POCD PLEASE HELP

@TPD i have a therapist but i’m struggling right now. have u has this experience as well

@userrrr Yes, many times! Everything you’ve said reminds me of me. I still sometimes have flare-ups, but something I tried to do was delay my compulsions. If I felt like I was a pedo, id try and wait a couple hours before trying to make myself feel better (by confessing, by thinking about it, etc.) If you can’t do a couple hours, you can do one, or even less. A therapist will help, but it’ll take time. Make sure it’s specifically an OCD therapist who can help you with ERP!

@TPD thank you :( i just posted a new post. could u look at it. i’m really struggling.

@userrrr I can if you’d like, but I can’t find it. Could you type it out here?

@TPD I was ruminating, even though I shouldn’t be. I remembered another time when I had the weird feeling I can’t explain. It was two years back when I was playing a game on my phone and a weird ad came up for another game. The ad basically had a girl who farted and felt embarrassed. It was a cartoon. I got a similar feeling. I started panicking that I had a fetish for farting or something. I remembered that there was a video I watched on porn in the past where a girl queefed during sex and I was turned on because it was probably embarrassing. Anyways, when I saw that ad It reminded me of this porn video. Since I got the similar weird/adrenaline feeling when seeing videos of kids uncomfortable, I am afraid that it really is sexual.

@userrrr Hey! Let me tell you something: when my POCD was in full swing, there was this girl I was convinced I had a crush on. She was so young, and every time she turned to me I could have sworn I felt, like, arousal. It was disgusting and terrifying and probably the worst experience of my life. But when I chose to not care, and I would force myself to just look at her (in a normal way ofc, like when we were talking; I wasn’t going to be creepy) and allow the fear to sink in. Eventually the feelings just went away. This is what you need to do. You don’t know what you feel because OCD is clouding your thoughts. But the fact that you feel so much fear is proof you’re a good person. Allow the fear in and out. It’s okay!

@TPD like you have mental feelings/emotions that made you think so? not just physical?

@userrrr Both. Not to get too TMI, but I definitely would feel a sense of arousal when I looked at her. Emotionally I felt the same as when I’d look at my crushes. Eventually I simply had to say “okay, I’m a pedophile” and move on, and when the feelings began to fade I then realized how fake they were. The more we pay attention to anything, the stronger it seems. In this case, you’re hyper aware of your feelings around kids and so you feel like a pedophile. Once you give yourself less attention concerning this topic, they’ll start to fade.