- Username
- Anonymous
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Gavsherry I ended up cancelling my wedding last year because of ROCD. It did not help the anxiety; in fact, it kind of make it worse. You know what did help the ROCD? We got married a month ago and it’s wonderful. Maybe I made the wrong decision, but I made a choice and that’s enough for each day. Don’t let your fear and indecision try to live your life for you. You can choose what it is that you want. Sometimes you will make the wrong choice, and that’s ok too.
Sorry you’re Going through this. I’ve had it on and off for 20 years. I still got married and had a child and I’m very very happy but it sneaks up on what we care about / fear most
Yes it is, follow your gut / heart don’t let fear make your decisions for you!
I know the feeling. Check out Sheryl Paul’s work. She does a lot with relationship anxiety and it was helpful for me.
It’s awful isn’t t were due to eat married next year and I get all excited when I think about it and then I’ll get a sinking feeling of guilt and stuff that I’m lying to myself etc so confusing and I’ll get spiked to the max if I find someone Else attractive like I’ve cheated something I’d never ever do thanks for the reply it’s a little comforting knowing I’m not alone with it although I’d rather e Han others to suffer like this it’s hell In the mind at times
Puppychino thank u so much for that I don’t want to be without her I just want us to be happy etc I know nothing is guaranteed in life but I know what we have is fantastic I just feel I’m losing my grip on it and I can’t take my finger of the self destruct button if that makes sense thanks again for the reply I won’t give up just wish the anxiety/thoughts/negative feelings would piss off excuse my language
Thanks will check it out.
Hi all, I just joined this app today after finding its recommendation on reddit so bear with me. The past three weeks of my life has been a living hell. Out of nowhere, I started obsessing about if I need to leave my partner. So let me just say, I love my partner so much, we’ve been together for 1.5 years. The thoughts about leaving him are eating me up and pulling me apart. For three weeks straight now from the second I wake up to the second I fall asleep, all I can think about is how I feel like I have to break up with my boyfriend even though I don’t want to. Nothings changed in our relationship but these thoughts have sent me into a spiral. I’ll spend hours reading articles about staying together and breaking up, having multiple crying meltdowns a day about the thought of losing him and that I don’t love him anymore, and feel like I can’t make this anxiety go away unless we break up (AND I DONT WANT TO AT ALL.) This has given my physical symptoms of nausea, chest ache, stomach issues, and mental symptoms of a pit in my stomach, constant feeling of dread, obsessive thoughts that I can’t stop thinking, and the guilt is unimaginable. I love him and I can’t imagine being with someone else. I don’t know what to do anymore. Is this ROCD or am I a bad partner?
I should start by saying I have never been diagnosed with OCD or any mental disorder, but I’ve been researching ROCD per my girlfriend’s suggestion on and off for 6+ months now, and all of the symptoms and descriptions have hit home for me. However, I worry that I’m using ROCD as an excuse for continuously convincing myself she’s enough for me. The core of my fears is finding others attractive, and more attractive, than her — when I see a cute girl, or someone with features I naturally desire, my ruminations/episodes begin. After that it doesn’t take long to lead to doubting the validity of the entire relationship, and whether I even love her at all or want to be with her. It doesn’t help that we go to a university, so I’m inevitably surrounded by attractive people constantly. My main fear is that I’m settling for her appearance, even though I’m attracted to her and, truth is, I think she is hotter than me. And I feel like I tell myself that the only thing wrong with her is her appearance, because she is everything I want otherwise (personality, compatibility), but she’s just not my physical type. Every time that these fears and doubts build up from rumination, we talk about it. The end factor is that it almost always ends up being a result of intrusive thoughts. In fact, the last time we talked about this (about two weeks ago), we had makeup sex and I had an intrusive thought of a particular girl that’s in one of my classes. I did everything I could to purge this thought so I could enjoy the moment, and eventually it subsided — but I found myself “checking” by opening my eyes and staring at her throughout for reassurance that it’s her I want. I then told her about it right afterwards because of the massive guilt I felt, and she was a bit less understanding (rightfully..). We’re now at a breaking point, where she loves me and I’m pretty sure I love her, but I’m still having these doubts and I don’t know what to do to deal with them. I am convincing myself that they are significant and important because of their consistency now that it has been 8 months of us dating. I have told her I need time to think about this and figure out what I want, and I know this is destroying her, so I need to decide to break up or not now, because I can’t stand knowing she’s going through this. At what point am I just fighting this “gut feeling” because I know I’m settling, or is it just ROCD lying to me because she is so important to me?
Please does anyone else have the same thoughts and feelings as I do who suffer with ROCD (bearing in mind I love my boyfriend, he’s the kindest most loving boy and I love him with all my heart) we spend all day laughing with eachother! I’m constantly like: You don’t love him, this isn’t right with him, you’re horrible for stringing him along, break up with him, break up with him, did you ever actually love him, you’re probably a lesbian, you don’t find him attractive, there’s nothing between you two Then in other moments when I’m not feeling this I literally could cry with how amazing he is! 😢🙈
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