I hate this

Last night I went to a staff Christmas party and they all started brining up the guy I’ve been seeing, they all know him outside of me so it was funny to them. They were talking about him to me and I was just answering back I didn’t bring him up. At first I thought it was funny, but hours into them all making jokes and messaging him about stuff I didn’t say it started to annoy me and worry me that he’s gonna hate it and ditch me because I know what he’s like he hates being the centre of a conversation and it stresses him out. I then noticed when one of them showed me his messages that he had his location turned off for me and only me, during the day I didn’t care about his location that’s for him to decide, but then seeing it turned off only for me started to make me think and I got a bit worried. I was messaging him this entire time telling him to ignore them and that I was sorry they brought it up not me, they were stiring the pot massively. I then jokes about his location “on for Ashley but not me ugh emotional attack” because I won’t lie even though I don’t stalk you the fact it’s turned off just for me feel suss. He apologised and turned it back on (not what I brought it up for) and now I’m sat here scared to death he thinks I’m some psycho loony who stalks him, no that’s not why I was annoyed I’m annoyed because you isolated me out of everyone, like I was his mate Noah who gets on his nerves and he rants about all the time because he’s annoyed about him using his location, so my brain feels a bit shit and I will bring it all up to him hit another day. Anyway, my brain is not telling me I look fucking stupid and everyone is taking the piss out of me and I overreacted even though I was really overwhelmed because they wouldn’t stop talking about it and I’m so stressed out. He’s telling me it’s all fine even though it just doesn’t feel all fine and his reactions and responses feel a bit like he’s annoyed and idk if I’m reading into the texts too much or if it’s actually happening

talleyfox

Date posted: 1y

im so sorry i feel this. everytime someone asks me about the guy im feeling i have so many mixed emotions, especially in relation to how he feels about me or the relationship.. etc. i cant help but obsess over our every moments together and our texts to try and understand "where we are" or "how he feels". i always end up feeling unsure, or feeling like i dont know, like it isn't clear to me. i realize its because im obsessing while im with him, so i think over what we're talking about and hardly get a chance to really SEE him, and see the signs that he likes me. i know its my OCD, and i fight it. its so hard to remember all the "right" or "logical" things when im stuck in the moment of obsessing and going in circles in my mind about it. only you know your relationship, only you can set your boundaries (telling your coworkers when you're uncomfortable "hey I'm sorry but it's getting a bit much / overwhelming, could you guys stop poking fun like this? its not fun for me". and further, remember when you're with him... its not YOUR responsibility to do all this mental work trying to investigate how he feels. its only your responsibility to express how YOU feel, and his responsibility to express how HE feels.. whatever he says, take it as truth until it isnt anymore. and if he eventually says "well, i ACTUALLY felt this way all along.." its okay. its okay because it wasnt your fault for not knowing, if he didnt tell you.

talleyfox

Date posted: 1y

overall though, its going to be okay. if you can, distance yourself from the situation and do something else. the more you think about it, the more you will look for evidence to support your worst fears and thoughts, and the worse you will feel in general. and next time you see him, act as if nothing happened. if he likes you, he's not going to break up with you just because some people bothered him one day of the week

Anonymous

Date posted: 23w

I think he hates me

So I was talking to this one polyamorous guy but we had been friends before we started talking romantically. Anyway one day he has a mental breakdown and he says he can't do polyamory rn (for reasons I won't get into but I think they're valid) and I was like that's fine. But now it just feels like we can't talk to each other. I am either terrified that I won't be able to talk to him cause I will be too upset or I am terrified he won't talk to me because he hates me. We used to talk nonstop everyday but now we haven't talked for three days. And I don't know if it's me or him, or maybe I am just losing it. But all I want to do is talk to him. I am always checking his socials just trying to see if he's online and wondering if he will or why won't he text me. Anytime we do talk, it's always like a two sentence exchange. Maybe it's him, maybe he needs space, but everytime I see him (we go to college together) he seems to be happier, everytime he posts on twitter he seems happier, I don't know. I just want him to like me. I want to talk to him. I am scared I have to stop talking to him completely, because in the past I have never gotten over someone unless someone else comes in and takes their place so it isn't like we can take a break and then I come back and everything's good. It would likely take a long time, and it's only been like 4 months since we started talking 😭 (I am so cooked). I don't know why I am like this. I wish I could be normal about him/other people. I don't know if I am just in an OCD spiral or not, but I just want it to be over. Sorry for the rambling, but if anyone has any advice I will consider it.

savannahframe19

Date posted: 18w

ugh help.

my ocd and anxiety has been so bad a couple of days… so i started liking this guy that i am friends with and we also went to prom together… after prom, i caught feelings for him even more because he’s so respectful and nice… but he is also a boy that acts like one… but overall he’s rlly sweet.. the other day though since we go to the same school we were in the parking lot after school with our friends just talking and socializing… but once he was leaving i went to go give him a hug and hugged me… my other guy friend was with us who’s also friends with him and hugged him too and whispered in his ear and said “yo u and sav would be a good couple” and he nodded saying “yes” (my guy friend told me that) so eventually i told him saying “yeah i like him” blah blah but there is a problem that bothers me so badly… my friend likes him… i didn’t tell her for a while until i think my OCD was just bothering me sm if i didn’t tell her so i told her how i felt and i was just saying like “i don’t want this to ruin our friendship or anything but i have feelings for him…” yada yada… she was like “i understand but if i’m honest with u if u ask him out i will be upset” i’m just like i wasn’t planning to rlly i can’t tell if he rlly likes me anyways but i didn’t say that… i said “i’m just telling u how i feel” and she goes “i mean i would see u guys anyways because u guys are closer” then she says “can i ask u something and a non rude way” and i was like sure…. she goes “since i’m the first person that liked him can i give it a try if it doesn’t work that’s that” and i was like girl idk it’s Gods plan if it doesn’t work it doesn’t if it does it does” and i’m saying that in the most mature and respectful way yk? because i am christian i’ve been praying about it also. so we were good after that but my anxiety and OCD has been so horrible… i’m uncomfortable around them because she flirts with him but i don’t and she did it on ft when i fell asleep on ft and my best friend was on there and had to hear it….she told me that he does it back she just can’t tell if he’s joking or not… but i’m so overwhelmed about it i’m having thoughts like “what if u and him stop being friends” … “what if something bad happens” …. “what if ur not confident in yourself enough where he won’t like you” …. “what if this is a love triangle” i’m just so sick of this and i don’t wanna be so distraught over a stupid boy because i’ve been through sm with my past talking stage thinking it will work but now im like rlly cauious over being in a relationship now…

stuckonathought

Date posted: 17w

Convinced myself of something bad

Basically when I was drunk I was flirting with this guy I usual flirt with he was telling me that nothing could happen because he’s friends with my cousin, so I got really close to him and said oh resllr so you don’t want me, and I can’t remember what he said but I then kissed his like cheek or near his ear to like flirt with him and I’ve convinced myself because he said he couldn’t that basically I’ve harassed him. I left him alone after we’d finished talking but I’m so worried that me sorta going are you sure to him because he kept saying “maybe one day but right now I can’t” and saying “it’s not that I don’t want to” But I’m really scared that I’ve done something wrong. I keep picturing me kissing his cheek and him going like ugh fuck off when I don’t think that happened? I just have the worst anxiety around it right now

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