Confused

Hey,can someone help..is Hocd make me feel very stressful when I want to date a girl or to have something with a girl..I never had something like this I’ve been in a relationship for almost 5 years(we broke up)and now since I have these thoughts I feel extremely stressed when someone asks me something like “is there any girl”and the thoughts are going again..like “how to tell that im gay how to tell that I’m attracted to boys(i don’t want this thoughts) and I’m very stressed about this I don’t want to have this I really want to let this thing go..and I just don’t know what’s happening’s..sorry for the English guys

Sexual Orientation OCD

avacado3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

Hey. These types of thoughts are really hard to deal with- especially because they feel so real. The only thing I can recommend - and that’s helped me- is to go “back” to your original orientation and set boundaries with your thoughts. Often the urge can be to really investigate our sexual orientation when the thoughts feel so real - but this will just make it worse. So what helped me was - when a thought would pop up of “what if I’m into that girl (I’m straight)” I would say “no, I am not comfortable with that. I am strong in my sexuality and I am straight.” Now- this will only work if you tend to try and agree with the thoughts - otherwise it may be reassurance. Also, what helped me was acceptance - saying “you know what? Right now I have a brain that just loves to ruminate about sexual orientation. Whether or not it’s true - I’m going to notice that and continue on with what I was going to do.” Honestly it was really hard for me to sit with the uncertainty of it before going on medication because SOOCD was my biggest theme. It really sucks. I’m sorry that you’re dealing with it. Also another thing is figuring out a core fear behind your theme and tackling that. For example, mine with SOOCD was being afraid of being a bad person because I correlated that with abandonment and feeling ashamed/sad forever - and so when I got thoughts about orientation I would “try to be gay” or try to “accept my true identity” because I thought it would make me a bad person if I didn’t. So for me, it was actually a risk to say, “No, I’m straight. And that might make me a bad person but I have to start setting these boundaries, because trying to make myself be gay is really uncomfortable.” Part of it is honoring yourself and what you’re comfortable with. No one - regardless of orientation - should feel pressured to do something they aren’t comfortable with. So treat it like a person who is trying to gaslight you or convince you you’re something you may be not - and say “no, I’m good”. So investigate a little - what are your motivations for “figuring out” your orientation? What are you trying to avoid? Is it similar to mine, of being a bad person? Anyways hope this helps a bit. Sending you love and strength right now 🤗🤗

Carlos A

Date posted: 1y

Do you speak spanish?

Gordy

Date posted: 1y

@Carlos A No :/

Carlos A

Date posted: 1y

@Gordy I have started to have anxiety about women although ironically I want to be with them, but the reason is because recently I have started to fail sexually and my fear has focused on that I will fail again and therefore I will not be able to have intimacy or live my life again. with girls, although I want to go out and get excited about girls like before, my brain has started to fear it, failing again is a central fear that I have, which makes me anxious and avoid situations where I could become intimate with girls I hate this, you're not alone

Gordy

Date posted: 1y

@Carlos A Yeah,I don’t have such a experience but I want my drive for girls to be back and when I start thinking the anxiety start going maybe it’s the shame from hocd and everything that’s happening to me

Gordy

Date posted: 1y

thank you! appreciate it,i hope someday everything go back to normal :)

geodrimilis

Date posted: 19w

Hocd is literally a clown in my head.

Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.

Sexual Orientation OCD

anonymous1348

Date posted: 15w

hocd

I don’t know what to do anymore, this started nearly a year ago and caused so much stress and panic attacks over the thought of loosing my boyfriend. Now it just feels real and that he always liked girls and suppressed it (but like the boys i always liked in the past were real feelings they had to be and with my boyfriend i love him) but i haven’t got much anxiety now feels like i want the thoughts and that they don’t bother me even tho they used to, this seems to happen every time i get a lil better, idk just feels so true and that’s what i acc want with no stress, just a lil scared.

Sexual Orientation OCD

youllwintheb...

Date posted: 8w

im confused

I don't know for sure if I have HOCD, but it seems like I do, I tried to accept the idea that I'm gay, I felt calm, and then I started to get scared because I didn't feel anxiety anymore, I still feel attracted to my girlfriend, both physically and emotionally, but I feel an attraction to boys, sometimes I panic when I feel attracted and sometimes I don't (but most of the time I do) and I don't want to break up with my girlfriend I want to get back to normal

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