Really struggling. Dr I saw this week told me I’m overweight based on BMI and need to lose weight. I’ve been in ED recovery for years and have just started feeling better about my relationship with food and exercise. One thing my ocd sticks to is weight and body image. So hearing someone confirm my worst fears — it was horrible. I feel so lost and afraid.
BMI can be sketchy about overweight or obese vs. “healthy” because it does NOT take into account muscle. Muscle is heavier than fat. Based solely on BMI, my weightlifter husband is obese (definitely not). Did the doctor go into details or just said that and moved on? Which isn’t professional of them to do but ehhh, doctors… not doing their best lately.
@Nica That’s all she said, besides making the comment “too many cupcakes huh?” and handing me a sheet about portion control. If she had asked me a single question about my nutrition or eating habits I would have happily told her I eat lots of fruits and veggies and exercise everyday. But she didn’t ask, I know it was wrong of her but it’s still messing with me so bad.
@zortnorp So damn rude 🙄 Doctors wonder why people aren’t going to them for help and going after alternative routes. Ohh, I wonder why? I’d honestly find a new doctor if you can. Lifting weights at least twice a week and doing light cardio every other day is good. Might have to cut out a fruit but fruit is 100% preferable to other sweets. I get my sugar fix on mangoes, peaches, and dragonfruit.
@Nica Definitely never seeing her again. I do strength training 2x/wk and run 2-3x/wk and do dance as well. I’m exercising a lot more now than I did when I was “skinny”. She just assumed I was unhealthy because my BMI was in the overweight category, and it’s getting in my head and my ocd is totally grabbing onto it like see! You are! You need to lose weight!!!
@zortnorp She’s silly! Don’t let her ridiculousness get to you/your OCD. You got this ❤️
I felt similar when I was told I had pre diabetes (I did change my “lifestyle” for the record but looking back I didn’t really need to as much as I did) I had eating disorders in the past and yeah hearing that from a doctor was an all time low I do know fat-phobia is a part of medical school sadly So unless you were told something like “you are going to have an actual heart attack if you don’t change your habits” or like given 3 years to live, BMI or over vs under weight started when a guy took the average weight of the population and decided anything above or below that was abnormal. IT IS ALL A LIE. However you cannot think your way out of rumination I also want to congratulate you on trying to achieve a better relationship with food and exercise 🫶 I hope I get there too
@Don’tLoveDrama-itLovesMe This was super helpful to hear thank you. As someone who has worked so hard toward body neutrality and establishing healthy habits over focusing on weight, I know logically what she said is wrong. But man has it messed me up.
@zortnorp I believe in intrinsic value And that pride and shame govern our ego But humbleness is a healer from that and I think it is of course being selfless, BUT mainly UNCONDITIONAL SELF LOVE Unconditional means no conditions aka don’t love yourself more when you do something “good” and don’t love yourself less when you do something “bad” and especially don’t measure your worth in something as vain as looks or weight Throughout time and place beauty standards have been vastly different Some places liked fat and body hair Some places the opposite The point is, every person’s body/aesthetic is quite LITERALLY timeless🫶 Including your’s.
I feel ya I have a set number that if I pass 130 I’ll be fat.
@Cloth I’m sorry you have to worry about that ❤️. That was my partner’s “number” for a long time, too, though I’m not sure why. I understand mentally and emotionally, just not sure what happened to make that her line in the sand. Unfortunately it dropped to lower and lower numbers over the last year or so with stress. She moved recently and I hope she’s okay…😞 I’ve struggled with my sense of image and weight most of my life, too. Weight can change by several pounds for a lot of reasons - how hydrated you are, humidity and temperature or an angle in the floor affecting the pressure sensors in the scale, time of day, even where you are on the planet or how high you are from sea level. And a lot more tiny things can add up to a difference. And everything mentioned about why BMI isn’t accurate applies to weight as a measurement, too. I wish we hadn’t been trained to care about it because it’s just so inaccurate. A person’s body can even be structured differently even a few months apart, even as an adult, especially in the modern world.
@Cloth I hear you. I am well above that number and I still worry about weight gain all the time. My body image was still terrible even when I was 130. It’s a tough thing :/ trying to accept my body at 165 instead of trying to change it all the time.
@oldin I’ve heard 130 a lot as “the number” for women. I’ve seen posts online of men (and some women) saying that any woman above this weight should not wear a bikini, shorts, etc. My number used to be 120. I only got close to that at the height of anorexia. Hardest part of recovery is accepting the weight gain. I’ve been in recovery for years and I’m still not there. This interaction has made me more focused on weight loss than ever, even though it’s probably not a good idea for me. OCD heightens all of this. Thank you for sharing your partners story and I hope she is well.
Like others have said, BMI is not a very scientific way of analysis. Besides the inaccuracy, the skew for a way-too-small demographic, and the imprecision, it doesn’t take into account muscle mass, bone mass, cartilaginous structures, water weight (which fluctuates based on the past 48h via activity, food intake, food content, and electrolytes on a cellular level), time of day, and genetics (eg where and how lipids are stored in your body and much more). I know this doesn’t stop the fear or the feelings you may have, but I hope this information helps a little in the fight against them.
@oldin Also, your doctor is rude as hell. A joke like that makes me question whether they really know what they are doing - which should be to care about your wellbeing, not to give an unhelpful unscientific opinion that will affect you indefinitely after you walk out the door. (Sorry if that’s off the mark, I had a bad experience with my doctor this week too. Education and experience sadly do not always add up to knowledge or wisdom.)
@oldin Thank you for the info and reassurance ♥️ it’s crazy because I know logically BMI is terrible and not accurate for most people, but it still stung so bad to be told I’m overweight by that stupid standard. I’m sorry to hear you had a bad experience with a doctor too. These are the people who are supposed to be helping and supporting us.
@zortnorp My pleasure ❤️ and thank you for your kind words. That’s the worst part about OCD, isn’t it? Knowing logically a lot or all of the time that something shouldn’t hurt or feel the way it does, but feeling it just as strong or worse anyway. Though to be honest weight I often wonder if weight is one of the hardest ones to deal with, because there’s so much advertisement everywhere about it - and all ads sell a solution, and so the “problem” is very often presented as the viewer’s body.
i'm so sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time, especially after making strides in your ED recovery. it's incredibly hard when something like this shakes the progress you've been feeling in your relationship with food and exercise. you're strong for reaching out and sharing your struggle. 💪 by the way, have you heard about this new ai-powered ocd therapy tool called 'unstuck'? i've been in your shoes, and what really helped me was this free ai ocd therapy tool called "unstuck" (unstuckmyocd.com/try) that my nocd therapist recommended. i think it'll be especially helpful for you because it gives personalized support that's so crucial when dealing with intense body image focus. it's like having an ocd therapist in your pocket when you need it the most. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have qs or just want to talk more! <3
Does anyone struggle with their ocd when it comes to weight and exercise? I feel like I’m getting too obsessed with it and getting in the mindset of having a negative body image
Content note: disordered eating Seeking advice I've gained some weight during the lockdown and it's causing me considerable distress. Food and weight are on my mind all the time and I've started obsessively counting calories and weighing myself. I know this is a really dangerous slope but don't really know how to deal with this theme. I'm really distressed about how out of control I am of my own body. Any advice on stopping this in its tracks would be greatly appreciated ?
every once in a while my body image issues flare up & it can get intense. i obsess over the feeling I have in my clothes to check if I’ve gained weight, think of food, and have this perception that everyone sees me in a certain light I don’t want to see. i really can beat myself up with negative self talk. i haven’t realized until today since body image issues are so common that this could be my ocd. i used to engage in highly restrictive behavior when it came to food—I eliminated any white carbs, dairy, meat, etc & would do intermittent fasting. it’s hard not to fall into this obsession. I gained a few pounds over the last couple of months and it makes me feel anxious for the summer. anyone have a similar experience? x
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