really aware of my existence. i will get moments where i’m so aware of my existence and it freaks me out. like the fact that i’m a living human being is crazy to me. then there are times when i’m not even anxious about anything which then has me questioning and ruminating on that because i ALWAYS have something i’m worrying about. i’ve also been feeling really nostalgic and bittersweet of the good memories from the past. i keep thinking about good times i’ve had and really wishing i could relive it. for example, last summer was a pretty good summer even with my ocd. and i just wish i could relive some of those moments, but i obviously can’t. and it’s been upsetting me because this month has been shitty with my anxiety. as for an update with my room change to those of you curious, i still have anxiety over it and my mom is taking it as me being ungrateful with what i have when it’s my ocd making a huge deal of it. that upsets me especially since i’ve told her what’s been going on and she was really understanding of it. anyways, life has just been a bit much and i’ve been dealing with more to my anxiety that i don’t appreciate. while worrying about constantly throwing up with my contamination ocd is incredibly exhausting, it’s so normal to me that i’m used to it. but when my harm ocd kicks in along with other themes that aren’t usually common for me, i freak out and feel like i’m going insane. i genuinely wonder how people have dealt with taboo topics of ocd without treatment for years on end. i’ve had harm intrusive thoughts since i was little, but it didn’t get to any extreme until 2023. i feel like i’m drowning in it when it decides to hit me and the thought of having to deal with it for the rest of my life?? i’m scared something in me will flip and i’ll become what my thoughts are telling me i am. i apologize for the mixed thoughts that are all over the place but i feel safe posting on here about it and want to hear how y’all are doing

Every time I try to talk about what I am feeling I feel like my mind goes blank and I don't know how to start I was diagnosed with OCD and I am taking medication and goes through CBT but I didn't feel like my life was back I didn't feel like I totally understand what is going on inside my mind and why this is happening and how. I feel like there is always something missed that I can't understand . The doctor and therapist didn't define what type of OCD I have But according to what I've read I think it's pure ocd cause I am always trying to understand every single thing and if I don't analyse I feel so frightened and not comfortable and these feelings come to me in different situation even if it's not about analysing. It comes when I draw ,study ,drive a car or just thinking about anything , Like when I think about how should I start a project or a job , I feel like I am soo lost like I am in nowhere so I feel panicked and dozens of thoughts come to my mind and I feel paralysed and soo overwhelmed . And these feelings just stay for a long time without knowing what triggered it so I don't know how to face then and they stay for a long time. I am not able to do anything in my life right now Neither study nor doing my hobbies . I feel like my life is frozen and I don't know if it will stay like this forever or not. Every time I feel like I controlled my ocd and know how to live with it it comes in a different shape that I can't recognise it and it sends me to the beginning and I feel like all my efforts were for nothing . Like it keeps beating me every time. I always afraid of my next setback and I keep feeling insecure and unstable until I have a relapse . Whenever I go through a problem, even the smallest problems, I feel stuck and suffocated and unable to face it with normal flexibility. I always focus on the details of each process so that if I forget how to do it or how I reached the ability to accomplish it, I remember how I did it before. And when I am unable to remember, the overwhelming feelings and frightening haunt me I feel like I'm monitoring my life in every detail so I feel safe, and if life goes smoothly and automatically,I feel frightened Sometimes I can face and deal with OCD in a good way to the point that I can return to my normal life rhythm, but suddenly the desire inside me to achieve and make up for what I missed takes me by surprise, and then an OCD attack takes me back to the beginning and reminds me that I am not as I was before. I feel that I cannot live and achieve what I want and face OCD at the same time. I am studying medicine and I am thinking of leaving it, even though I love it very much, but I am unable to study now, but if I leave it, what I am going through in my study of medicine in any other field will be repeated. Even when I am not doing anything I feel these feelings tie me up , like I feel I don't wanna do anything until these feelings disappear I have been in this state for 4 years. I feel that all my friends are moving forward and I am stuck. Is all of this OCD? I am very lost.

I haven’t posted here in a while but I just wanted to ask a question. While having ocd is it normal to have days when you don’t feel like talking to anyone even if you wanted to? I have felt this for a while and I can’t figure out why do I feel like that. Usually I’m a very talkative person and even when I don’t feel like talking to anyone I always talk to my boyfriend but now even talking to him feels like a burden and I just don’t understand why. This situation has also made my intrusive thoughts even worse:( Idk what to do and what to feel like, I’m feeling kind of empty and emotionless. I was diagnosed with ocd some months ago so I’m kind of new to all this stuff and that’s why I’m asking. I don’t want to ask questions in a compulsive way and I try very hard to avoid it if that makes any sense. I would be very grateful if someone could answer me:)