The show Euphoria triggered off my OCD. It shows a girl going to a sugar daddy in a motel room and he had recordings of all his sugar babies. And another girl had a sex tape come out on pornhub. I tried a sugar daddy site once with a motel room and it was the worst more traumatizing thing. I also fear someone posting a sex tape of me. I had a strong urge to check the internet for myself. I caved and checked my name on porn hub but once I get relief I think of other things to search. It feels so real in my head that the worst case scenarios can happen to me. I get a rush of anxiety and it’s hard to calm down with my phone and google at my fingertips ready to check.

If anyone ever posted you on the internet then that’s revenge porn and illegal (in UK at least) so don’t worry girl. Sugar daddies are nothing to be ashamed of (as long as you’re safe!), so many girls do it.

It’s very unlikely to happen but I understand your fear❤️ the likelihood of it happening is minuscule, the chance of anyone you know seeing it would be minuscule also. Please don’t dwell on the past, what you did is not unusual or disgusting at all!!! Have you seen a therapist? This sounds like something that they could easily help you with, they can also address your obsessive thoughts around it. OCD isn’t like normal shame and regret - it cuts so much deeper and makes you bring your past into the future, thinking that it will one day come back to haunt you. Confessing to future partners won’t help and will make it worse. Your past has nothing to do with the present. ❤️❤️❤️ my thoughts are with you. I also have trouble with leaving the past behind. It’s why I’m seeking therapy. Xx

One of my favourite quotes: “The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it.”

Yes I’ve heard that quote before I love it but I always think my past is an exception to quotes and that no one is as bad as me. I have a controlling mother who I developed a compulsion of confessing to. My depressing and mental health got to a point I basically attacked her after she provoked me verbally like she’s done for my whole life. I feel horrible and even though she hit my head back hard after some time every time she has a ditsy moment or complains of a headache I fear I did something to her. She pulled a stunt that she was going to the hospital but just stayed at a friends I think just to worry me. In Dubai I got isolated after losing my job and my boyfriend made me feel like a housewife. All that isolation messed with my mental health and when she was controlling me back home I just snapped. I scared myself. I can’t hit my mother ? I apologized and we are working on it but my ocd makes me not forget the past no matter what

Same in the US. But just the thought of it happening to me and the embarrassment of it would kill me. And once something is posted you never really get rid of it. The sugar daddy thing was something a friend told me to try when I was in debt but they just treated me like a prostitute and I feel like a whore. I feel the need to obsess this past to every partner I have and I fear I don’t deserve anyone because of it. I read a forum online about a guy asking if it’s ok his girlfriend used to be a sugar baby and other guys commented no they would never date a girl who would do such a thing. Everything around these themes are really triggering for me.

I’m 26 now and ocd started when I was 14. I was in therapy on and off for 10 years. I went to Dubai for a year, fell deeply in love, then the relationship turned emotionally abusive and I found out he is married with two kids. Before I found this out he sent me back home to the states for a bit. The breakup triggered my ocd again. I’m now starting to work again and waiting to get insurance to go back on meds and continue therapy but for now I’m on this app. Thank you for your comment ❤️