I’m so jealous of people without POCD. I’ve always wanted to be a mother and I would be an amazing one, but it would be mental torture for me with POCD, to the point where I wonder if I should be one at all. I hate this.
This just made me cry. I feel the same way, I used to think about being a mom. I want to be as good as a mom that mine was to my sister and I and it really hurts that I feel like I don’t think I will ever have that. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I don’t have any advice to give unfortunately, but you’re so strong. You are not this. Hold onto hope that one day things will be better.
I completely understand this it feels like a dream of mine isn’t obtainable anymore. But i think things will get better. Im here for anyone of you guys who are struggling with this too.
You should 🩷 don’t let OCD get in the way of you living the life you want to live. I know it’s hard and it hurts right now, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you will get there. No matter what kind of thoughts you have, they aren’t a reflection of you or your beliefs. You’ll get through this, keep going.
I was literally about to post about this earlier… I used to dream of being a mum. My head won’t even let me imagine it anymore
Hugs. Solidarity here. I'm a therapist myself and I am doing a lot better so please know there is hope. I have flare ups from time to time but it gets better.
I had POCD many years ago now I have 3 kids and no POCD
Please read this. I’ve had ocd pretty much a lot of my life but never knew what it was until my senior year of highschool. I’m 21 with 2 kids and i believe i’ve had pocd a little bit before my daughter was born (which was 8 months ago). It made me start looking at all kids differently and i hate it. But it really started triggering me about 3 months ago. I’ve been thinking if i’d intentionally touched or harmed my kids the wrong way, or any kids for that matter. This started giving me false memories (or at least hope they are). I’ve been having panic attacks, yelling at myself, punching walls, praying, and even thoughts of ending my own life. I grew up in a severe toxic household throughout my childhood and teenage life. I’ve never wished that on my kids since i became a dad. I wanna give them the life i never got. I look back my photos of my children and i feel like i’m a complete fraud of a dad. I cannot look at my kids or be around them a lot of times. I can’t hold my daughter right. I can’t change their diaper when they need it. Even my son came and was hugging on me the other night while i was watching tv and i acted like a stranger to him. I can very little do this stuff sometimes because it’s either i get relief or i push my thoughts as far back as i can. I get scared if i did something to not just my kids, but any other kids in the past. I have such a a great life and such a beautiful family. It was hard and stressful at first being young with a family but i couldn’t be more thankful at all for them. I’m just so lost and stressed right now that i just don’t know what to do anymore
Please read and comment kindly. Really looking for support. My child was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt them that I might as well do something else because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it and causing another feeling (I literally had to question what to do during this and the only thing I could come up with was to move my elbow towards her groin area) but it came across my mind to elbow my child, and I elbowed their crotch or side area. Which caused another unwanted groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out and asked my child to move. Then I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be theirs anymore. Idk what overcame me, and in the moment, it felt like I wanted to move my elbow, but I know that can also be my OCD speaking. Right? I clearly regret it all and hate myself. I would never intentionally hurt my child; I don't know what happened in my head when this happened. I was doing SO well! Is this my POCD that I've been diagnosed with by my OCD specialized therapist? Just a struggling mom who used to be the best of the best. I'm very depressed by this. Idk what to do with myself. I live in regret now, and I just wish it would've never ever happened. I can't stop ruminating and being depressed thinking I don't deserve anything.
Hey friends. I hope you all are doing good today. Just struggling mentally myself. Feel like a terrible mother, but I want another baby. My OCD has gotten better despite the terrible episode I had that I seem to not get over. I hope someone comments that could just give me some support with POCD
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