I have suddenly gained the fear of enjoying getting pegged…I definitely on a moral and ethical level do not ever want this to happen but now my brain is telling me I want this when I truly truly don’t. What do I do?
It's kind of like faking it until you make it strategy. But it's important to react differently to these thoughts while sitting with the spike in anxiety. Do some deep breathing exercises while anxiety spikes. You can look up breathing for anxiety they have many methods.
@StoicGuy But it feels like I want them but morally I know I don’t
@StoicGuy How can I tell the difference between genuine desire and this shit
@StoicGuy You there???
@Anonymous It doesn't matter how you feel this is also influenced by OCD. You can still choose to not react to it. A lot of my OCD fears influence my feelings and there's no way to determine if they are my own or from OCD. That's why we treat all these thoughts as just boring and not worth your attention other than recognizing it's an intrusive thought and then repeating what I suggested earlier. This includes feelings as well. Anything that is spiking your anxiety from an obsession.
@Anonymous This is the most effective method for treating OCD but I know it's scary. You just have to trust yourself. My therapist sent me this it's helpful too so I suggest you read it. https://kimberleyquinlan-lmft.com/you-are-not-your-thoughts-ocd/ https://kimberleyquinlan-lmft.com/how-to-let-go-of-intrusive-thoughts-ep-344/
@StoicGuy But how do I get over this lump of not knowing if it’s even an intrusive thought. Not trying to be difficult. I just need help
@Anonymous You can't know and that's the point. But, it's probably intrusive thought if there is anxiety and a desire to do something to get rid of the thought which we call a compulsion.
@Anonymous You're goal is to not care if it's intrusive or not but to teach your brain it's not an important thought and you are uncertain if it's true or not true but okay with not knowing. You can't prove it either way. If you do this eventually your brain will stop creating anxiety around the thought.
@StoicGuy Any more tips for me?
@Anonymous When you do exposure therapy start with easiest fears and work your way up. Set a schedule each day to practice these exposures. It helps to also have someone hold you accountable. This is the main reason I like seeing a therapist, but also to help me recognize what is normal because with OCD sometimes it's difficult to tell.
Usually when this happens to me, I just try to let the uncertainty sit by doing the things I love. Idk if this comment will help but all I can say is, you’re not alone in this feeling
@Ishil So you have felt the same ?
@Anonymous Yea
@Anonymous My soocd was intense a couple years back but then the anxiety just faded away
@Ishil I meant with this certain thought. Shit is killing me. It genuinely feels like I want it
@Ishil ??
@Anonymous I know what you mean but I don’t know what else I can really say. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way
@Anonymous Here's how you improve. You say to yourself " maybe I do enjoy getting pegged or maybe I don't." OCD demands certainty but there's no way to prove this. So try your best to not react to the thoughts other than saying " maybe I do enjoy getting pegged and maybe I don't." I know it's hard but the goal is to get bored with the thoughts because you don't react to them anymore. This will rewire your brain and eventually these thoughts won't bother you anymore.
I don’t know if my hormones are extra wild this month or what, but I have been having so many POCD thoughts lately. It feels like I enjoy them in the moment, and then a few seconds later, I get this tiny flicker of *wait I don’t think I actually want to enjoy that.* It’s scaring me a lot. I was watching adult videos for the first time in about a year, since I had been avoiding them because of my OCD. I know they are not good for anyone, but I felt like i could (ironically it felt like a tiny win that my OCD had calmed down enough). But while watching, I had like 3 separate POCD thoughts. And it felt like I liked them. Like genuinely *liked* them. I don’t know if maybe my body was mixing up physical pleasure and mental pleasure, and then my brain inserted those not okay thoughts into the situation, which got tangled up with the pleasure responses I felt mentally and physically. It is all really confusing. I just feel so scared. I know OCD thoughts are supposed to feel real, and that once you get desensitized to the anxiety, they lose their power. But this feels like I am *actually enjoying* the thoughts, and that makes me want to cry. I’m scared that I actually like these thoughts when I’m really aroused :( Please help.
I really dont know if it is ocd anymore I dont want certain sexual things with my bf anymore that i used to like When i envision it with a girl it is so easy to envision and it feels like i want that , that will give me the satisfaction This feeling is making me really question if i am still into men , desire men sexually Is this still ocd , i really dont know anymore , as it is a feeling it is too real
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
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