Feels like im losing

idk the false attraction feels to powerful, like i can't just let it go or,"observe without judgement" Like i physically cant do that. With false attraction it feels like real physical attraction like it feels super genuine and I hate it. Idk how to describe how I feel but now its like 90 percent of the dudes i see that are attractive dudes. its very hypersensitive thing idk. But it grasp on to that so I cant let it go it sucks. What makes it worse is that i feel no anxiety, no distress and no discomfort it doesnt feel like. Basically it feels like real attraction. and whenever i get to the stage of trying to figuring it out i tend to make my HOCD worse idk im getting weird tingling feelings now and it feels like im gay, this usually happens when im trying to look up stuff, but when this happens it feel so ridiculously real, like I've been convinced of being gay, and now it feels like the thoughts don't give me depression or anxiety or distress now. what sucks is ive been dealing with this for so long, but now it feels genuine and ive become ok with everything, the false attraction, the thoughts and not in the good way.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Zxs2000

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

You’re not alone! I’ve felt the same thing

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

How did you get through it?

Zxs2000

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Honestly ERP really helped. I found creative ways to expose myself to my unwanted feelings of attraction/sexual thoughts. Such as writing a story about them or just letting them be in my body. It was challenging, of course. What time my anxiety around it declined. I still notice it, but it’s more like noise now.

Zxs2000

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Zxs2000 Also, I hope it just helped to know that you’re not the only person that’s had this experience. And know that you are not your thoughts

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

@Zxs2000 I hope so, thank you for responding it helps, it's just I really hope I'm not gay, I don't hate gay people or anything like that I just basically don't want be gay, I want to be with a women I think, when I say that I get doubts like im lying to myself and I hate that

star1232

Date posted: 1y

@Zxs2000 The false attractions is the hardest

star1232

Date posted: 1y

@Zxs2000 Please can you help me ?

Niveko

Date posted: 1y

You’re not losing anything. Good days and bad days as you know. We will not be 100% certain of anything and that’s ok!

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

Yeah it's just hard. I truly hope I'm straight I just want to be with a women like women crazy and nit be attracted to dudes at all, of course like before I notice good looking guys but no feelings if it, more like admire you know? But now it feels like genuine attraction

Anonymous

Date posted: 23w

What the HECK?

what the hell? this entire day ive been trying to do ERP right? allowing the thoughts feelings, sensations be there with very little reaction, saying"oh that's a thought", "that's a feeling" don't care" etc. But it seems to be making it 100x times worse. Like its impossible to just"ignore" it, it feels so freaking real as if this was the truth, the doubts are real, the false attraction feelings and lip sensations are REAL and genuine attraction, feels ego-synotic, its impossible just to ignore or move on from it because I think I'm so hyperfocused on it all so it last the whole day. IDK right now it feels and seems as if I lost? like its not a what if but it feels factual like"I'm naturally gay, I'm gay" and it feels like normal and become ok with that. But I don't want that I don't want to be gay.

Googlyeyes34

Date posted: 22w

False attraction

False attraction has been killing me ive had it for months with the same person. I have a boyfriend so having false attraction makes me feel so guilty. And lately theyve felt so real and ive been so anxious. What if I do like him bla bla. Ive only ever saw him as a brother and we have a good connection and he is one of my good friends but even sometimes when im having a conversation I feel like im cheating. Sometimes I get excited like oh yay he is gonna be here and then I get scared that it’s romantical because I get excited when he is around because he is a funny. Im so scared thats its real attraction because I love my boyfriend I would never do such a thing. And lately my minds done stuff like oh grab his attention stuff like that and it feels like I have done those actions but I dont want to. Sometimes when he is like idk sitting near Im like oh is he looking and my minds like oh do something to empress him bla bla. Recently he was going thought stuff and my boyfriend was there and I was I can give him a hug because I think he needs it but after I thought of it as bad because he is a guy and I had this false attraction what if I did it because I like him bla bla. I am freaking out idk why my mind makes me do compulsions that I have acted on like oh go talk to him and I do its weird urges that I do not want to do. I am scared that it will come true

Anonymous

Date posted: 20w

SOCD false attraction

hey guys, i’m almost fully healed in my socd journey but what’s stopping me is the false atractions. i get them almost 24/7 at this point and to every thing. they feel real and i hate them they make me feel disgusted. they also make me feel like hot and gross but then i see people saying thats what attractions feel like, but i have felt so much attraction to the opposite gender pre all of this and it felt nice and enjoyable not digustinf. i’m also getting false memory trying to show me ‘signal’ from my childhood to prove i’m gay amd i truly don’t know if they’re real. it’s so degrading and at this point i feel like govining up. pelesse if you have any advice or even if your going through the same thing just let me know. ocd is so terrible

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Feels like im losing

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