Reconciling with never knowing

How can I come to terms that I might never know my sexual orientation for sure? I keep telling myself that maybe I’m straight, maybe I’m not, doesn’t matter, and it helps me for some time. But then my mind still latches onto needing to figure this out. I just can’t understand how I can be so sure of everything else about myself (or at least feel very sure and it all feels right), but with this topic I feel like I will never know and it makes me so depressed… I also always wonder how others without OCD can be so sure or not care to know 😭 it feels almost disingenuous not to try to figure yourself out

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: ConfusedDrewConfusedDrew

Date posted: 46w ago

hi anxiousmind24 this is a unique experience to me so if you wish to take my words with a grain of salt i understand. I'm all for you figuring out exactly where you stand but it seems like you need some help with that. perhaps experimenting with people and dating could help you dial in your sexual orientation. what i mean by experimenting is reaching out into the LGBTQ+ community and find people who have also been through what your going through and talk with them just ask as many questions as you can and maybe make a friend or two.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 46w ago

OCD is always going to try to figure it out. A technique that helps for me is to accept negative thoughts and feelings (even if they may or may not be true). The next step is to not do compulsions (hard part but IMPORTANT). Thoughts are thoughts, maybe one day you will experiment, maybe you won’t. We have to live with a level of uncertainty or OCD will control our lives.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 46w ago

@Anonymous It’s not about not caring, but more letting go of control.

Username: AnxiousMind24AnxiousMind24

Date posted: 46w ago

@Anonymous Thank you so much!! This is actually very helpful

Username: RileyAdams55RileyAdams55

Date posted: 46w ago

hey there, i hear you and it sounds really tough trying to figure out your sexual orientation amidst all the OCD thoughts. it must feel extra challenging when you're sure of other personal details and not this one. the confusion and depression you're feeling are completely valid. 🧡 by the way, have you heard about this new AI-powered OCD therapy tool called 'unstuck?' i've been there too, feeling bewildered and unclear. my NOCD therapist recommended this free AI tool, unstuck (unstuckmyocd.com/try) and it changed my life. it can be particularly helpful for you because it provides personalized, step-by-step support helping you distinguish between OCD and true unsure feelings, just like an OCD therapist would. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have Qs or just want to talk more! <3

Username: kdito

Date posted: 2y ago

I am not seeking reassurance I just am just looking to vent with people who understand. My homework has been to look into late blooming lesbians and their experiences and I feel like I relate so much. I’ve never had a boyfriend and have had this theme on and off but panic inducing since around 14 (now 27) and SWEAR I had crushes on guys but what if that’s comphet? I never got a boyfriend cause I feared it would confirm I’m a lesbian if I started dating one and didn’t like him. It feels like I relate so much to these late in life lesbians post but isn’t that the point? Or else is would be reassurance? How do I accept the uncertainty when it looks like I’m CERTAINLY a lesbian and if I am, why can’t I accept that? Again I’m not seeking reassurance because I know it will get me nowhere but good god this disorder is annoying (if this is my OCD cause or maybe I’m using OCD as an excuse to not come out as gay?)

Username: Dothewalkofl...

Date posted: 2y ago

Vent of my feelings

Basically. I’m scared that at some point I will feel no anxiety and ‘give in’ and accept it. I have a really hard time believing I have ocd (because I can’t get diagnosed because of my age) sometimes I feel like I do because I remember the days where I was crying on the floor with how real it felt and I DIDNT want it to be real. I worry that I am in denial and I’m just not accept it. Or that it’s suppressed. Or internalised homophobia. Anything really that means it’s all real. I have my moments where I feel normal again but they don’t last long. I wish I knew if it was hocd/ocd but then again I know I’d doubt it if I was told it was. But then again I feel like hearing a professional say ‘you have ocd’ would mean a lot to me. If anyone feels the same or similar I would love to know (btw reassurance very rarely helps me anymore. I just love knowing if I’m not alone and not going crazy) Maybe maybe not doesnt help. I always spiral more with that but I often use ‘I don’t need to know right now’ and that brings me some relief (not sure if it should but it does)

Username: D18

Date posted: 1y ago

Idk

Yk how people always say that you would know since childhood or early teen years what your sexuality was even if you didn’t acknowledge or question it? That truly scares me because now I’m question did I secretly know I was bi or gay and just didn’t pay attention to those moments? Was I attracted to men without realizing it ? Did I just push it aside and focused on woman? I’m so lost because for all my life I’ve considered myself straight but now it feels like I’ve been having short moments in my life that I knew I was something besides that. I truly don’t know if this is ocd convincing me or if I’m just to deep in denial to admit it. I’m so lost and feel so alone.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Reconciling with never knowing

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community