Date posted: 1y

Room and bed contaminated.

My room was my safe space. Free of bad germs. But today lots of things happened and I am currently in bed just sitting with the contamination in my room now. It’s late and my room is separated from the main house. So, in order to clean and wash my hands, I have to go outside and through the back door of my house. Which will be a whole hour long cleaning and washing episode. (I accidentally left the keys to the house inside the home anyways) I had to pick something up from my room floor which is dirty to me and I sobbed cus I felt so defeated. I put on hand sanitizer so much to feel better but I still feel so useless about it. My bed is also contaminated from earlier and I sprayed lysol on it but I know a limit on to stop cus I don’t want my sheets smelling like it too much! I feel so defeated and I’m just sitting with these contamination. Especially the bed one, which hurts my very soul cus my bed is my top safe place. I feel so gross and disgusting. I’m tired and lost I’m debating on just cleaning my bed sheets tomorrow but Imma be so real rn. I don’t feel like it because doing laundry ESPECIALLY my bed sheets is such a hassle for me my god. I already did laundry today and it’s what started these series of contamination in my room to begin with. My goodness. I’ve been telling myself “It’s okay, I’m still cleaner than anyone else even with these contaminated things on me right now.” Comparing my cleanliness with others actually helps me relax a bit. Right now Im thinking of people who pick their stuff off the ground and don’t wash their hands or put on hand sanitizer to feel better about my situation.

Contamination OCD

Estrid

Date posted: 1y

I feel you. Absolutely. But do you know what? This is the moment when you can decide that"enough is enough" - compulsions are just a waste of time and you already know that they are exhausting. Give up! Surrender to the disgust - go to sleep and tell OCD "whatever...it doesn't matter if this bed is contaminated - life with OCD sucks" I am not writing this because I don't get how hard it is. I am writing this because I know. But in my experience, in my darkest moments I have seen that living like this is crazy and I have took the chance to break that ugly pattern.

Cloth

Date posted: 1y

Hey I’m here for you and I’m a real person just to make sure your not thinking Im so ai or something. Im truly here and I have contamination ocd and my room is my safe space as well.

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y

I completely understand. I just went through this last night!

Rachelzech

Date posted: 1y

I completely understand. My room and bed are my safe space as well. When I feel like they are contaminated, it get extremely uncomfortable and can't avoid the cleaning. I end up in long episodes of cleaning also.

Rachelzech

Date posted: 1y

So sorry that you are having to go through this! :(

User11123

Date posted: 1y

I understand as well. I have the exact same thing, and what you are describing is a huge fear of mine. I have been in that situation before of just feeling consumed by the ocd and utterly defeated. But I second what was said above, which is that usually those moments of total defeat are actually the best opportunity to fight back, because you already feel at rock bottom.

Pineapple070

Date posted: 47w

I relate a lot to the bed being a safe space thing. I hope you will feel better soon btw 🫶 i wish i had advice but i struggle with this sort of thing too, and too often to be of any help

oneday.x

Date posted: 24w

Worried about bathroom contamination

Sorry if this is tmi. In advance, I know some germs are fine - I'm all for that, and it definitely does ease some contamination anxiety. But I have lots of anxiety surrounding going to the bathroom, specifically number two. Again I'm so sorry if this is tmi. I went yesterday, and obviously my hands were contaminated because well, they are when you go to the bathroom. But also because I accidentally brushed the back of my hand against myself. When you're done in the bathroom you obviously put underwear back on, and trousers or whatever, but I wash my hands before touching my trousers but not underwear. So I do that bit before I wash my hands, but my hand, the very contaminated part, touched like a bit of my skin at my waist. At the time, I brushed it off, thinking that my trousers will cover that anyway for the time being. But then today, I wore leggings that are kind of small on me and they weren't as high waisted. And then I got in my bed, and had a t-shirt on, and probably touched so many things. I changed my t-shirt, meaning it touched my hair as I took it off. So now I'm paranoid I have poop particles all over me. I'm convinced I need to have a full shower again and wash my hair. I'm okay with having a shower, but I barely have enough energy for that let alone washing my hair too. I don't shower every day, so with my schedule, I'm not due to have one until tonight. I just want to be able to get up, get dressed, and go about my day. But how do I do that when my bed feels contaminated and I feel like I need to change the bedsheets. How do I cope when it feels like poop particles are in my HAIR. And that could totally be possible. I know some germs are fine. But I just don't know what to do.

flowerpetals

Date posted: 9w

spiraling over anxiety

contamination ocd has really been messing with me the last couple of days. usually i only struggle when i can connect something to possibly throwing up, but this time it doesn’t matter. so earlier, i took a shower and i also use a wash cloth to wash my body. after i showered i cleaned up my dirty clothes and towels. then when i came back to grab my phone, there was a soap speck on my phone so without thinking i just wiped it on the back of my crewneck i was wearing. well that then spiraled into me thinking what if the soap was from my dirty wash cloth. i know most of you are probably thinking it’s clean since you use soap to clean ur body. well i clean every inch of my body, including my bottom so that’s where my anxiety is gravitating towards. this sounds so ridiculous saying it out loud, but i just have so much anxiety over it. i tried my hardest not to change but i did. at first i just changed my crewneck, but then i had to change my shorts cause my crewneck touches my shorts. but then i changed my shorts. and now i feel like my shirt is contaminated cause i was wearing it with my other shorts before changing. moral of the story, i just have so much anxiety over it and i feel like i shouldn’t because it’s really not a big deal. and i don’t want to change again because that seems ridiculous to me. plus now i’m connecting the contamination to my bed since i was laying on my bed before i changed. i hate life, this sucks.

Contamination OCD

GuiltyGrapes

Date posted: 7w

I feel so filthy

So Im staying at my uncles house until Saturday or Sunday and I feel like I’m filthy and making his house infected and idk what to do so when I first got here his house had grass I walked through to get to the door so I made sure to wipe my feet at the door and leave my shoes close to the door but I still feel,like I’m infecting his house he gave me and my little brother a room to sleep in and the first think I think of is how I need to wash the sheets when I leave. The first day was hard because I couldn’t shower and I felt so dirty because we had to go on a walk and I was sweating and we also had to water the grass outside and I had the same socks on as I did yesterday and I just felt like they were filthy and I was walking with those socks around the house so now his carpet is filthy and the bed I was laying in is now filthy. And I couldn’t shower because I didn’t have any cleaning supplies to clean it after I was done because I didn’t want to wash in their shower and now clean it afterwards. But I got someone at the store and took a shower and changed clothes and I felt weird about where to put my dirty clothes I hung them on the shower curtain rod but I feel like I just infected the rod. And afterwards I tried to spray off the shower with some Clorox foam cleaner but I feel like I didn’t clean it good and even feel bad about cleaning it because I was afraid the chemicals I tried rinsing off the shower and the bottles I was using in the shower but still feel like it’s infected. And don’t get me started on how I feel about the bags I’m keeping my clean clothes in and also the other bag I’m keeping my dirty clothes the bags are laying on the floor and I feel like my clean clothes are getting dirty from the floor and my dirty clothes are dirtying the floor and the towel I was using I used to dry the bathroom floor and asked where to put my towel he said on the dryer but there was stuff on it so I put it on a box above the dryer but I feel like I just infected everything and also Ik he touched the towel WHST if he gets THISE germs on his kids . Also the covers me and my little brother were using fell on the ground and his kids were playing in them and stuff like that but my little brother said it was fine and still used them but idk and his cover he brought touched my dirty clothes and the floor and he still used them and I just feel kinda ill about that. And today me feeling filthy just multiplied because I can’t SHOWER again today because someone’s toys are in the shower and idk how to get clean becuase we leave soon and idk what to do do I just change clothes? Idk about wipes because I can’t just ask for baby wipes and now I’m walking around with no socks because I only brought one pair and my others ones were put in my dirty clothes bag and now I have to go places no socks just in my flip flops. And last night I went to the restroom because I didn’t want to have an accident in the night because I’m always anxious about that stuff and I went but I feel like I just infected their toilet and I washed my hands after but I went back into bed but my feet touched the bathroom floor so now the bed is hay I feel actually infected and since I’m laying in it I’m infected too. Idk why I woke up so depressed and feel so filthy and guilty idk if it was the pose I was sleeping in or if I think I had an accident idk but we a lot of places to go today and idk what to do I was going to get Lysol at the store today to spray stuff but I don’t think I can get everything and I feel so sick he has kids what if I give them bad germs I can’t live with that

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Room and bed contaminated.

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