Shower thoughts

I struggle with having things I don’t want to be thinking about in the shower. Even why I try to think of other things like what I plan to do tomorrow to keep my mind busy. I try to ignore anything bad that comes up and focus on what I want to be thinking. But I’m bothered because a song popped into my head from an olllld YouTube video that I watched as a kid that had a kid in it and I didn’t even realize at first and then I freaked out like wait no no no I don’t want to think about that in the shower. I tried to rationalize like ok, I recognized I DONT want this and I stopped this in my mind before it continued, this shows I don’t want this. But I also feel like I’m in denial and making excuses. It’s just so hard when this happens because I mean I’m in the shower it feels so much worse to have things I don’t want to think come up. Why did that even pop up into my brain? Why did that happen? I hate showering or changing because I worry about something bad popping into my head while I don’t have clothes on. Does anyone else have this? I try but it’s moments like this that make me think I can’t live like this forever. I don’t want this it’s so miserable. And I feel like I’m not worried enough I just feel tired of worrying.

POCD

InnerPeace

Date posted: 1y

Super normal to feel that way especially with this theme. It is normal to not want themes of this nature to pop up at specific times. But as part of Exposure Response and Prevention try not to push those thoughts away. It sounds like you are forcing those thoughts out and I totally understand why but by doing that we tend to make them more aggressive and feed the OCD cycle. I know it’s super uncomfortable, I suffer with this theme as well and it’s torture so I understand but if you can let those thoughts in and not react to them it will get better over time. It takes practice and lots of patience. I know they are very difficult thoughts to even accept but if you can accept that it is just a symptom of OCD and has no other significance then over time it will get easier. Hang in there!!

bloominglotus

Date posted: 1y

@InnerPeace Thank you so much. You’re right. I think that I think I’m just noticing these thoughts and continuing with what I do want to be thinking, but really I’m avoiding by changing topics in my mind and trying to think about things I think are safe. It is something that definitely will take some time because it’s really scary to accept. But I don’t want it to get worse. I appreciate your advice so much and I’m sorry to hear you suffer with this as well. Thank you!!

InnerPeace

Date posted: 1y

@bloominglotus Absolutely! If you ever want to chat I am always here. This is a relatively new theme to me (about a month). I have had health anxiety/OCD for many years and then one night my life got turned upside down by this so I know how terrible it can be and how awful it can get. I would try having no expectation towards the thoughts/images/urges/sensations. I too would worry about the thoughts getting worse which in turn made them way worse and I started getting images and sensations but have been able to manage those symptoms with my therapist and ERP! If we look at them for what they are, which is just a thought that OCD created to scare us then we can identify that and move forward and hopefully ignore them all together.

clarestrugs

Date posted: 1y

I totally relate! Being exposed/ not clothed and alone with thoughts is hard

grellen2000

Date posted: 21w

Intrusive thoughts (21+ please)

I need advice for intrusive thoughts. I used to feel like I could handle them. They weren’t nearly as bad as the things that related to my actual life. But now, I’m suffering. I haven’t had a sexual experience in over a year that didn’t involve constant intrusive thoughts. Most are somehow related to kids and I keep chasing off the thoughts but it’s so bad. I know you’re supposed to ignore them but I don’t know how I can just ignore that and continue what I’m doing. But they’re coming on stronger. I had one earlier I could not get rid of just as things finished so the thought came on strongly just before my orgasm hit and now I feel absolutely disgusting. I hated the thought and I know it’s not me and it was not enjoyable but it still feels like I was getting off to it. I feel sick. I’m so fucking tired of these thoughts. They’re in my every day life too and it’s all the time. I just want it to stop but ignoring it feels so wrong. What should I do?

Anonymousssssss

Date posted: 21w

Help

I deal pretty heavily with this. The last couple days, I’ve had what I think are urges. Something pops into my head intrusively and then what stems from that is me WANTING to just indulge in it even though it’s gross. I get worried bc I used to struggle w thoughts about my dad for a long time until eventually I just purposely thought of him while self pleasuring and got off to it. While that’s something I did, it is NOT me. It all stemmed from my mental health declining a couple years back, I was never this way before. So I get worried that it almost happened or might happen with my pocd cuz I could never live with myself if it did.

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 18w

Anxious

I'm at my college and don't feel like being here. I didn't even want to come here. I woke up with anxiety bc i feel like i need to solve this. I had a bad stomach ache when i arrived to school and still havent even eaten breakfast yet bc i feel like i have to solve this. Im just so worried bc i have harm thoughts daily. If i could i would remove this! I dont want to think anymore. Its just, how do I know i dont have real urges when I'm feeling a negative emotion like anger or disappointment or annoyance? Im worried EVERY time i feel a negative emotion. Yesterday I was playing video games with my neice (we are close in age range) and she made us lose. She started blaming me and I guess i felt a little annoyed, it really wasnt my fault (dumb mini argument it was more playful since we started laughing but it was a bit annoying). Anyway i got a harm thought while feeling annoyed of me getting off the couch and lunging at her to attack. I immediately look at my bodily reaction and I tense up to stay as still as possible. My stomach was hurting and i wanted to leave as fast as possible. I stood up and turned off the game and said i was tired while making sure to stay back from her (and i had my hands away and stiff) but i felt so uneasy. I laid I bed and felt sad and heavy. And i kept getting thoughts that said "íts only a matter of time before you can't take it anymore". I started to reassurance seek using ai to ask if i was about to or if they are real urges or thoughts i mean until i eventually fell asleep in the middle of the compulsion. Im just so worried, what if I act out impulsevly one day? I dont want to! But what if when feeling a negative emotion, i suddenly dont care and do something? I really dont want to! I dont even want to feel negative emotions anymore since they trigger the thoughts and I dont want to think about any of that. As a result i tend to avoid my family as much as possible bc they are annoying sometimes. I just wish i was all alone sometimes so i wont get any more thoughts and so everyone can be safe. I usually just stay in bed under my blankets all day long to avoid my family and pets. I am constantly uncomfortable. I miss when i would never think any of this. Living life has become very scary for me now. 😞

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