Confusing feelings

I’m wearing makeup today because women my age always infantilize me and it’s really annoying so I feel like they will take me more seriously and treat me like a peer if I’m wearing makeup (also it makes me feel good) but I feel like I’m getting excited thinking about random dudes thinking I look good even though I’m in a relationship and I don’t feel the need to look good/dress up for my bf usually… I don’t want to tell him bc I feel like that’s the type of thing he wouldn’t want me to overshare and he doesn’t relate but also I feel like it’s shady that I don’t want to confess…?

Relationship OCD

[Deleted]

Date posted: 1y

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spookycupcake

Date posted: 1y

@Chibiterasu Thank you so much for your response, I’m really glad this is something people can relate to. I told my boyfriend once and he said he couldn’t relate and seemed upset, which triggers me because that could be considered a toxic response so that’s part of where my anxiety is coming from. Usually if I feel this way I will be avoidant by intentionally not trying to look nice so it’s a bit of an exposure wearing makeup

spookycupcake

Date posted: 1y

@spookycupcake Often I overshare upsetting thoughts though so maybe he was upset because it was information that he didn’t want to hear about I guess… idk now I’m starting to get myself into a spiral oops

spookycupcake

Date posted: 1y

@Chibiterasu That’s so true I don’t really think about how different it must be from their perspective. I do really need to cut down on over sharing because I’m sure that gets really hurtful over time too. Thanks for all your support I hope your ocd journey goes well too!

obsessivequeer

Date posted: 1y

I relate to this so hard, I’m a guy so a little different but I love expressing myself through makeup and doing my nails and in the depths of my ROCD I had to stop all of that completely because I thought I was trying to impress other people. It is OCD, 110%, and confessing will only make the cycle worse as it’s a compulsion. I empathise with this so much, please remember you don’t have to justify or have a reason to wear makeup, you just can and there’s nothing wrong with that!

spookycupcake

Date posted: 1y

@obsessivequeer I’m glad you can relate to me, you’re right that it’s not like there has to be a deeper, over-complicated reason to wear it. I guess sitting with the uncertainty of not knowing if there’s a subconscious reason is the way to deal with it

Em2003

Date posted: 22w

I really really need input

Sometimes I catch myself looking at people, specifically men, a little too intently. I feel like I do it to seem prettier or more attractive, but I also think kinda enjoy seeing how they get flustered, I’m not sure. Even though it never goes beyond that, I still feel like I have cheated on my boyfriend, or at the very least, that I am being disrespectful to him. I feel like I’m almost flirting. I don’t know if this is some sort of distortion and or if this is normal. I’m really freaking out to the point where I’m nauseated. Please help. I can’t stop panicking.

anonymous737...

Date posted: 21w

feeling like i did something

I often feel like i did something wrong even tho i am positive i didn’t, my boyfriend and i have been together for like 6 months and i’ve been completely loyal to him the whole time but recently i’ve been feeling the need to confess that i cheated on him even tho i didn’t and there’s absolutely no proof that i did something even close, i don’t talk to other men and if i do my boyfriend has full access to my phone and it’s usually a friend or me asking a simple question but i still feel the need to confess even tho i’ve done nothing wrong🥲 someone please help it’s so confusing

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 21w

Having a panic attack, I could use some insight

any help is really welcomed and appreciated. I tend to hyper fixate on men outside of my relationship, they feel like crushes but I’m like 60% sure they’re meaningless dopamine rushes that happen with people I find interesting, friendship worthy, or physically appealing in some way. My hyperfixation recently shifted to a supervisor, not even an hour after meeting him :/ that’s fine, whatever, I can’t do much about it. I daydream and create like this drama romance in my head. Like good content for a movie or a book. Comparing it to that makes me feel less disloyal, and more understanding of why this might happen (I am a hopeless romantic, I adore stories). I’m home now and I was thinking of wearing a cuter shirt for work tomorrow because I went in an oversized hoodie today. This is a thought I had this morning before even meeting this man btw. But then my brain went to oh yeah I want to look attractive for this hyper fixation. It felt exciting to think that. I felt excited. Then the huge wave of dread hit me. I wanted to look good for another man? For a specific person? I can’t stop panicking I don’t know if this is normal, disloyal, a distortion, or what it is. I’m so confused. I felt happy when I got that thought. Maybe it was a dopamine hit or something I’m Colombian and we’re really big on looking our best 99.9% of the time. Even if it’s just to go to the gas station. I just feel so scared that I felt excitement over this one person. It’s extremely different for my boyfriend’s culture. Almost the opposite. I feel so disloyal and unworthy of my boyfriend. I doubt this was intrusive, it genuinely felt like me and I’ve had thoughts like that in the past. I just feel like a huge monster right now Please help :(

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Confusing feelings

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