I just want to feel how I did before this horrible illness. I’ve only ever been attracted to women and turned on by women. I’ve never once been turned on by a man, so why do I have these repetitive thoughts trying to convince me I don’t like women when I do?
It’s like a bully, wherever it finds weakness to cause you anxiety, that’s where it’s going to hit. Stay strong and ride the wave of uncomfortability like a surfer. When you freak it’s when you give it strength
I feel the same, i dont want to say much so it doesn't make your HOCD worse but yeah it sucks
Ah yeah I’ve gotten those. The only difference here is that I’m Bi, but I get regular thoughts telling me that I’m actually only into men/trans women, but that’s a whole other thing with me also questioning my gender so. My only advice (and I’m not an expert this may be the wrong advice to give) is explore how these thoughts make you feel, maybe try something out and you might learn something about yourself. Now whether that be a latent bisexuality or simply that all of these thoughts are OCD, I don’t know, but that’s my advice. Again total newbie to OCD so take what I say with a grain of salt.
@SpencerSimons Absolutely HORRIBLE advice to someone with SO-OCD. No do not “try it out” bc it will make things worse
@SpencerSimons Yeah, this is bad advice HOCD doesn’t mean your attracted to your gender at all, it means you have intrusive thoughts because it’s important to you that you are comfortable with your identity, and ocd attacks this. Acting on these thoughts only makes it worse.
@Anonymous - for some reason, people who are bi have the dumbest things to say, im sorry but its true
@Anonymous Alright my bad
@Anon1223 My bad my bad
@Anonymous Kinda not cool but I see I was wrong my bad, I did say I’m new to OCD so I don’t know what’s best.
@Anonymous This was unnecessary to say, Spencer had no bad intentions, I think just from the perspective from a person new to hocd. No need to be rude we’re all just trying to live here, nothing wrong with bi people
@Anonymous - Excuse me? 🤨
I would like to apologize for my bad advice. No bad intentions from me but it was very clearly not the correct advice (which I did say it could be bad advice in the initial comment). I hope you figure your stuff out 👍
@SpencerSimons You should be careful what you say. I’m so ocd and im scared I’m bisexual instead of straight and this triggered me so bad
@Anonymous Triggered me as well.
@Anonymous I apologize for that, again I’m new to OCD so I didn’t know that this would be a massive thing, especially because I was given similar advice in regards to my gender and said person did not get berated about it so.
@Anonymous Again I apologize that my comment was bad. I didn’t know it would be as I was given similar advice on a previous post and that person didn’t get berated and I’m new to having (or at least, being aware of my OCD) and didn’t know that this would be as massive a deal as it is. I’d appreciate if people could give me a pass on that. I’ve learned my lesson
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
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