stargirlll
- Date posted
- 1y
:(
it feels like i’m not interested in boys now and that just scares me, like i always have been and wanted their attention but now it feels like i don’t. i just want all of this to be over :(
jpell0wjpell0w
- Date posted
- 1y
Attraction can fluid when at times of anxiety or when we put a focus on it! OCD of course doubts everything and will latch onto the focused thought. I have had a few moments myself of questioning but if you dig deep down you will find your true self through all of the doubt! I’m sorry you’re experiencing these distressing thoughts!
jpell0wjpell0w
- Date posted
- 1y
@kiki.02 Well I think of it more philosophically in the sense that anxiety and ocd does not have an assigned sexuality and or gender role, so what I mean is that we ourselves before anxiety or OCD maybe have known or identified our attractions, but when OCD and anxiety hit they tend to make our emotions and or attractions feel fluid in the sense of questioning or doubting!
jpell0wjpell0w
- Date posted
- 1y
@kiki.02 But given that it’s common to imagine scenarios in our OCD minds this to that OCD feeds into that.
jpell0wjpell0w
- Date posted
- 1y
@kiki.02 Well of course you don’t have to go through with it! You ultimately have the choice in the end, OCD cannot make you in reality do anything, its purpose is to send you misfirings in the mind and trick you into thinking you have too or you are or whatever it might be! Sort of like I know I’m LGBTQ+ I know I’m not straight and I also know I’m not a “P” given that I have POCD related thoughts! But OCD will try and work endlessly into trying to convince me otherwise.
jpell0wjpell0w
- Date posted
- 1y
@kiki.02 Of course! Same too you! We all can recover! 😊
ctc1999ctc1999
- Date posted
- 1y
@jpell0w I love how you put this!!! I am a cis-gendered woman currently experiencing the Gender Identity Theme and sometimes, it gets so bad go the point where it feels like losing control or like my reality is morphing. But like you said, they are misfirings that feel so convincing. Deep down, I know I'm cis, I never felt any differently and I know that being bisexual is not a "sign" of me being a man. But since this episode started, it can definitely scare me into thinking so or that I should be afraid of my sexual orientation, even though all my life, I have been very content and secure with who I am!
jpell0wjpell0w
- Date posted
- 1y
@ctc1999 Precisely! Our true self’s will always be separate from the OCD mind!
ctc1999ctc1999
- Date posted
- 1y
@jpell0w You are so right!!! It just gets so scary trying to differentiate between the two because they feel as one at times. But I guess that's another thing, maybe I am ruminating too much and need to just sit with the uncertainty maybe??
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 1y
I feel the same, like my attraction to women has jus vanished. Or even when I do find one attractive my Brian will say something about how I can find guys attractive the same way too
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geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 24w
My life is over
I won’t explain this again if you’ve been or going through it you know what I’m talking about. I felt good about women about an hour ago and now I’m worrying again I’m anxious and the groinals are back and it’s so annoying because I can’t study. And honestly I’m so sick and tired of this. I’ve been a girl crazy my whole life and my mind randomly decides “well what if you are gay” like bro. I’ve never seen a guy that way and in general IT WAS NEVER SOMETHING I THOUGHT ABOUT OR ASSOCIATED MYSELF WITH. IVE NEVER FELT ANYTHING TOWARDS A MAN AND NOW IT FEELS LIKE IT RANDOMLY FLIPPED. I CANT DO THIS BRO. WHY WOULD THIS HAPPEN IVE BEEN GOING THROUGH INSECURITIES ALREADY AND MY ATTRACTION WAS THE ONLY REAL THING I HAD LEFT AND NOW THIS. HOW MUCH DO YOU HATE ME GOD.
anonymous1348
- Date posted
- 24w
hocd
I don’t know what to do anymore, this started nearly a year ago and caused so much stress and panic attacks over the thought of loosing my boyfriend. Now it just feels real and that he always liked girls and suppressed it (but like the boys i always liked in the past were real feelings they had to be and with my boyfriend i love him) but i haven’t got much anxiety now feels like i want the thoughts and that they don’t bother me even tho they used to, this seems to happen every time i get a lil better, idk just feels so true and that’s what i acc want with no stress, just a lil scared.
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 22w
I feel so different from others
I feel different from others, I don’t feel as feminine and I feel like I’ve changed. I’m not sure why I feel this way. I also don’t think my ocd is ocd, it’s just something I told myself to feel better. I know! What if I am what if I’m not, I get it, but I don’t feel like i have a choice in the matter anymore. I have soocd and it’s eaten me alive for years. I woke up out of my sleep and got triggered and here I am. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I always wanted a boyfriend and now It seemed to change. I don’t want a girlfriend, it’s just that I don’t see anything for myself and I feel like I’m hiding. It’s hard to explain. Plus sometimes the way I move or speak makes me feel more masculine and it kills me. Im feeling so lost and alone right now. I know what I want deep down but I feel incapable of having those things because I won’t be able to have feeling. If that makes sense.
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