Elliexx

Date posted: 1y ago

Fear going out/ existential ocd

Does anyone feel scared of being outside or getting on with life while dealing with this? I’ve struggled with existential Ocd for the past few months and I am scared to be out and about because I’m scared of thinking into stuff or relapsing, or looking at something and it looks weird or unreal. Sometimes even watching people trigger me, I Haven’t been going to work because I’m scared to drive alone and also avoid being out at night at all costs because any of my worst panic attacks have been in the passenger seat of bfs car in the dark😢

Existential OCD

Anonymous586

Date posted: 1y ago

You’re not alone, this happens to me too! I know how my mind works and I get scared to stare at things for too long because I know my mind will start to distort it and question if it’s even real

Elliexx

Date posted: 1y ago

@FaithCeline It’s so scary isn’t it.. sometimes it makes me think is it even Ocd or is there something worse wrong with me but knowing others feel the same helps thank you

Anonymous586

Date posted: 1y ago

@Elliexoxo It’s so scary and it aids in my fear of having schizophrenia or that I’m going into psychosis and it sends me in a spiral

Elliexx

Date posted: 1y ago

@FaithCeline Aww I 100% relate that’s always a fear for me, but my therapist said she was looking for signs of that and assured me I am sane, which I’m sure you are too I think it’s because we fear it on top of not feeling “normal” to begin with

Anonymous586

Date posted: 1y ago

@Elliexoxo And like when I get into these spirals everything scares me, like I’ve always talked to myself in my head and I have moments where I’m like “is it normal to hear myself in my head”

Elliexx

Date posted: 1y ago

@FaithCeline Me too, I even feel like there’s an actual feeling in my forehead/ brain I get? I don’t know how to describe it And I feel like when I’m in a spiral I can make anything weird nothing comforts me 😢 I’ve gotten better at not spiralling tho so I’ve been feeling not as bad but it’s unbearable when it’s bad I feel trapped in my brain if you get me

Elliexx

Date posted: 1y ago

@FaithCeline And the worst part is the thoughts feel so real it made me scared of the human brain even that can be a trigger for me for a while all I could focus on was that a brain was controlling everyone and it almost dehumanised everyone if I’m watching tv or someone is speaking 💔 this seems to happen when I don’t get a break from the intrusive thoughts

Anonymous586

Date posted: 1y ago

@Elliexoxo Omg it’s so crazy but comforting to hear that I’m not the only one

Anonymous586

Date posted: 1y ago

@FaithCeline Sometimes I question so much that it’s like I don’t even recognize my surroundings, like I could be in my room for 15 minutes and after 20 minutes I’m thinking to myself “do I remember where I am” or does it look like it did 5 minutes ago ?

Elliexx

Date posted: 1y ago

@FaithCeline Yes!! I seem to think to myself if I’m in my room and I look around I think “how do I feel when I look at that does it look wierd” or if I’m lying in bed and i want to feel comfy I just think “how could I feel comfy when everything is weird” it’s like automatic thoughts but mostly it’s like making strange with anything I look it

Anonymous586

Date posted: 1y ago

@Elliexx Yes yes yes !! Sometimes it scares me just to know I’m here and know that I’m always alone with myself with a voice in my head even though it’s my own, like sometimes it feels like I don’t recognize myself and the voice in my head is a stranger

Elliexx

Date posted: 1y ago

@FaithCeline I feel the exact same way it makes me nauseous to think about and it just fuels it even more because it’s like everything i ever knew about the world or my feeling towards it feels like it’s gone and I’ve a new way of thinking which i hate I really think ignorance is bliss 😢

Anonymous586

Date posted: 1y ago

@Elliexx I feel the same ! I’m constantly convinced I’m going crazy and that I’m going to have to go to the psych ward and it scares me all the time, I really wish it would just go away already

Elliexx

Date posted: 1y ago

@FaithCeline Maybe I can give you tips I feel I’ve gotten more grounded with Prozac I’m around 3 weeks in and I feel I’m in reality more, and I do like a trick in my head 😂where I kinda pretend to flick the thought away when it comes and then just not think of one thing to say back to it basically acknowledge it and not reply and I feel it’s helped a lot with the cycle I don’t feel suffocated by them at the minute but it’s still hard to do normal things i am left scared of life

Elliexx

Date posted: 1y ago

@Elliexx It seems to be panic attacks that make me relapse so I try to avoid things or places that cause me to have a panic attack and that’s hard since I feel it will happen when I go out but this is seemingly what you shouldn’t do as it’s avoiding

Anonymous586

Date posted: 1y ago

@Elliexx I’m starting my second week of Prozac tmm ! I hope it starts having those effects with me too

sophielove

Date posted: 25w ago

Existential OCD and fear of aging

Hello, I am a young girl struggling with OCD, specifically existential related OCD. I feel constantly like my life is pointless, like my goals aren’t significant, because, I’m just going to be forgotten and die. What is the point? I don’t want to get old and not be able to do what I love. Sometimes I wonder if not existing would be easier, but I don’t want to die yet. It’s really confusing, and I’d love some tips I could get for motivation. I really want to be spiritual, but I struggle in believing in stuff so…?

Anonymous

Date posted: 22w ago

I'm fearing myself and I hate it

I haven't been officially diagnosed with OCD but when I learned more about it, I never related to anything more. A little back story: when I was younger, there were a couple of youth suicides in my area and the schools felt the need to have someone come in and talk about suicide. Well the person they had come in did a horrible job teaching it and basically made it seem like the smallest negative emotion or feeling or change in behavior made you suicidal. This ended up scaring me so much that I got horrid anxiety. Fast forward to now, Everytime I feel anxiety and panic, I fear I'm going to kill myself. Everytime I feel down and depressed, I fear I'll end it all. I'm scared to be around anything sharp because the "What if" I hurt myself comes into my mind. There are always intrusive thoughts at almost every point of the day. And it's not only for me. Everytime I hear someone being negative, I fear they will be suicidal. I know in my heart that none of this is true but it's terrifying me that it's stuck around so much that it makes me scared that maybe it is true. I've had a lot of death in my family in the past year and a half and a lot of other family drama that I'd never had before that is now also bringing up existential intrusive thoughts. And I'd never questioned anything about life before but now I get the "why is life like this?" and "does anything we do matter?" and I hate it. I don't want to think like that. I just want to go through life being able to handle things normally again. It terrifies me even right now going "what if you give up?"

Kammy

Date posted: 12w ago

This is draining

I started dealing with OCD when I became fixated on health issues, particularly the fear of contracting a life-threatening disease. If I experienced any kind of medical symptom, no matter how small, that even remotely hinted at something potentially fatal, it would drive me crazy, and I couldn’t stop obsessing over it. Then one day, I started having intrusive thoughts about accidentally hitting someone with my car, and I would end up driving in circles to check if I had. Eventually, I found myself overwhelmed by a flood of new obsessive thoughts and compulsions. One day, while I was at the park, a squirrel came near me, and for some reason, I felt like it attacked me. I Googled it and learned that squirrels could carry rabies, which spiraled me into a deep fear of rabies. I became consumed with the thought I received a bite from a squirrel, raccoon, or bat any time I’m in areas that trigger me. It started off only being inside then transferred to even being in my own home. This made me obsess over every physical sensation in my body, compulsively checking to make sure nothing was wrong. One compulsion that I hated the most would to be putting rubbing alcohol on me to make sure that I had no open wounds. Every day feels like I’m walking around in a fog of anxiety, constantly worrying that I won’t even make it to old age. Sometimes, it gets so overwhelming that I just want it all to end. It stresses me so bad at times to where my brain feels like I’ve been studying all day.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Fear going out/ existential ocd

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community