aquarius01
- Date posted
- 5y
shiv00shiv00
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah I thought about it too but if we preferred the opposite sex all time and all those false memories or real memories,(I can't even differentiate at this point) are true than why loss of attraction and decreased libido. I can't understand what is happening.
helloworld287helloworld287
- Date posted
- 5y
guys, don’t lose hope. if it makes you this upset then how can it be you? everyday has been excruciating for me but he only thing that gets me through the day is the hope that i will return to myself and have the future with a beautiful husband and kids. it’s the only thing i’ve ever really wanted but i and you all can’t let this rob you of that. there’s hope we just can’t lost sight of it.
IdkIdk
- Date posted
- 5y
I remember in middle school my best friend was bi and I saw her with a girl and I just didn’t think anything of it. I was just like “okay cool” and continued to pay attention to boys. It’s so weird how this is happening to me as well. What scares me if that this whole thing just feels real like I’m actually lesbian and I’m denying it. Idk why, I never had feelings for girls. It was never natural to me. So wth you know. I never had and urge or desire. It’s so dumb. I once said to myself “okay I’m lesbian” and I got so scared that it felt real. And I was like panicking a bit on my own. But then I was back to question everything still. I just can’t accept because it can’t be true. There’s no real evidence but then I still look for some. And think about everything and I panic.
cnvcnv
- Date posted
- 5y
Honestly I couldn’t relate more. For the past 2-3 months I’ve been okay with intrusive thoughts and sensations. But this evening I had yet another groinal response to which I’ve learned to react like a fact, not instantly to jump to conclusions. Nevertheless, I still ruminate about things such as being bisexual my whole life and just now starting to recognize this in myself or that I would prefer vagina over penis. In reality, when I sincerely think of myself with a girl, it’s just a big nono
helloworld287helloworld287
- Date posted
- 5y
i’m just speaking from when i had this the first time but was able to snap out of it. it felt amazing to be comfortable in myself again and to go back to the person i always knew and i was comfortable with. there’s always another solution. don’t lose hope.
starboiklemstarboiklem
- Date posted
- 5y
Listen as someone that had that type of ocd,the ocd is driven by your FEAR of being lesbian, what you should do if you can is tell to yourself that you are a lesbian and accept it which is what you are about to do. That's great you move in the right direction,i also had fear that i may be gay and i said to myself ok you are gay it's over accept it,it was distressing but before i knew it ocd obsessions about being gay vanished. Did i turn gay? offcource no i was never gay i was simply afraid so don't try to tell yourself i am not a lesbian that's a compulsion, instead tell yourself you are a lesbian and accept it
IdkIdk
- Date posted
- 5y
I never really had to question it, I just would crush on boys and that was that you know. It was rare because most boys my ages are just the same and look the same. So I kinda stopped caring about them. But other than that I did like them. Now I feel like my attraction is for girls, like if my sexuality is changing. When that just doesn’t make sense. I know those feelings were true but then I chose to question and makes me think it wasn’t.
ANGEL xANGEL x
- Date posted
- 5y
Take a look at some documentaries about single women. There’s one by Cathy Burkes just come out (if you’re in uk). Maybe if you can’t accept yourself as bi or gay, accept yourself as single throughout life. It’s your choice to be with someone and even if you did like girls it doesn’t mean you have to be with one if that’s something you didn’t want.
Related posts
Ellie.
- Date posted
- 25w
I’m begging ANYONE help I can’t take it anymore!!
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 14w
I need this to end.
I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.
Animallover065
- Date posted
- 10w
How do I get past this last bump with my OCD?
I struggle with HOCD or SOOCD. I’m a married young woman to an amazing husband. I’ve had this since I was 16 but it only came in flair ups. However this round started in October, and it’s been really rough and I would just break down all the time. I went up on my medication and I actually noticed a difference! My thoughts were still very present but I wasn’t really paying attention to them or giving them power. HOWEVER right when I thought I was getting better, my brain started feeling and saying to myself that I just know I am bi but you want to make excuses for it like “oh it’s normal to find someone hot since we as a society have an interpretation of what that looks like” or “I see the girl as myself and that’s what ‘turns’ me on” or “well I mean that girl looks kind of like a man” and it’s it’s making me spiral. I won’t ever come out as Bi as deep in my soul I don’t feel I am. I have always wanted to be with men sexually and romantically and that has not changed but my brain is making me believe I am and I just don’t want to admit it. Please help me, what has helped you?
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