Ocd feels real?

I know God used many who did wrong things, David did bad things too. But i really struggle with this that it hurts to accept when i have these thoughts that its my fault, cause im sinful. It makes me feel so much guilt and i dont like it. Just today i went to church and i wanted to straghten myself but instead the thoughts attacked me and i felt anger towards people, i was constantly judging and i hated it. I just see someone and suddenly i had judgement about them but then i felt bad but it felt like its genuine. Im really steuggling cause what i said i dont want to accept that these thoughts comes from me or that its because of some problem that i have feelings of hate and like i start to turn from God, and i feel like im there where i was in the past that i feel anger towards God, but i dont like it. It helps sometimes if i say its not me, its ocd but then offcourse i feel guilt cause i try to blame to ocd... Idk i feel tired of this,constantly work on my thoughts,why do i have hateful reactions to God or thinking about God, its just makes me feel bad thinking its actually a real problem, its just doesnt help. This made me feel so bad today, i almost became depressed. Im really tired of trying to see why do i judge God now or people who believe, why do i feel angry when i hear about God, even if i do i come up with answers but those make me feel bad about myself. This seems like its ocd but if i say that its ocd, i feel even worse cause who am i that i can be sinful, I can be angry at God? It feels like i try to avoid accept my sin which also makes me feel guilt... Idk what is the problem, i asked God about this, what is the problem, is it ocd or am i really have a problem with Him, am I really losing my faith...

@PRIV8 - I would love to send you a copy of my book - I think there is a chapter you would greatly benefit from. Please send me your address and I'll put it in the mail. My email is WagingWarAgainstOCD@gmail.com

@PRIV8 - But for now - I have a few thoughts I hope will be helpful. 1 - There are 2 kinds of sorrow. Godly sorrow and worldly sorrow. )“Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” (2 Corinthians 7:10)) There is a verse that says that the KINDNESS of God leads us to repentance. It does not sound like the thoughts you are having are from a kind God, so I would say they should be ignored. Here is a snippet from my book about this: When comparing patience with the fruit OCD leaves behind, the contrast is obvious. OCD’s middle name is literally “Compulsive.” Compulsive actions are never based in patience. They demand to be done immediately. When God called me to the freshmen dorm, He took weeks to patiently change my heart to actually desire the move. He did not say, “Fill out your application to move to that disgusting dorm this very second or everyone living there will go to hell!” That would have been impatient and would have caused me to be impatient about my decision as well. When a thought pressures you into doing something immediately and is full of the fear of consequences, condemnation and guilt, you should confidently attribute it to OCD. Our God is patient; OCD is not. The contrast is stunning. Second - We still live with the sinful nature. Romans 7 is an excellent example of this. We will always struggle with the sinful nature while we are on this earth....lust, arrogance, greed, etc will still try to find a way to win our hearts. Being bothered by those thoughts is a sign you are a Christian, b/c if you weren't one there would be nothing opposing those thoughts. Third - We have to understand God's grace. EVEN IF you are being as judgmental as you fear you are being, God will forgive that sin over and over for the rest of your life.