Username: Jiji_5473

Date posted: 46w ago

Health OCD over STDs

I went to a traumatic experience 8 years ago, however I never struggled with anything at the time, however last year i started to get intrusive thoughts about STDs, I got tested for hiv hsv2 and 1, went to get a cervix examination at a professional OBGYN everything is clean however I keep thinking I got something now I am obsessing over HPV and it's driving me crazy I don't sleep at night I don't get out of the bed in the day all I do is being afraid to contaminat my husband who I just married, I went to get my nails done and I got cut i freaked out over the STDs I previously tested ,and i want to get tested again, I keep thinking how in few years he will be sick and it's all my fault , and that i ruined his life and he will never forgive me I am taking medication for my anxiety and depression , does anyone have the same thing? Is it normal? Does anyone know how to deal with this?

Username: JP8JP8

Date posted: 46w ago

This was my very first ocd obsession and I can totally relate. The absolute best thing you can do is to find a therapist you can trust who really knows OCD. The compulsions are the issue here. My compulsions for this obsession were to repeatedly get tested, check the internet for symptoms, etc. Try to work on small exposures with a professional and build up from there. Also, talk to your husband about your obsessive thoughts

Username: Jiji_5473Jiji_5473

Date posted: 46w ago

Ohh thank you so much, at a certain point I was wondering if it was just me that was suffering like this, it put me at ease to find this online community, i am currently seeking professional help as you advised, it's a very dark enemy but i will keep on fighting.

Username: M1ndoverMatt3rM1ndoverMatt3r

Date posted: 46w ago

Hi! This was my exact theme a few years ago. At the time i wasn’t even diagnosed with ocd, i thought I just had extreme anxiety. I was consistently looking for answers via google, I went to the doctor twice a week for the exact reasons you are going, I was constantly seeking reassurance too by continuously asking my mom “well I would know wouldn’t i?” It was so exhausting. The worst part about this is that even when we get the results, it’s never good enough! Something that helped me was accepting uncertainty (easier said than done) once I realized how consuming and exhausting this was, it made me realize that this cycle was not worth it! I agree with the comment above, talking to a therapist and starting ERP is extremely helpful in facing fears. You’ve got this!

Username: Jiji_5473Jiji_5473

Date posted: 46w ago

Hi thank you for your feedback, I can totally relate, my brother and my mom have been my rock to lean on during this time,they know my struggles from the get go, it did put me at ease to know someone who I love is standing with me, sometimes I feel guilty for the sacrifices they make to be with me. Again I want to thank you for the reassurance, it put a smile on me and calmed my anxiety

Username: Kaitlyn🌸Kaitlyn🌸

Date posted: 46w ago

Wow, I went through the same thing. I never knew other people experienced this too. I got tested three different times for STDS in the span of two months. Looking back, it kinda makes me chuckle now 🤭 Something traumatic happened to me too and I think once my brain latched onto this idea that the traumatic experience could have lasting effects on my body and happiness, it was really hard to let go of. I’m thankful that even though I didn’t know what OCD was at the time, I had a couple people I was able to talk to- a friend and a family member. They loved me so much and were very gentle and nonjudgmental. I felt a little better after letting someone else hear about the struggles I was having silently.

Username: M1ndoverMatt3rM1ndoverMatt3r

Date posted: 46w ago

@Kaitlyn🌸 Same here!!! I think on top of the OCD, doing the compulsions(continuously going to the doctors) was only comforting because it gave me control. This cycle is debilitating

Username: Kaitlyn🌸Kaitlyn🌸

Date posted: 46w ago

@Anon700 Right, and each time I got the test results back from the doctor, my worries went away for shorter and shorter periods of time

Username: M1ndoverMatt3rM1ndoverMatt3r

Date posted: 46w ago

@Kaitlyn🌸 Yepppp that’s exactly it!! And then seeing a primary care doctor wasn’t good enough then seeing an OBGYN was goood enough and then the googling on top of that was rough

Username: Jiji_5473Jiji_5473

Date posted: 46w ago

@Anon700 Googling for me is getting out of hand lol, if I put this much studies on my education i would have got my degree by now.

Username: nolouienolouie

Date posted: 46w ago

Hey. I was actually diagnosed with a non cancerous HPV 4 years ago. I can’t exactly help you with the obsessive thoughts but I can tell you that as scary and devastating as the diagnosis was, it wasn’t as bad as I expected. It actually went away within a year and has never been spread to any of my partners. Now that I have no symptoms, I’m considered to be hpv-free. It’s actually very common and lots of people carry it without showing symptoms. So if you do have a similar strain to what I had, I can tell you that it is not as detrimental as it seems and won’t last long. It’s not a lifelong virus that will constantly come back like herpes.

Username: nolouienolouie

Date posted: 46w ago

@nolouie Of course I hope you don’t have it! That would be the best case scenario. But I hope my experience can help with the stigma and fear surrounding it. It really isn’t as bad as people make it out to be. And if it is high risk for cancer, that is treatable as well. Wishing the best for you <3

Username: JP8JP8

Date posted: 46w ago

Sending you strength and peace as you battle this difficult enemy. -JP

Username: Jiji_5473Jiji_5473

Date posted: 46w ago

My OCD started with hsv and than moved to other STDs , now my brain keeps telling me what if, and behold I was reading about STDs and my brain found it's new target HPV I never had any symptoms or anything related , went to an obgyn she gave me a cervix exam , she said everything is clean, but I still can't convince myself that i am ok, your comment made me feel that HPV is not something to be scared of , I am extremely grateful to you for sharing your experience.

Username: DahliaStranner29DahliaStrann...

Date posted: 46w ago

Hey there, I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time. Your worries about STDs and the intense guilt around potentially transmitting something to your husband sound exhausting. It's easy to feel isolated in these fears, but you're not alone – so many of us with OCD have similar feelings of worry and responsibility. Something that's been really helpful for me when I'm struggling with my OCD is this AI tool called "UnStuck" (you can check it out here: unstuckmyocd.com/try). I heard about it from my OCD support group and I really wish I'd known about it sooner! You might find it especially useful as it provides personalized, step-by-step support when OCD thoughts and fears become overwhelming. It's basically like having an OCD therapist in your pocket – specifically a therapist who is experienced with obsessions around health and contamination, like you explained in your post. If you have any questions about the app or just feel like chatting more, I'm here for you. Hang in there! 🙂👍

Username: genericusername

Date posted: 5y ago

After being sexually assaulted I developed a fear of sex and as a protection my OCD became obsessed with STDs and I’ve been tested a million times for everything they will test me for (they strongly recommended against testing me for herpes because everyone has it in some form and if you’re not showing symptoms and using protection it is near impossible to pass on so it doesn’t matter until you want to settle down and there is a big stigma) I’ve always come back clean, even for the random shit I googled like mycoplasma that I begged to be to be tested for. I still freak out. And now since I am starting to believe I am ok I don’t want to have sex with someone else Incase they infect me (even though if we use condoms and they get the routine test for HIV, Hep, Syphillis, Gonnorhea , and Chlymidia) the odds are slim. What do I do!!! And I agonize over whether I should disclose I have HPV even though my gyno says no because everyone has it (literally the CDC says that) and it goes away on its own almost always and dude to the lack of education it would do more harm than good. I think I am just finding reasons to avoid intimacy at this point and my OCD is making me intensely fearful about my sexual health in a very painful way to distract me, and I can’t deal. I’d rather just confront my issues.

Username: electrolove

Date posted: 5y ago

So I’ve been doing so well lately. One of my biggest OCD themes besides harm is related to health and particularly STD’s within that. I’ve always had a fear of the STD’s that are incurable...particularly herpes though it’s effect on someone’s life is minimal. I’ve been sexually active recently (always with protection) and have noticed a spot on my penis. It very well could be acne or dermatitis of some kind but my OCD has already convinced me that it’s herpes and that I need to immediately get tested (which both my therapist and primary doctor have said would be feeding into the OCD unless it’s blatantly obvious that I need medical attention.) So I’m not sure what to do, any ideas how to cope with this anxiety, has anyone else had this form of OCD? Thank you in advance....

"Pure" OCD

Username: oopsiedoesit

Date posted: 1y ago

STD OCD

My ocd recently latched onto the idea that I may have herpes, all the signs aren’t there but then again reading about it they don’t have to be. So I’m constantly checking my body, finding a new spot to hyperfixate on and then freaking out. I’ve been in a relationship for almost 3 years so it’s confusing for me to even have it, and have these issues now but they’re so debilitating. I even spiraled a couple weeks ago, and had to have some medical workers look at it, they said it was fine I even had a friend who had herpes look at it (with gloves) and I’m still freaking out and focusing on something else on my skin. I’ve been shaving more lately so I’ve been having razor bumps and now it’s really bothering me. I also heard that blood tests aren’t recommended or accurate So I’m not sure what to do, ERP Wise It just keeps going back to the chance that I do have it and could be spreading it and not knowing.

Contamination OCD

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Health OCD over STDs

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