Anyone else feel like their brain starts to tell them they’d be happier if they were gay or trans? Like it feels that way and you feel like you’re living a lie or something is wrong. It feels like my thoughts have shifted to that making it hard to see if this is real or not.
I really can relate, i dont know now which is real which is not
@star1232 Yeah it makes me wonder if I forced myself to be me so hard that I suppressed something or they’re just thoughts. Idk
@star1232 Do you also experience real arousal? Not just groinals but actual arousal, from mental tests or looking at even just normal videos
@Anonymous I can say for me it’s increased with time
@Mtikk2019 I get this thought too and it freaks me out. I genuinely don’t want to be with a woman and then I saw another post on NOCD that had another word and it triggered me so much. I did so much mental checking and it backfired on me leading me to more confusion.
@yessyess Yeah that’s pretty much how how I feel
@Mtikk2019 Yep same
@yessyess So when you do the mental test sing of a scenario, does it look good and like something u want to do? Rather than reducing anxiety it increases it more.
@Anonymous It doesn’t feel good, of course there’s going to be groinals. It freaks me out more when I don’t get anxious. But I just know it’s not me. But my mind screams at me that I’m bisexual, even though I don’t want to be with a woman. Then it tells me I’m scared of being straight, even though I am straight. It’s so freaking confusing. I hate OCD so much. Like I just want to be with a man. One thing is knowing we have OCD and another thing is living with it. I think what’s also been triggering for me it’s reading other people’s posts and comparing them to mine. Which is obviously a compulsion.
@yessyess Ye I get u, mine is worse tho I feel like I like the thoughts now and as if it feels good😅 like my brain will flash an image of a hood looking guy sexually and i get “good feelings” from it, then when I imagine it fully to try make sure I don’t like it sometimes I end up getting aroused which makes it worse, but I always panic afterwards but idk anymore
@Anonymous Yeah these are all relatable. It’s like it’s evolving
@Mtikk2019 Yeh bro, I don’t know what to do anymore I jus wanna be normal again
@Anonymous I just had a moment right now and it felt like a combination of groinal and arousal and I hate it. It leaves me so confused. I know groinals and arousal are going to happen with any sexual content. It’s just annoying.
@Anonymous Yeah that’s how I feel
@Anonymous Yes ofcourse , i have said i dont know anymore which is real which is not , sometimes intrusive things are a turn on which makes it harder
@Anonymous As you re talking about me and i always feel as if all of you have ocd and me something else
@Anonymous I can relate to you because i really live the same of what u re going through but with women
@star1232 Yes like right now I’m don’t fine but I just think “just Bcz I’m not getting aroused by gay stuff for now, that doesn’t make me straight because I may still get aroused by it tommorow”
Anyone else with HOCD get thoughts of like "people in denial try to distract themselves" or anything along those lines when just trying to move on from the thoughts. Having a pretty bad episode this morning at least anxiety wise.
Hi so I've been having a recent theme of soocd hocd. At the start I was all panicked and couldn't leave my house. Now all my emotions feel like they have turned off. It feels real now like I'm just in denial. It's bringing up memories from the past of shows I've watched or people I was friends with to try and prove the point or people I thought were pretty. It's saying you've only realised now cause you are comfortable as I had a difficult childhood. I feel no attraction towards men and can't remember if I ever have now even though I know I did. It's saying its all fake. I really am. Starting to believe it's real and I just feel depressed now. Am I going to have to leave my boyfriend who I planned my life with. It feels like life is going by and I'm stuck. I have no energy at all.
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
