I wanna drown

constant voices affirming/praying for my worst fears to happen & cursing god. I have many triggers but the main one is when i scroll on tiktok and I see videos saying you attract what you fear & think of the most. whenever I see those my anxiety rises and the voices get louder

@iluvsatoru My intrusive thoughts are audible voices too when they're at their worst. Have you ever learned any response tools? Are you able to speak with an OCD counselor?

@iluvsatoru I know you don't want to hear this but you have to stop responding to the intrusive thoughts. Just let them be. Don't pray they go away, don't roll on the ground with your head in your hands, don't yell at them to stop... I did all those things. That makes it worse. Try to let them be. Release them and sit with the uneasy feeling. In time it will get better.

@iluvsatoru I'd be happy to try to help you identify some tools that will help you, things I learned in ERP. But you should have a consultation with an OCD specialist if you can

@Someone99 I'm trying erp tools cause I heard its the most effective. it's been a little easier now that I'm trying to avoid compulsions but my anxiety gets rlly bad at times so I have to do compulsions which honestly makes it worse. and yes I think I should see a specialist soon

@Someone99 I'll try even tho it gives me a strong "gut" feeling that the things are happening. I hope i have the strength to bc I don't see a point of living if I'll struggle forever

@iluvsatoru I completely understand how it feels to be where you are. I'm on Lexapro, the generic which i can never remember how to spell. Lol. It definitely helps ease the anxiety. It's challenging at first but you're strong enough to. I'll be here with you through it, you're not alone.

@Someone99 thank you sm 🙁 currently I'm not on medication, but I've been thinking of getting smth that'll help

@iluvsatoru You're welcome. My name's Mike, btw. Fear is always a big part of this. OCD seems to hit us in we value the most too. How long have to been struggling like this?

@iluvsatoru And do you have anyone close, family or friends to talk to about how you're struggling?

@Someone99 right. and my names zara. I've been struggling w different themes my entire life. I convinced myself that I was a horrible person, just insane in general. I have always felt different/strange until I discovered what ocd is

@Someone99 not rlly bc no one in my family or irl friends know what ocd is. I know that if i tell them they'll think im insane and need to be in the psych ward or that I'm possessed so I never told them abt it and I don't plan on doing so

@iluvsatoru Hi Zara, nice to meet you. 🙂 You're among friends here. And if you'd like, I'll give you my email, or I'm also on discord and telegram, that way we can stay in touch easier. I'd be glad to walk with you through this. You're not any of those things OCD is telling you you are.