Fear of death and suicidal ocd

I deal with fear of death now and in this pain i noticed, suicidal ocd is there too. Christians just say dont be afraid of death cause im heaven everything will be better, you will be with Jesus, and they say dont be afraid of leaving your loved ones cause God will take care of them... When i dealt with suicidal ocd, what made me feel good was that i knew i will not do it cause i love me family and i dont want them to suffer, and i developed more respect for this life so when i hear "In heaven everything will be better" triggers me with fear and anger. Cause when i dealt with suicidal ocd, it gave me thoughts like "do it cause you will go to heaven, you will escape from the pain, you will be with Jesus, He will forgive you"... the last part got triggered in me when i heard that suicide is not an unforgivable sin, so you might go to heaven, so thats like you choose the easy way out and you still go to heaven... then the one thing that helped me was that im not in danger cause i wont do it cause i love my family and they wouldnt be able to go through that(this is still suicidal ocd, just saying i didnt planned or something) and then i read to lose the fear of death, and leaving your family with pain you have to know that God will be there with them, bumm this hit me again, so now this contradicts it, in one they say dont do it cause its painful to your family, and the other side they say dont be afraid of death cause God is with your family... everytime i try to work on my fear of death and suffering, my fear of suicide grows... Im afraid that when i will be in so much pain, i will get hit by these thoughts that in heaven we wont suffer, do it cause you will get there, God will protect your family from pain"... i just cant lose these fear, at this moment im dealing with the fear of suffering and death... fear of pain and everything horrible but the things i find on the net that should help me grows suicidal ocd... this is a reaccuring cycle

taytay86

Date posted: 1y

There’s this woman on YouTube that I listen to and when I watch your videos, she’s really helpful (Chrissie Hodges ) search her up on YouTube. Maybe there’s something there that can help you

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

Sometimes im aware that im afraid of these feelings that these things gives me, and then i get over it but whenever something happens the fear of death always comes up and then sucidal ocd too...

taytay86

Date posted: 1y

I hate that you’re going through this I feel your pain. But the fact that you are talking about it and putting yourself out there. You should be very proud of yourself. I can tell how much you love your family from what you write . OCD sucks that’s a fact !!! we have to remember that OCD loves to attach itself to things we care about so much and it definitely likes to mess with things that we value . I truly believe God doesn’t give us things we can’t handle and maybe it’s your purpose to go through these feelings learn what you can from it so you can help the next person.

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

The problem is that sometimes i feel angry at my parents and feel like they arent the best parents so ocd or idk if its that but then im afraid more that i dont really love them that much. Idk this fear of death really beat me down, i went to many therapy before and we talked about my past but after time i felt like im making a problem over that and its not actually a trauma... but it keeps coming back everytime i hear about a sickness or death of a young person...

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

@PRIV8 I got even angry when i hear go deeply and see the real problem, ocd will make you overthink everything... i dont know if this is a trauma or just ocd

Maybe maybe ...

Date posted: 21w

How are you doing now? I’m a Christian with this theme.

PRIV8

Date posted: 21w

Hi. I still have suicidal ocd but i think i start to get deeper which hopefully means that im closer to recovery

Maybe maybe ...

Date posted: 21w

@PRIV8 Thank you for your response! Are you doing ERP with NOCD? I started late January and it has helped. Things are starting to click more and I’m trying to resist the compulsion to ruminate and/or research for reassurance. I also have fear of depression and sleep ocd where I am scared if I don’t sleep then my harm stuff will be real.

PRIV8

Date posted: 21w

@Anonymous No Im not doing erp, I use Nocd to learn about ocd and sometimes help others with what i learned in my journey

cows12465

Date posted: 24w

suic. ocd tips

so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.

cows12465

Date posted: 24w

suic. ocd advice?

krokish

Date posted: 22w

How to overcome fear of death please ?

For as long as I can remember I had OCD health OCD linked to my fear of death I have a slight pain and I imagine myself dying .. I avoided eating foods due to phobia of allergy I'm scared of dying in my sleep It's difficult because I'm religious I'm scared please how can this fear stop

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Fear of death and suicidal ocd

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