- Username
- aquarius01
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yeah I thought about it too but if we preferred the opposite sex all time and all those false memories or real memories,(I can't even differentiate at this point) are true than why loss of attraction and decreased libido. I can't understand what is happening.
guys, don’t lose hope. if it makes you this upset then how can it be you? everyday has been excruciating for me but he only thing that gets me through the day is the hope that i will return to myself and have the future with a beautiful husband and kids. it’s the only thing i’ve ever really wanted but i and you all can’t let this rob you of that. there’s hope we just can’t lost sight of it.
I remember in middle school my best friend was bi and I saw her with a girl and I just didn’t think anything of it. I was just like “okay cool” and continued to pay attention to boys. It’s so weird how this is happening to me as well. What scares me if that this whole thing just feels real like I’m actually lesbian and I’m denying it. Idk why, I never had feelings for girls. It was never natural to me. So wth you know. I never had and urge or desire. It’s so dumb. I once said to myself “okay I’m lesbian” and I got so scared that it felt real. And I was like panicking a bit on my own. But then I was back to question everything still. I just can’t accept because it can’t be true. There’s no real evidence but then I still look for some. And think about everything and I panic.
Honestly I couldn’t relate more. For the past 2-3 months I’ve been okay with intrusive thoughts and sensations. But this evening I had yet another groinal response to which I’ve learned to react like a fact, not instantly to jump to conclusions. Nevertheless, I still ruminate about things such as being bisexual my whole life and just now starting to recognize this in myself or that I would prefer vagina over penis. In reality, when I sincerely think of myself with a girl, it’s just a big nono
i’m just speaking from when i had this the first time but was able to snap out of it. it felt amazing to be comfortable in myself again and to go back to the person i always knew and i was comfortable with. there’s always another solution. don’t lose hope.
Listen as someone that had that type of ocd,the ocd is driven by your FEAR of being lesbian, what you should do if you can is tell to yourself that you are a lesbian and accept it which is what you are about to do. That's great you move in the right direction,i also had fear that i may be gay and i said to myself ok you are gay it's over accept it,it was distressing but before i knew it ocd obsessions about being gay vanished. Did i turn gay? offcource no i was never gay i was simply afraid so don't try to tell yourself i am not a lesbian that's a compulsion, instead tell yourself you are a lesbian and accept it
I never really had to question it, I just would crush on boys and that was that you know. It was rare because most boys my ages are just the same and look the same. So I kinda stopped caring about them. But other than that I did like them. Now I feel like my attraction is for girls, like if my sexuality is changing. When that just doesn’t make sense. I know those feelings were true but then I chose to question and makes me think it wasn’t.
Take a look at some documentaries about single women. There’s one by Cathy Burkes just come out (if you’re in uk). Maybe if you can’t accept yourself as bi or gay, accept yourself as single throughout life. It’s your choice to be with someone and even if you did like girls it doesn’t mean you have to be with one if that’s something you didn’t want.
I can’t anymore. I really can’t. The what if I am attracted to them. The “why does it have to be a man with a woman” (which by the way- I only now get when women are talking in love songs. And whenever I look at any couple). I am just tired. Tired of feelings like crap. I just want to go to what I was before, but was I like this before? Have I always been like this? I am tired. My anxiety levels are ALWAYS the worse at the morning. I am starting to obsess whether I like this friend now! And it doesn’t matter how much I try to accept it, it doesn’t go away. Like there is still something wrong. I hate this. I hate this so fucking much. At this point. How can I still be straight? I literally get triggered by everything. And how can I just not be gay? I have no reason to think that but it feels so real. It’s like I have no sexuality at all. And this is all that I can think about every single hour of my day. I am even thinking about this in dreams! I even wonder that the fact I am so upset right now is because I am scared of telling people and that they won’t accept me. When I don’t even know who I am myself. I am so done. What even is this? Have I always been like this? I am getting flashbacks and it’s telling me I have.
really struggling here. i actually accepted the uncertainty for once about experimenting and now that doesn’t even bother me anymore i’m just letting myself be open to whatever 🤷🏻♀️ i was also trying to be so perfect with my sexuality and stuff and it really took a toll on me and i kind of let myself go and just said hey i’m not 100% straight but i would like to identify that way and i was fine!!!! but the main things i’m struggling with right now are: 1. because i accepted myself as 100% not straight i feel like i need to label myself as bi 2. i’m struggling with a false attraction 3. i think i’m in denial i feel like a lot of people are going to come at me and say i’m bi because i’m more open and not so “OCD” about being 100% straight anymore and that im open to the idea of experimenting even though i have no idea if i would even like that because i genuinely don’t know 🤷🏻♀️
I need any sort of advice again Idk what to do, I feel so shi*ty rn, even accepting that Im gay isnt helping. Well I posted 2 hours ago. Am I not accepting It properly? Or do I have to give It time and embrace it or whatever? But I dont feel good. Ive completely torn apart the belief I had that I was straight pre ocd bc It gave me so much proof now when I look back to my old life, I feel blank and Its causing me so much anxiety and pain thinking that I was always gay and didnt notice. I feel like I dont have any identity right now or that Im forming a totally new one. Its so so painful. Despite feeling so awful, Im having full body arousal all the time and an urge to act on my thoughts. Ugh how the hell is this possible. I feel miserable when I think that I cant or wont be able to like girls anymore. Do I just have to move on from wanting to feel something for women? Man, before ocd I thought I couldnt get a gf or talk to women bc I just have severely low self esteem issues , but It feels like I was actually gay all this time, I already believe this so why cant I let it go? Is this what denial looks like? Ughhh
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