Feeling upset and overwhelmed…

Relationship OCD brings out the most frustrating and strangling feelings and emotions associated. It’s so upsetting because my thoughts feel real but I know that my mind is just trying to torture me with what-ifs. I dread when my boyfriend has to take his truck to our auto body shop, about every month, because of this front desk woman who had and I believe still does have something for my boyfriend. I dread every aspect of the ordeal… from them texting to set up the appointments, to texts and calls about the updates, to him dropping off his truck/picking it up/paying the bill. It has gotten so extreme for me that while I’m at work and he drops it off, I’m checking his location to see how long he is there. I’m just so scared that she is flirting with him or vice versa or both… it makes me sick to my stomach when in reality he has never done anything during our relationship that would make me not trust him. It’s just awful and I feel crazy when really I am ridden with fear, mistrust, and insecurity I guess…

Relationship OCD

batswithbootson

Date posted: 1y

Omg I completely understand. It's SO HARD to cope with thoughts like these because it's almost a realistic situation. However you have to think about the type of person your partner is & if you truly believe they'd do that to you. Usually, you can determine sometimes what might be a problem by a person's behavior. Which I know may not make the OCD easier, and I'm not trying to freak you out by saying that. 😅 I guess what I mean is, you can sometimes "tell" a lot about a person just based on how they are in certain situations; I got some really good advice once by one of my best friend's mom's: she said, "Be sure to see how someone is in various situations of life before you think about truly settling down with them." If you haven't seen your boyfriend reciprocate anything at all, even if he has been flirted with before, it's usually a good sign. 🫶

HumanBeing

Date posted: 1y

@batswithbootson He is very mature and faithful to me at heart. I think I know he would never cheat on me and he is very sensitive to that topic/if I were to ever cheat as well (because we both get scared about anything that would tear us apart)… but the what ifs seem to overpower what I think I know. I don’t really know how he is when I’m not around because we are attached at the hip. I know that there has never been anything between him and this woman in the past decades they’ve known each other so I doubt anything would happen now but it’s hard to not think they flirt when I’m not around because I think they used to have a dynamic like that before me

batswithbootson

Date posted: 1y

@HumanBeing I totally understand! I just made such a recent post about this same thing & how things like this scare me as well. I know me telling you how I feel may not do much to put you at ease. However my best thing is, if he keeps staying mature & level with you, I truly believe everything will be alright. It's good that you have someone in your life who is honest. ❤️

HumanBeing

Date posted: 1y

@batswithbootson Thank you so much, I hope you are right…

HumanBeing

Date posted: 1y

Obviously I have an issue with rumination and the compulsions are looking at his location, looking at his conversations with her, and wanting to ask him everything they talked about which thankfully I am able to resist out of embarrassment

batswithbootson

Date posted: 1y

I totally get what you're saying. It's like you don't wanna keep asking for reassurance so you want to do research for yourself, almost. It's so difficult to deal with thoughts like that. 🫶

HumanBeing

Date posted: 1y

@batswithbootson You’re so right… thank you for listening and talking to me

batswithbootson

Date posted: 1y

@HumanBeing Of course. I will always be here for any of y'all. Since I've found this forum my life has changed so much. Like I've always felt "crazy" and deep down I know I'm not. There ARE others who understand how this feels. We are not alone. ❤️

JazzyRoses

Date posted: 19w

Being Cheated On OCD

Hi everyone! I have been having a rough time. So my boyfriend talks to his ex still as friends and I’ve been struggling with it lately and I can’t tell if it’s OCD or not but it does feel so distressing. She wasn’t texting him for about 2-3 months as she got into a relationship with this guy and they broke up. She had messaged him saying that she has no one else to talk to and needed to vent to someone. At first I felt okay, but my intrusive thoughts took over and it seemed like she was trying to get with him after the fact. It’s probably just my intrusive thoughts talking but he looks on Discord (the app where the message) constantly now and my intrusive thoughts convince me that he’s still in love with her. Then yesterday I saw one of his BeReals (a little photo app that shows a photo of the day) and I saw that he was watching one of her streams as she is a streamer. I struggled to talk about it because it made my worst thought feel like it came true where he is still in love with her. When we talked he gets a lil mad that I don’t tell him right away like straight up what I’m feeling but it’s hard to process because my thoughts flood in of all the worst things and I don’t want to come off as toxic at all and I know relationships are built on trust and I want to trust because this is literally the only thing that makes me nervous about him. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been cheated on before so I’m trying to protect myself but I’m lost. I get so depressed and so anxious because I feel like I have to grieve the relationship and it’s just so dramatic. I’ve never loved anyone like this before and I don’t wanna lose him by bringing this stuff up constantly when something occurs with his ex. I don’t know why I get triggered so easily and I just wanna heal from it and be the good girlfriend I’m supposed to be 😭

ellij

Date posted: 10w

ROCD flare up

Lately my ROCD has been flaring up, making it difficult to even be around my partner. I’m having so many troubling thoughts with the one that bugs me most being, “maybe this isn’t my OCD, maybe I’m just in a bad relationship and I’m trying to cover it up and blame it on OCD”. This thought really scares me because there are valid doubts in my relationship but my boyfriend and I have openly talked about them and are trying to work through. My OCD won’t take that as an option tho. It makes me feel like I need to be 100% certain that these things can NEVER happen again or else we need to break up immediately. So anything he says in that moment about trying to do better, my OCD will not trust anything he says and just wait until the next “bad thing” happens. When I continuously bring these things up to my boyfriend even tho nothing has happened between these conversations, it exhausts him making it feel like he can never do enough. I feel so bad because I know it’s just my OCD getting in the way. But then that thought creeps in saying I can’t trust him because I need to protect myself. It’s just an ongoing cycle that is so tiring. I don’t even know what I want anymore. We are very opposite when it comes to emotions. I am very in tune and very emotionally intelligent, and he is not. He is the opposite. I do recognize that my anxious attachment style may be hard for him too but I can’t stop thinking about all of his flaws and all of the things he needs to do to make our relationship better. It makes me feel like I’m the only one putting in effort when in reality that is not true. But my OCD does make me feel like he doesn’t really love me or want to be with me and that he feels forced to be with me or do things for me. It makes me feel like him being with me is like a chore. Can anyone relate? My OCD just makes me feel like I can’t trust anything he says to make our relationship better.

Relationship OCD

naiad

Date posted: 9w

Relationship OCD

Hi all, I’m F(20) and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend M(20) for 10 months now. Lately it feels like I’ve been getting triggered at the tiniest thing. My relationship OCD is centered around the idea that my bf will leave me, that suddenly his feelings will change and he’ll never look back. Inherently I know this is irrational and I know he loves me very much (as he tells me repeatedly when I compulsively ask for reassurance). I just can’t make my brain stop. I just feel so unsecured. He will mention that one of his friends drove an hour to see him for only 30 minutes. I will then spiral that I am not possibly doing enough and it’s because he’s secretly done with me and he’s longing for a reason to leave and go be with this friend instead. See? Truly irrational. But I cannot stop it. Any tips at all? Maybe I’m at least not alone in this. I often feel literally insane:(

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