Are they the same thing? I know this could be seen as reasurance seeking but I'm generally asking what the difference between the two is not for reasurance reasons but for educational reasons. I've tried differentiating them but can't seem to? Can anyone explain?
Just from a quick google and what came to mind: Aesthetic attraction is more the way we might feel pleased / attracted by looking at a super nice new wooden interior of a newly renovated building... While physical attraction is towards another person? Both are "physical" in a sense, I guess.
But then again why do people say you can aesthetically appreciate someone's looks by thinking they're handsome or pretty? That's where I'm not understanding I thought every straight man could find other men handsome or like their voice but if I were to be physically attracted to features that would make me bi? I understand trying to figure it out isn't going to help me but it's been so long and I want to educate myself more
I also read that physical attraction is the desire to be touched or have contact with the person ? I'm so confused on what physical attraction even means at this point lol I apologise for writing so much it's just very confusing
No I feel you. I'm not exactly sure. I, only ever being with women, find other men attractive as well. Especially their energy / aura. Almost like "damn". Does that mean I want to .... ? No. I think its certainly natural to feel attraction towards another human being regardless of your own personal preferences for sexual interactions. I think suppressing the feeling of finding another male attractive (if you are straight) could actually be quite harmful. I'm not an expert this is just my personal experience. As for the dinscintion betwen physcial and aesthetic attraction, I don't think it matters as you said.
Or maybe just ask someone who is more attuned to those specific descriptions. Just through my experience aesthetically appealing refers to clothing, makeup even, or nature, buildings, etc... I can also see how the human body can be aesthetically attractive, such as a body builder? With no physical attraction? Geez you got me all confused now too lol.
@Anonymous Yeah exactly lol I'm confused because physically I don't want to touch or get touched by other men but when it comes to their appearance or voice I can find them handsome or pretty same as women but when it comes to actual sexuality I've only ever been interested in women but just the finding men attractive is very distressing and confusing. I am not against it neither is it wrong it just feels very uncomfortable and anxiety inducing sometimes.
@NeverGiveUp - That I feel: "but just the finding men attractive is very distressing and confusing. I am not against it neither is it wrong it just feels very uncomfortable and anxiety inducing sometimes." From my own experience, the distress and confusion may be coming from previous experiences in the past where people around you would make fun of gay people / make it like it was something weird, wrong, etc... - It could also be from people calling you gay/f*g, which I've been called, and then we subconsciously will sortve shy away from those feelings or expressions that may be deemed "gay". This could lead to feeling uncofmrtable, anxious, etc..., especially when we experience thoughts or feelings about another man, people are around, "we don't want anyone to think were gay", etc... Sort've like a double edge sword: we don't mind people being gay, truly, yet we will almost go to the end of the world to protect ourselves from being gay or being perceived as gay. Something to definitely ponder on and work through, mentally and emotionally/energetically. This is just me, and thought id share if you do resonate.
I’m looking at old pictures and videos of my ex and I didn’t feel a spark or anything looking at them. During our relationship there were times I found her attractive and other times I didn’t. Almost like her weight triggered me and I felt guilty about that because I really tried to not focus on that. I don’t know why I was/am so fixated on her weight. I was doing the “what ifs” as a form of ERP. I was saying in my head, “what if she’s big what if she’s not” while looking at these pictures and videos. And then looking at it again, I was trying to remember what I felt when I was with her and took out the physical and it made my anxiety go down a bit. But I don’t wanna force anything or get myself too hyped up but for that second I felt at ease. I’m ngl I’m a little more confident then I was a year ago w/ myself. Sometimes I ask myself, “was I fixated on her weight and certain people seeing her bc I was uncomfortable about how I looked?” I’m trying to sit with uncertainty. I know this is a process and I am scared what’s gonna happen. “What if she moves on? What if I do?” I feel like I don’t know what love is anymore or if I ever was attracted to her in the first place. I’m also scared that if she does lose weight I’ll like her more and become more attracted. I’ve looked a pictures of her before and it triggers me bc I am attracted a little bit more and that makes me feel guilty. I know looks aren’t everything and they shouldn’t be. She’s honestly the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Does there need to be a spark all the time or does it fade in a relationship? Before getting on this app and seeing a therapist, we were talking everyday and I felt like when we would FaceTime I would look at her physical and my instrusive thoughts would kick in. I noticed that certain ways she layed or turned her head, I felt more attracted to her and I hated that. She had dyed her hair back in November and I felt more attracted to her , but my thoughts got to me and I felt like if I flirted it would come off fake. My thoughts would say, “she’s more attractive bc she has different color.” I kept my distance because I thought maybe if I continue to see my therapist and get on medication i would feel differently. I was hoping something would happen or I would feel something like I did when we first got together. But I’ll be honest when I first met her I wasn’t attracted. So maybe this isn’t an OCD thing? I’m confused. But I feel more confident with myself now, but I know I still have a long way to go. I’ve only been in therapy for 6 months. I’m just getting impatient and I’m trying not to.
so, my intrusive feelings started over a thought about a guys arms being attractive, and i still think big arks are attractive, but i hate his face? and his personality, so would it still be false attraction? if i like his body but not his face or personality because i have every single false attraction sign, but i just like his arms/body. someone please lmk!!
Just curious, how does the false attraction feel to you? I believe people say they are different. I’m not reassuring, just interested in other peoples experiences. Mine feels like my chest is crushed with anxiety, when I notice a good looking male, it feels like I’ve just missed being hit in the car (that fear sensation). I feel sick after the thoughts. I also feel my face screw up which may be a compulsion which I’m trying to stop.
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