- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Why are you watching those types of videos? You have HOCD, that was not a very bright decision you made. You should watch those at the end of ERP therapy.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Are you asking me if I experienced the same things as you? Or are you asking me if your symptoms are normal for OCD? To the first, yes I have. To the second, I think this is a reassurance question. However I will say I’ve had very similar or the same things as you have.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’ve been taking ERP for two months. I took a YBOCS test (a test to scale severity) I originally scored a very high 42 out of 50. I retook it Monday, I scored a 22 out of 50. I cut my severity level in half. I still have bad days, but not as bad as it was before. I’m not as anxious, I can finally start living my life as a 16 year old should do. I STRONGLY encourage you to do ERP. I have HOCD and am on the road to recovery. And so can you.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Most people think I’m much older by my maturity and speech. But no, I’m just a homeschooled 16 year old. Oh and one more thing, if you have an Instagram feel free to message me anytime. I’m the_reptile_cyka_2 on Instagram. If you have questions and such feel free to ask!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I did something similar yesterday. I watched a video of a female YouTube I used to watch doing like a q&a with her girlfriend and I was doing fine until she was asked about her coming out story and then I started to feel really anxious. I turned the video off and just felt so nervous and sick and convinced I was gay. I was going to post about it here but I didn’t. After a few minutes I calmed down and the anxiety went away and I felt better. But then I had anxiety about that - ‘if my anxiety has calmed down after watching that, did I just accept that I’m gay? Shouldn’t I still be panicking? Oh my god I think I’ve just accepted it’. This morning I still feel very anxious from last night unfortunately.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I don’t know I was watching it just for entertainment but then they suddenly said those things and triggered me. I don’t do erp, but after that I tried to see it as such. Saying “ok ok, maybe you are maybe you aren’t it’s ok” but still I panicked.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Here’s what you should do in my opinion. Skip over videos like that until you decide to do ERP, I highly recommend it. Saying “maybe I am, maybe I’m not” is to reverse compulsions typically. Like if you say mentally “I’m not gay” then you’d say “maybe I am maybe I’m not”. I’m doing ERP and it worked wonders for me. Please consider it.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
One thing I did myself was looking at pictures of girls and rating them like I’ve seen some people say about erp. And then rated the kissablity but I just said I wouldn’t kiss them at all. But ofc I had to imagine it and suddenly I was aroused or it felt like I could do it and I would like it and I freaked out.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
When doing that, saying “I wouldn’t do that” is a compulsion. I’m guilty of this myself. To reverse it, say “I might do that, or I might not”. It’s hard to say to yourself, but it’s better than doing a compulsion.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Okay thank you, do you think the whole imaging thing and feeling that is normal with ocd? Or have you like been through it
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Okay thank you, how have you been doing with this? You’re improving with erp?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
You’re 16! Idk why I thought you’d be older but I’m so happy to hear you’re doing better! Thanks for the advice.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w ago
Pocd feels real again and I can’t tell if I’m actually attracted or not. can’t believe it got this bad again. I used to be able to go “no I don’t like that, go away” and now it feels like I do like it and want it, and it’s starting to linger longer so it feels more real. I’m avoiding checking but I’m so scared that what if it’s true. Is it because I have not been doing my exposures? I’m not sure, but every time a 14 year old person comes to my head, I keep hearing something go “they’re attractive” and it sounds like me so I panic, and it makes me even more scared because I’m not feeling bad about it??? I saw some kid at Walmart that had long black hair and my brain kept saying shit and no matter how much I say I don’t feel that way, it won’t shut up, i want to check 1000 times to make sure. But I know it’s not worth it. I’m trying so hard
- Date posted
- 15w ago
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that I’m bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but that’s cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who haven’t spoken in a few years now and I’m over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh that’s life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now I’m mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, I’ve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now I’m just slightly nauseous and worried that I don’t like men as much as I like women but I think that’s normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now I’m nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and it’s always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if it’s a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? I’m nervous now. I was doing half decently today now I’m nauseous again. I’m worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I don’t like the ones my bf and I have and that I just don’t like him or men cuz I’ve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk what’s wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesn’t erase that I love my bf. I’m worried I’m leaning too much towards women tho and I’m a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if I’m just a lesbian entirely cuz I don’t feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe that’s cuz I’m checking and comparing. Now I’m anxious fuck. I’m trying not to think about her idk why. I’m worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. She’s in my city. I didn’t care before but now I do. Or if I think about her I’ll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasn’t felt right lately cuz I’ve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasn’t obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didn’t feel passionate. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but I thought it’d be more? Idk. I know it’s normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isn’t very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didn’t feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but we’ve been having sex since august so that’s normal. Idk. I haven’t been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that I’m bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I don’t want to rn cuz I’m dating a man. And I can’t fantasize about sex with him cuz I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz it’s been a while but I’m not going to. I’ve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when I’m mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying “Oo you think all these women are so hot you’re gonna go feral blah blah blah” and yes women are hot but I don’t wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesn’t bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying I’m a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know it’s not true. I love him I know that. I’d be happy if we stayed together. I wouldn’t regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if it’s not like porn or the movies. As long as I’m being pleasured and he’s being pleasured we’re good. That’s what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I don’t feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore I’m gay. No I just don’t feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
- Students with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- OCD newbies
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 11w ago
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
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