- Date posted
- 1y
:(
it feels like i’m not interested in boys now and that just scares me, like i always have been and wanted their attention but now it feels like i don’t. i just want all of this to be over :(
it feels like i’m not interested in boys now and that just scares me, like i always have been and wanted their attention but now it feels like i don’t. i just want all of this to be over :(
Attraction can fluid when at times of anxiety or when we put a focus on it! OCD of course doubts everything and will latch onto the focused thought. I have had a few moments myself of questioning but if you dig deep down you will find your true self through all of the doubt! I’m sorry you’re experiencing these distressing thoughts!
@kiki.02 Well I think of it more philosophically in the sense that anxiety and ocd does not have an assigned sexuality and or gender role, so what I mean is that we ourselves before anxiety or OCD maybe have known or identified our attractions, but when OCD and anxiety hit they tend to make our emotions and or attractions feel fluid in the sense of questioning or doubting!
@kiki.02 But given that it’s common to imagine scenarios in our OCD minds this to that OCD feeds into that.
@kiki.02 Well of course you don’t have to go through with it! You ultimately have the choice in the end, OCD cannot make you in reality do anything, its purpose is to send you misfirings in the mind and trick you into thinking you have too or you are or whatever it might be! Sort of like I know I’m LGBTQ+ I know I’m not straight and I also know I’m not a “P” given that I have POCD related thoughts! But OCD will try and work endlessly into trying to convince me otherwise.
@kiki.02 Of course! Same too you! We all can recover! 😊
@jpell0w I love how you put this!!! I am a cis-gendered woman currently experiencing the Gender Identity Theme and sometimes, it gets so bad go the point where it feels like losing control or like my reality is morphing. But like you said, they are misfirings that feel so convincing. Deep down, I know I'm cis, I never felt any differently and I know that being bisexual is not a "sign" of me being a man. But since this episode started, it can definitely scare me into thinking so or that I should be afraid of my sexual orientation, even though all my life, I have been very content and secure with who I am!
@ctc1999 Precisely! Our true self’s will always be separate from the OCD mind!
@jpell0w You are so right!!! It just gets so scary trying to differentiate between the two because they feel as one at times. But I guess that's another thing, maybe I am ruminating too much and need to just sit with the uncertainty maybe??
I feel the same, like my attraction to women has jus vanished. Or even when I do find one attractive my Brian will say something about how I can find guys attractive the same way too
Lately, I’ve been feeling like something has changed in me — like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. It’s one of the worst sensations I’ve ever felt. I keep thinking things like “I don’t love him like before” or “I’ve changed too much to feel anything now.” Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like I’m being mean, cold, disconnected — and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now… I just don’t feel the same. That makes me think: “Maybe I’ve fallen out of love.” But I’m also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I can’t relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is “right.” It makes me wonder — maybe I haven’t actually changed. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I don’t know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isn’t proof that love is gone, but a sign that I’m scared and burnt out.
my thoughts are screaming at me telling me that i dont want my relationship anymore and that i realized i lost feelings. i have a beautiful relationship of two years with a beautiful boy that loves me dearly and i deal with this thoughs for a year and a half. Im so scared it feels so real im scared i have changed and my last therapy session made it worse she basically told me i have to realise the thoughts are true and stop lying to myself. And made me think i am so scared and heartbroken bc i put high expectations on myslef to be with my boyfriend for all my life. Maybe i dont want to hurt him??? im always questioning my feelings for him 24/7 for over a year. I wm tierd
hi guys i added to list. i’m freaking out i just need some help. signs of comphet (comphet is when lesbians who don’t know it and just follow norms and believe there straight) ive felt: “I never felt anything when kissing boys and totally thought that was normal… I talk to men, go on dates, but I think it’s to keep my life ‘interesting’ and have something to talk about with friends.” • lack of deep, natural emotional connection • • talking about my boyfriend to other people made me feel “cool”, “worthy”, “interesting” and felt like a way to prove myself • being able to clearly articulate all the reasons I liked a guy crush/my boyfriend (he’s smart, funny, kind, handsome, etc) whereas with a girl crush I can’t exactly put my finger on why I like them but I’m just naturally drawn to them • never missing my exes or feeling heartbroken about them (i would feel sad from being lonely and no longer having that daily routine of having someone to talk to, but didn’t necessarily miss that specific person) • i was always very hesitant about “becoming official” with a guy i would be seeing and would make him wait before deciding to date because i “didn’t know if i really liked him or not” only being aroused by their the man’s desire for me • Thinking I was cooler than other girls because I didn't spend any time thinking about how cute boys were or being "boy-crazy". I was under the impression for a while that I must just be less shallow than other people because I didn't really take looks into account when I had a crush on a boy, I only factored in their personality. chasing the ego boost more than emotional closeness agreed with friends or mom about someone being attractive even if you didn’t feel it—another big flag being bored, ditching serious commitment, chasing the drama again it also feels like i’m acting a lot of the time to make it more romantic cause i cringe When you fantasize about men, it is mostly just enacting a kind of narrative. More focused on movement than features- the men in your fantasies might be faceless or blank-featured or their bodies might symbolize some emotion. you might not even be in the in the fantasy, but instead another faceless woman might be. You might even imagine yourself as the man. The narrative follows the sexual script, but the details are more vague and abstract and might even shift and change throughout the fantasy. i dont care about like what guys looks like. like my sister saw a video of a guy working out and was like got damn omg gotta like that. if i saw that i would prob be like damn to try and prove something to myself but i don’t really understand what i should feel it feels like i relate to so much comphet after i read it on reddit and it doesn’t even make me want to cry and die anymore. it feels like i tolerate men or have done it for attention or because i thought it was going to happen at some point cause it was what was happening around me like sister and friends. i’m scared ill never find someone i want to marry that’s a man it feels like it’s all just comphet and i don’t want to actually be with a man the more my meds work and anxiety lessens the more the fear feels real because i can’t get myself anxious about it anymore. i can about other stuff but not this. i always told myself i don’t chase i attract. maybe thats cause i never wanted a big badly enough. maybe what im missing is a girl what if that ends up feeling more real Straight people don’t need to talk themselves into what’s hot. like during the hocd break i would try and like see what was “hot” and and be like yeah that’s hot. i also i refused to masturbate to women and not think about it because i didn’t want it to prove that i still liked it but i mean idk if that was left over hocd
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