What's the best way you learned to stop obsessing and ruminating over things going "wrong"? It usually happens when I have a lot of time on my hands. Any realistic or unrealistic, logical or illogical thinking can happen during these times & I'm just reaching out for support. What's the best advice you've ever received, dealing with OCD?
You can’t really make the thoughts stop. But you can keep yourself from acting on them (not that it’s likely for you to do so, when they’re intrusive thoughts). What worked for me, when I was having this problem, was forcing myself to think of something else and also disowning the thoughts - I wasn’t the one who wanted to think about these sorts of things, it was my brain throwing up garbage and that meant it should be given as much respect as a teenager trying to prove how edgy they are by yelling the worst things they can think of. (That is to say, none.) So, when one of those thoughts comes up? “Shut up, Steve” (or whatever you’d like to call your pseudo-edgy imaginary teen) followed by dragging your train of thought back to what you were focusing on before. Don’t linger on the distress or the disgust and self-loathing - that grinds the intrusive thought in deeper, and makes it more likely that they’ll keep reoccurring. Intrusive thoughts are scary, but by denying their existence, we make them stronger. Most people, yourself probably included, don't have very good control of their thoughts. Chances are that you didn't choose to have these thoughts. Therefore, it's not you, it's just your mind playing tricks in you. Like the statement “Don't think about a purple elephant!” Alright, what did you think of? Ive had these intrusive thoughts so I speak from experience. Next time it happens, accept that your mind made that thought and it’s not you. Look at the thought from an impersonal, outside point of view. It's much easier to let them go when you don't take them personally and as a reflection of who you are. Just observe and let them pass. It’s easy to believe that the thoughts we have define who we are: “Well it entered into my brain. It is my brain. So, I must be responsible for the creation of the thought. It’s who I am” This isn’t true. Our thoughts don’t always reflect who we are. Or our values. Our thoughts don’t have to define us. Clients I work with are often relieved to hear this. because it’s easy for us to identify with our thoughts. We have zero control over the thoughts that enter our brains. And you are not responsible for the creation of the sick, bizarre, illegal, crazy junk that pops into your mind. You did not create it. And all that junk that pops up, it’s completely normal. We all do it. We just don’t go around talking about it. If we did, we wouldn’t have any friends. The problem is not the fact that your mind gives you negative thoughts; the problem is that you take your mind so seriously. Just because your mind says something is important does not mean it actually is important. Just because something feels important also does not mean it is important. Thoughts are just thoughts. Thoughts are not facts. Thoughts are not meaningful. The content of your thoughts is not important. What is important is how you treat your mind. If you take everything it says seriously, give it too much respect, and put too much trust in your mind, that is a recipe for an anxiety disorder. Remember, when you treat your mind this way, it doesn't mean your mind will necessarily stop saying things like this. Your mind is going to do what it wants to do; you don't have control over the thoughts that pop into your head. No one actually does. The important thing is not what thoughts you have, it's what you do when you have those thoughts. Even though you can't stop your mind from continuing to give you negative thoughts, that's okay, because thoughts are just thoughts.
@Anonymous These are some different sites I found that really help me remember
Thank you! This gave me so much clarity. I appreciate your help!
So, my brain brought up a question that really affected my worldview. I solved the obsession, and gained some good wisdom on that could be useful towards unconditional loving self acceptance. Maybe I was being OCD about recovery, and tried to find logical reasons for why progress is important no matter the outcome when I should've just embraced uncertainty. So now I have an answer to the Obsession. But this obsession took me to a pretty dark place. And I know OCD is just gonna throw and equally Bad one at me if I use this information to my benefit because it will essentially be reinforcing the OCD cycle. "Oh, he got the solution he needed to now I need to throw a new obsession at his way." So what do I do with the wisdom I gained from ruminating here? It's useful and practical information, so I don't want to throw it out. But I can't reinforce the ocd cycle.
There’s this one situation that I haven’t stopped thinking about from last night . So basically, I was reading 'The power of Now' which is a book that I love so much and really got me into spirituality. It’s been so helpful for my OCD and rumination but it’s also been pretty triggering for it as of late, so I’ve taken a long break from consistently reading it. The excerpt I read was about abundance and how its not about being bountiful, necessarily in material things but realizing and being grateful for the things that exist in your life now and in doing so, you will open yourself up to more good things. I understood it but I re-read it a lot because I didn't feel confident enough to explain it to someone else. but otherwise I LOVED IT. It made me feel so at peace, I agreed with it, and it gave me hope to start focusing on the good things in my life rather than the bad. So when I went to bed I rehearsed myself explaining it to someone on a podcast and then all these questions started flooding in like “why should I only focus on the good and aren't we supposed to accept the good and bad? Aren’t those the values of Buddha and spirituality” “Ya, we're supposed to accept the good and the bad but why?- so we can feel more good??? And isn't the point of OCD to not label things as good and bad? and why should I focus on the good- so I can feel good? why should I feel good? because I'm worthy of it? why am I worthy of it? because I'm a good person and do good things? well I’ve also done bad things so why shouldn't I consider that. I just don’t understand why I should feel good without it being selfish. And then this went on for like 2 or 3 hours. Like holy shit. I over explain these ideas and concepts that I resonate with to the point where they don't even make sense to me anymore. It becomes very existensial very quick. And I’m not suicidal but these questions make me feel hopeless in society for some reason?? And myself. Like if everything contradicts everything then what’s the point to life? If nothing can be understood or explained in a senseful way, then how do people move forward and make decisions, like AT ALL? There’s never a right or perfect answer and I feel like with any decision I make in regards, I’m doing a compulsion either way. If I don’t answer them, then I’m avoiding it and if I do then I’m checking and seeking reassurance. I’m sorry if this was way too long and over-explained I just need some advice or to know if anyone can relate in any way. Also, I’m sorry if some of those back-to-back questions were triggering.
Hi - just for some context, I have OCD and ADHD. I hate bringing this up, but with these diagnoses, when intertwined, there is ALWAYS a thought. I never stop thinking. This is really hard, especially because I feel like I always need to be talking to someone. Whether it’s my friends or family, talking to people brings me down to earth from certain kinds of thought spirals. However, when I’m alone it is the hardest. When my friends don’t reply I have this compulsion to text again or I need to constantly check my notifications so that I have none left to check. But then to them or new people I talk to, this behavior probably comes across as overwhelming or too much. I’m trying to control it and use erp, but also, I have my moments where I’m just vunerable and give into the compulsion. It’s genuinely so embarassing and maybe not as big a deal as I’m making it out to be but, how do I manage? And how do I relax?
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