- Username
- Idk
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Why are you watching those types of videos? You have HOCD, that was not a very bright decision you made. You should watch those at the end of ERP therapy.
Are you asking me if I experienced the same things as you? Or are you asking me if your symptoms are normal for OCD? To the first, yes I have. To the second, I think this is a reassurance question. However I will say I’ve had very similar or the same things as you have.
I’ve been taking ERP for two months. I took a YBOCS test (a test to scale severity) I originally scored a very high 42 out of 50. I retook it Monday, I scored a 22 out of 50. I cut my severity level in half. I still have bad days, but not as bad as it was before. I’m not as anxious, I can finally start living my life as a 16 year old should do. I STRONGLY encourage you to do ERP. I have HOCD and am on the road to recovery. And so can you.
Most people think I’m much older by my maturity and speech. But no, I’m just a homeschooled 16 year old. Oh and one more thing, if you have an Instagram feel free to message me anytime. I’m the_reptile_cyka_2 on Instagram. If you have questions and such feel free to ask!
I did something similar yesterday. I watched a video of a female YouTube I used to watch doing like a q&a with her girlfriend and I was doing fine until she was asked about her coming out story and then I started to feel really anxious. I turned the video off and just felt so nervous and sick and convinced I was gay. I was going to post about it here but I didn’t. After a few minutes I calmed down and the anxiety went away and I felt better. But then I had anxiety about that - ‘if my anxiety has calmed down after watching that, did I just accept that I’m gay? Shouldn’t I still be panicking? Oh my god I think I’ve just accepted it’. This morning I still feel very anxious from last night unfortunately.
I don’t know I was watching it just for entertainment but then they suddenly said those things and triggered me. I don’t do erp, but after that I tried to see it as such. Saying “ok ok, maybe you are maybe you aren’t it’s ok” but still I panicked.
Here’s what you should do in my opinion. Skip over videos like that until you decide to do ERP, I highly recommend it. Saying “maybe I am, maybe I’m not” is to reverse compulsions typically. Like if you say mentally “I’m not gay” then you’d say “maybe I am maybe I’m not”. I’m doing ERP and it worked wonders for me. Please consider it.
One thing I did myself was looking at pictures of girls and rating them like I’ve seen some people say about erp. And then rated the kissablity but I just said I wouldn’t kiss them at all. But ofc I had to imagine it and suddenly I was aroused or it felt like I could do it and I would like it and I freaked out.
When doing that, saying “I wouldn’t do that” is a compulsion. I’m guilty of this myself. To reverse it, say “I might do that, or I might not”. It’s hard to say to yourself, but it’s better than doing a compulsion.
Okay thank you, do you think the whole imaging thing and feeling that is normal with ocd? Or have you like been through it
Okay thank you, how have you been doing with this? You’re improving with erp?
You’re 16! Idk why I thought you’d be older but I’m so happy to hear you’re doing better! Thanks for the advice.
trigger warning maybe so idk who knows andrea russett but she’s a youtuber and she just posted a video coming out saying she’s bisexual and it triggered me soooo much. like i’m so scared that i am when i literally have never felt attraction to a girl at all like that. any time i think a girl is pretty i automatically jump to that conclusion now. and i always have to check and look at her butt to see if i’m attracted to it. like social media makes it all worse too. i almost do it out of habit now which makes me hate myself for it bc i’m mistaking it w attraction but when i try to tell myself it’s just ocd my brain tries to twist it into thinking that i’m actually bi!!! it just sucks and i’m so stressed about it
i’m watching a youtube video on being bisexual and i’m freaking out omg. this is giving me so much anxiety. she’s saying stuff like “yea i never wanted to kiss a girl or have a relationship with a girl; i just always thought they were pretty” , “for all my life i was attracted to guys and always wanted a boyfriend” and stuff like that. i’m freaking out so much because it sounds A LOT like me. i’ve never seen a girl in that way until my HOCD hit and i’ve ALWAYS loved guys from the time i was little. now i’m doubting everything again. so many things are going on in my mind rn and i’m so confused
Just did a big exposure and watched a lot of “ I thought I was straight until x” videos of women in hetero relationships realizing they were lesbians in their 20s and 30s and I’m so scared and uncertain. I feel like I would actually be insane to have made up all the feelings I have felt for men consistently over the years, and I’m simultaneously afraid I’m bi and just don’t know/can’t figure it out. Today is hard and a day when I feel like I don’t have ocd and I might just be lying.
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