do y’all ever feel like this MUST be real? like it FEELS real. i got an intrusive urge to kiss a female on the shoulder. ruminating did not help me to get rid of that feeling. it feels like i want it. but i do not want to want it. i’ve been dealing with this subtype for almost a year now and it gets worse day by day.
I know that feeling, i dont like those kinds of thoughts with men. Recently i have thoughts that screams at me saying like "i am attracted to men or i have feelings for men or i like men" even thou i dont. It drives me nuts to the point i find myself pausing or staying still to organize my thoughts or trying to fix my thoughts or even debating with my thoughts
@HelpMeHealPlease i feel that! i also got to the point i really need so stay still to just think. i cannot talk, watch a show, cook, do ANYTHING except for staying still and thinking. it takes up so much time 😔
@e.hkp Exactly and you cant even do anything about it. The intrusive thought just pops up in your head. I dont know how many times i've googled "the difference between fantasy and intrusive thoughts" or even "how to know if im gay or not". I have learned not to care anymore about those thoughts and lately it doesnt give me much anxiety as before. But when im starting to feel good and sure about myself the intrusive thought pops up again and since i dont feel that much anxiety anymore i started to think that maybe i like it since since when the thought pops up more and my more i dont have any reaction to it.
@HelpMeHealPlease i’ve just read a post about that exact trick of ocd today! when in recovery ocd loves to trick you into feeling like not having much anxiety means you like your thoughts / they are real. but it just a trick ocd plays on us :)
@e.hkp I know ive watched that video also, but its so hard to do. I know that its a trick but it still feel so real. I dont know how many times in a day that i thought to my self that "maybe i am gay" or "maybe i really attracted to men". Then after a few seconds and a full minute i start all over again. Giving myself facts about myself or even playing memories in my mind that tells myself that i am 100% a straight man. Hahahaha its very tiring
@HelpMeHealPlease i can relate to all of this! sometimes the thoughts and urges feel so freaking real, and sometimes i am so sure that i am straight. both can literally happen within 5 minutes. it really is so tiring to the point that i am just SO sad to have to go through this, also while so many other people don’t doubt basic characteristics of their person.
@e.hkp I am not thankful that you have this but knowing this i feel atleast a bit better knowing that there are people out there who knows what im going thru right now. I hope and pray that this new year, 2024, will look back at this memory and can laugh it off
@e.hkp Are you talking about me ? Literally the same
@e.hkp Mine are more feelings
@HelpMeHealPlease i hope and pray so too, for all of us! 😔
@star1232 so you mean, you also experience a lot of intrusive feelings?
@e.hkp A lot of intrusive urges and feelings and weird feelings and all they feel real , i dont know who im anymore
@star1232 i feel just like that! no idea who i am and what i want in life
@e.hkp The worst thing is that i plan to propse to my girlfriend but since all these thought and doubts started to pop up im scared and nervous that maybe in the future i might discover that i really end up gay and will hurt my girlfriend
@e.hkp I have groinals to every one even children
@HelpMeHealPlease that must be so frustrating! face the fear and do what you value :)
hey, so i’ve had these insane thoughts about like, this dude. and i assumed it’s intrusive feelings, but it also has happened w the fact o think i like girls? but i don’t? like, i get the gronal response, and everything, and like, it sometimes feels like i actually like them, but it always makes me sick? same way w the false attraction guy, and it even started happening w my bsf of like 9 years? and it’ll tell me the most insane things like “maybe u are attracted” “maybe if u got w them the thoughts will stop” someone please help.
Suddenly I started ruminating again but I no longer get bad anxiety over the thoughts but it feels like the ‘urges’ are still there and it’s making it seem more real that these are true. Why am I having urges without the anxiety or it’s weird like i don’t even know when im anxious maybe i got use to the feeling of being anxious but it feels too real and I get these weird thought that are like ‘imagine you was evil anyways’ or ‘imagine you want to be but your in denial’ or the worst makes it feel like you would like acting on the thoughts even if you choose not to do it and it feels really real. The thoughts are about stabbing and it felt so real and I started imaging it on purpose to ‘test’ myself but it doesn’t ever feel like I hate it enough or don’t want it like I feel numb to everything and it feels really real like I want it or do want to do it but I’m just choosing not to and it’s scary but I use to get so much anxiety over this and now nothing now it feels like I don’t even feel like I ‘hate’ it or I should know that I don’t want to do that? Instead of sitting there experimenting with the thoughts to see. I want it to feel like I don’t want it and don’t like it I constantly feel like I’m lying about not wanting this, but it’s concerning me a lot because it feels so real that I like it or want it and there was one point where it felt like it was about to happen and that I wanted it and now that’s made me think there is something wrong with me or that I want to give in to it 🙁 please I don’t belive anything I don’t even belive I am sad it feels so real that it was about to happen or I wanted it and I don’t know what to do I was fine before and suddenly I started ruminating and now this
what the hell? this entire day ive been trying to do ERP right? allowing the thoughts feelings, sensations be there with very little reaction, saying"oh that's a thought", "that's a feeling" don't care" etc. But it seems to be making it 100x times worse. Like its impossible to just"ignore" it, it feels so freaking real as if this was the truth, the doubts are real, the false attraction feelings and lip sensations are REAL and genuine attraction, feels ego-synotic, its impossible just to ignore or move on from it because I think I'm so hyperfocused on it all so it last the whole day. IDK right now it feels and seems as if I lost? like its not a what if but it feels factual like"I'm naturally gay, I'm gay" and it feels like normal and become ok with that. But I don't want that I don't want to be gay.
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