Feeling Alone

Thank you so very much for replying. I struggle lots of types of but with harm and pocd being especially hard, fear of abandonment. I've been doing great for a while. But sometimes has trioit and my mind is just constantly racing from one thought to the next. I keep using my tools but it just goes to a new one instead of stopping. My kids wanted to split their time between me and their Dad, but since he doesn't live close that meant them moving there for their time. It's been hard not having them here and now they came to visit for Christmas so lots of new things happening and I'm not in my normal routine. I miss having someone to talk to about it. I don't have anyone I'm close enough with to share all the details. I worry that because of my fears I will never be able to get close to someone again and that makes me really sad

@stoprunning Those are a lot of heavy feelings to be carrying, I’m sorry. Especially at this time of year, which seems to make difficult feelings even stronger. Being out of a routine when you have ocd is really hard too. I’m in a similar boat of my mind racing a lot lately, and having tools but the tools don’t always feel as effective. Do you have anyone you feel safe opening up to, even if you don’t go into full detail? Maybe just to say “I’m struggling, and I don’t want to go into details, but I could use a shoulder?” Or can you try going out to meet someone for coffee? Sometimes small human interactions can help cut the loneliness of isolation down. I hope you remember too that these feelings will pass, they’re only temporary. I don’t mean that in a way to invalidate you, but your mind will stop racing and you won’t feel so exhausted.

I hate that it is so much worse in the morning. I notice that it particularly worse when I first wake up or about to go to bed.

@stoprunning What helps me when I lean on my friend is asking if they have the mental space for me to vent, or discuss what’s on my mind. That way I can talk to them and also see if they’re too stressed to listen. This may help you communicate too, so you worry less about feeling like you’re bothering them. I think it’s especially hard not to overthink with OCD or to not feel like a burden. I don’t know anyone who has ocd, so my friends don’t always fully understand, but it helps to feel less isolated