Annoyed

Hello, I want to say that you're not alone, what you just described has been something I feel like I can relate. What has helped me deal with these situations is to understand that most adults (especially parents) are not aware of their emotions or mental health since it was usually brushed under the rug. I definitely got my OCD because of my mom and her side of the family, I have tried to talk to her about it, tried to help her, tried to make her go to therapy, but she doesn't want to acknowledge it. I would get frustrated with her and blame her but I understood that it can be scary and also hard for them to accept the fact that they have it and that they passed it onto us. Understand that this is your journey and not hers, you are the one that needs to focus on managing your OCD and that it is not your fault but now that you are aware of it, it is your responsibility to look after yourself. Parents may always be in denial, but you don't have to mantain the cycle. I come from a culture where family is the most important thing and you can't abandon family and such. I understand it can be hard when you are trying to get away from people that just trigger or hurt you more. What helps me deal with these people that definitely don't understand anything about mental health and they don't want to do the introspection to improve theirs is to just think of them as babies that know no better. They are the way they are because that's all they know how to be. You need to set boundaries (harder said than done, especially with narcissistic people) but know that it is a process and that you and your feelings matter. Your mom since she has OCD probably feels the same way as you and her way of expressing it is controlling you and wanting you to console her. To not make this any longer something that helped me with my guilt tripping mom was telling her things like: "I don't like you telling me these things, it makes me feel like this, if you keep doing it I will go to another room until you can talk to me like an adult." And then leave the situation if possible. If you try to argue you just expose yourself yo the guilt tripping and to the denial since "they can't do no wrong or they tried the best they could" (usually what my mom would say). With being in fake environment, know that sometimes you need to be in those scenarios, once you understand people just project their insecurities onto you and it's not about you but about them you can see it on a different light and not take it personal. If it hits a nerve on you maybe is something you need to ask yourself "why does this bother me so much?" And go from there. If a family member tells you " you should go out and socialize more" think of it as them talking to themselves on what they wish they did more at your age or what they wish they could do more now. People want to tell other people what to do but they don't follow their own advice. The narcissits just want to hear that they know everything and their advice is the best so just acknowledge them with " thank you for the advice" or "will do" and step away. This is just what has worked for me and by no means this may work in all situations, but I hope this insight can help you at least a little. Good luck.

It is EXHAUSTING having to pretend like everything is fine, which is why I haven’t talked to my family for a good long while. Normally, we’re very close. But they would NOT understand what I’m suffering with right now. I take care of people for my job, so I have to pretend everything is fine all day, every day. I literally come home and lay in my bed and dissociate all evening. Nothing gets done around my house and I hate it. It’s so hard and I don’t know how to deal with it either. The only thing I can tell you is that if you are outside your parents’ house, you do not have to interact with them when you don’t feel up to it. That’s why God invented the “Ignore” button. If you still live in your parents’ house, find as much time as you can for yourself by going to a coffee shop or the library or for walks. You are not alone and you got this!!!