Is this normal ?

Hey, I just came across your post and wanted to tell you that you‘re not alone! I experience the same kind of symptoms. Once I‘ve experienced these horrifying mental images/thoughts for some time, I got less scared of them. That was OCDs chance to convince me that I am a horrible person and that I actually want to act on the intrusive thoughts. But that is just OCDs way of making us keep doing compulsions, keeping us from recovery!

look up the backdoor spike!

I can hear how distressing and confusing this situation is for you, struggling with harm OCD and feeling numb to these thoughts can be incredibly tough. Your questions and concerns are entirely understandable. I want to reassure you that feeling scared and overwhelmed by these types of intrusive thoughts is an experience many of us in the OCD community have faced. A tool that has helped me and I believe can be beneficial for your situation is an AI OCD therapy tool known as "unstuck" (unstuckmyocd.com/try). I came across it in my OCD support group, and I only wish I'd had it sooner. It's personalized to each user, guiding you through step-by-step support when OCD throws challenges your way, much like an OCD therapist would. Given your specific type of OCD, it can assist you in managing and understanding your harm OCD thoughts better without giving in to compulsions. If you have any questions about using unstuck or simply need someone to talk to, I'm always here to chat! Remember, it's okay to seek help and lean on others. 👍😊