Differing interests

I was good with my themes kinda, and then I felt the ocd switch so that was expected. But this one feels different, since my ocd I’ve been more accepting of gay people, I believe in God and that he created life and people as they are, and don’t believe that it’s necessarily wrong to be gay, but my boyfriend believes that being gay is a sin, he’s not discriminating or disrespectful to anyone. He has never let it impact the way it treats anyone like ever. This topic has only come up in conversation like twice in the 4 years we’ve been together and both times it was while I had soocd so it felt super sensitive to talk about. But now, I’m grasping more with seeing him as his own person again and not comfort for my ocd, so my ocd is clinging onto this one difference between us and it truly feels now like this is a dealbreaker, even though this has never impacted our relationship together at all. It wouldn’t impact the way we raise our kids or treat other people but just the fact that he thinks that makes me ocd think it’s enough that I’ll want to find someone else with the same view as me. I know deep down I don’t want to break up because when I’m not focused on this flaw, I feel happy and in tune with him. Does anyone have any advice ?:(

Can someone help me? I am obsessing over partners job prospects. He’s going to go back to his job in car sales and I feel like I’m being a snob by thinking it’s not prestigious enough. I don’t wanna feel this way, I wanna just be happy with whatever he does. I know I will support him in whatever he chooses to do. I don’t have break up urges but only thoughts that oh his job isn’t prestigious enough and maybe he gets one, I would not be happy and I’d need to confess and then he’ll leave me. I’m on medication but I’m a mess currently and can’t afford therapy. Can someone please tell how to combat this? Do I actually need to confess? Is anyone in a similar boat as me? My bf is the best thing that’s happened to me. I don’t wanna be so caring over a job, I’m from South Asia so my social conditioning is that a job at pffice means a good job. My bf is from America so it’s different. I feel like I’m in a crisis right now and can’t stop crying. Please help.

Recently my bf wanted to confess to a comment he made to his friends that always bothered him that he said this and it was literally within the first week we had met. (It’s sweet that he wanted to apologize for it, he even teared up bc he knew it would hurt my feelings) He told his friends that I was “super pretty but that he also thinks these girls on tiktok are hot” (girls with piercings and dark makeup, basically alt/ goth looking). Then he said “I just think that look is attractive.” He said the only reason he brought it up was bc he was on tiktok when he was talking to his friends (on discord) and a girl popped up on his FYP and made him think what he finds more attractive. Then his friends wanted to see pictures of me and everyone agreed I was pretty. Then like 3 days later he was talking to his friends again (they only ever talk through discord bc they don’t live in the same city) and was basically just raving about me and how pretty I am. Then his friends said “what about the tiktok girls and what you said” and then my bf said “I was trippin”. This is making my ocd so bad bc I kept ruminating if I should add it to the list of reasons why we need to break up or if this was my “sign” to end it. But then I also get reminded of the positive, like when he told me the first time he saw me he thought I was the prettiest girl he’d ever seen, and has even reassured me by showing me messages of him talking to his best friend about me (also the same week of us first talking) and told him that I was “actually perfect” and “INSANELY pretty”. I try not to be upset at him since this was when we barely knew each other and his type back then was more emo/alt girls at the time and I look different. But I have spiraled so much about it bc I don’t want him to settle for me. He’s tried reassuring me so many times that he was always very attracted to me and never thought anyone was prettier than me, he said just in that brief moment that look still caught his eye but that it went away super fast. He also tried explaining to me that “hot” doesn’t mean “better” or even “prettier” just that the look itself is what he used to describe as hot. He said “hot” is also a casual thing to say, especially to guy friends. Whereas to me, hot means the BEST looking. Sometimes I want him to admit that he was just not that attracted to me in the beginning/more attracted to tiktok girls in the beginning bc it makes more sense to me LOL but that’s just me being annoying and I get very bothered when someone tries to sugar coat things rather than telling me the harsh truth. I think this may be another common thing in ocd, like just WANTING him to tell me the worst case scenario bc it’s more logical to me that way. He ends up crying with me bc of how sad he feels that I have such low self esteem from it and also is so frustrated that I won’t believe him, even though he was honest enough to want to share this with me. Sometimes I think he is playing two truths and a lie to make his explanations more believable. Am I making him out to be a villain who always wants to manipulate me or is this just an instinct I have when I feel that someone is not telling me the truth. We’ve had other problems with him not wanting to be brutally honest bc of how I react so it always scares me that he is always telling me a fabricated story. I also am starting to feel embarrassed for myself and for him being with me. I wish someone could just tell me if the things he’s done or said are deal beakers