Why does it feel so real??

Its just your OCD messing with your mind. Trust me, things will get better soon. Do you see a therapist?

Our brains can fool us :/ OCD is partly a biological problem, i.e. the brain not working quite right.

Just re commenting this as my keyboard mucked up. It might help though seeing one. Have you gone to your local doctor and spoken to them about this? They might be able to get you referred to somewhere as they did that with me and I'm getting CBT soon. I know exactly how you feel. I'm suffering from both hOCD and harm OCD. I've had both in the past but this time it's worse and it's ruining my life. No matter how real it feels, it's just your OCD. It always wants to make you believe the opposite to who you really are.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. But you are strong and you can get through this

Due to low key anxeity. Sadly we have to accept it even though it really feels so real.

No I can't afford a therapist. I've hocd for a year now, and the last couple of months it became much worse. The thoughts feel so real that I have a lot of panic attacks. I don't know what to do anymore..

Thanks for your responses. I know it is better to go to my doctor, but something is holding me back. Sometimes I don't even know anymore if it's HOCD.. Today I had a panic attack, and my head felt so heavy (filled with anxiety and fear), I just don't know what the heck is going on. Everything what I say to myself, seems a lie. I always keep getting thoughts like 'but what if you're just homophobic', or 'what if all your crushes on girls were fake'. And the most scary part of the last thought is that it really really feels fake. Atm I just have no attraction to girls and that scares the shit out of me. I'm very sorry you're going through this as well, it's awful.. Today, I had to keep searching on the internet for 'HOCD tests', or 'HOCD VS denial' video's, and when I did, the panic attack started. I don't know how to describe the feeling I have, but it feels like a very heavy / black feeling in my head from which I just cannot escape from. The only thing I enjoy these days are the moments where I can sleep. My day starts with Hocd thoughts and ends with it, non stop.