What's the best way you learned to stop obsessing and ruminating over things going "wrong"? It usually happens when I have a lot of time on my hands. Any realistic or unrealistic, logical or illogical thinking can happen during these times & I'm just reaching out for support. What's the best advice you've ever received, dealing with OCD?
You can’t really make the thoughts stop. But you can keep yourself from acting on them (not that it’s likely for you to do so, when they’re intrusive thoughts). What worked for me, when I was having this problem, was forcing myself to think of something else and also disowning the thoughts - I wasn’t the one who wanted to think about these sorts of things, it was my brain throwing up garbage and that meant it should be given as much respect as a teenager trying to prove how edgy they are by yelling the worst things they can think of. (That is to say, none.) So, when one of those thoughts comes up? “Shut up, Steve” (or whatever you’d like to call your pseudo-edgy imaginary teen) followed by dragging your train of thought back to what you were focusing on before. Don’t linger on the distress or the disgust and self-loathing - that grinds the intrusive thought in deeper, and makes it more likely that they’ll keep reoccurring. Intrusive thoughts are scary, but by denying their existence, we make them stronger. Most people, yourself probably included, don't have very good control of their thoughts. Chances are that you didn't choose to have these thoughts. Therefore, it's not you, it's just your mind playing tricks in you. Like the statement “Don't think about a purple elephant!” Alright, what did you think of? Ive had these intrusive thoughts so I speak from experience. Next time it happens, accept that your mind made that thought and it’s not you. Look at the thought from an impersonal, outside point of view. It's much easier to let them go when you don't take them personally and as a reflection of who you are. Just observe and let them pass. It’s easy to believe that the thoughts we have define who we are: “Well it entered into my brain. It is my brain. So, I must be responsible for the creation of the thought. It’s who I am” This isn’t true. Our thoughts don’t always reflect who we are. Or our values. Our thoughts don’t have to define us. Clients I work with are often relieved to hear this. because it’s easy for us to identify with our thoughts. We have zero control over the thoughts that enter our brains. And you are not responsible for the creation of the sick, bizarre, illegal, crazy junk that pops into your mind. You did not create it. And all that junk that pops up, it’s completely normal. We all do it. We just don’t go around talking about it. If we did, we wouldn’t have any friends. The problem is not the fact that your mind gives you negative thoughts; the problem is that you take your mind so seriously. Just because your mind says something is important does not mean it actually is important. Just because something feels important also does not mean it is important. Thoughts are just thoughts. Thoughts are not facts. Thoughts are not meaningful. The content of your thoughts is not important. What is important is how you treat your mind. If you take everything it says seriously, give it too much respect, and put too much trust in your mind, that is a recipe for an anxiety disorder. Remember, when you treat your mind this way, it doesn't mean your mind will necessarily stop saying things like this. Your mind is going to do what it wants to do; you don't have control over the thoughts that pop into your head. No one actually does. The important thing is not what thoughts you have, it's what you do when you have those thoughts. Even though you can't stop your mind from continuing to give you negative thoughts, that's okay, because thoughts are just thoughts.
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Thank you! This gave me so much clarity. I appreciate your help!
What's a piece of advice you give when someone has constantly intrusive thoughts and ruminations that won't stop? Interested to see what you tell others.....more on this when I see some replies!!!
So I think what's been so specifically tough for me (idk if this is what others go through with the real event stuff) is that ... Well I basically have this mental system... - Something has been dealt with -- which means it's "ok" it's "acceptable" assessment of ___. Rumination to "problem solve" with the intrusive thought. - CONSTANT inquiries to Challenge that previous assessment conclusion i.e. "no that hasn't actually been deal with, you didn't think about ____ or this other angle or this other new thing related to it" etc. Idk how tf you fix that with ERP? Idk up from down at this point Is the "system" OCD? Should people not try to problem solve (even though it's actually rumination)? Should I not engage with the "challenges?" HOW TF does Peace of Mind actually happen when the answers seem to be "you must be delusional" or "you must leave (significant) things un-dealt with / open ended" Like, what's that actual solution here? Hopefully this made sense. Thanks
So, my brain brought up a question that really affected my worldview. I solved the obsession, and gained some good wisdom on that could be useful towards unconditional loving self acceptance. Maybe I was being OCD about recovery, and tried to find logical reasons for why progress is important no matter the outcome when I should've just embraced uncertainty. So now I have an answer to the Obsession. But this obsession took me to a pretty dark place. And I know OCD is just gonna throw and equally Bad one at me if I use this information to my benefit because it will essentially be reinforcing the OCD cycle. "Oh, he got the solution he needed to now I need to throw a new obsession at his way." So what do I do with the wisdom I gained from ruminating here? It's useful and practical information, so I don't want to throw it out. But I can't reinforce the ocd cycle.
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