Rocd and arguments

I’ve worked on my ocd for years now, and more often than not it’s manageable, but when my ROCD flares up it really bothers me. I’ve been with my partner 7 years everything is fine realistically but after a triggering argument I keep getting intrusive thoughts that my partner is cheating on me. I have no proof because there’s been no real reason to believe it other than minor changes in his behavior (he recently was laid off and is a bit stressed so it’s understandable.) I can tell I’m going through ocd because it’s leading me to feel the need to check, ask reassurance, and think things through constantly. I’m trying to get over it but it makes me worry if it is really happening and I’m not having ocd. Even though my partner has never given me a solid reason to believe they would do that to me. It’s just so hard because I feel like no matter how many times he proves to me he’s not my brain still comes up with a reason it may be true. I also don’t want to be a toxic partner and I have explained to him what is happening. I just can’t seem to get any comfort and my brain continuously has been taking moments that were probably innocent and turning it into potential evidence. Has anyone else dealt with this theme? I feel like I’m going crazy

I don’t know why, but my ROCD is really loud right now. I’m obsessed with the idea of our relationship being “right”. Do I need to work on myself more before I can be in a good relationship? (My relationship is great by the way) Am I really going to commit to this person for the rest of my life? Is he holding me back? These are just a few of the questions I’m obsessed with right now. It’s so tiring and I just want to be able to enjoy my relationship for what it is. I’m feeling so sad and down. I’m trying not to search for reassurance but it’s also scary because I think “is this my OCD or is this real and true”. Any advice on how to help this. NOCD doesn’t take my insurance so I can’t go to therapy currently.

Can anyone share advice on how you differentiate between actual relationship issues and ocd issues? And also how to stay connected with your partner during a hard time? I get really frustrated with my partner (disclaimer: he’s a great guy and his heart is in the right place) but he’s not aching the way I want him to (I recognize how that sounds haha) one of the things is that he doesn’t show much expression or excitement when talking to me so it’s really hard for me to feel loved through that. I’ve expressed that time and time again (which could be a compulsion) and when he tries to improve it just feels disingenuous, furthering my frustration. It could just be that nothing feels good enough for me, or that I’m just fed up but then idk if I should make myself hang out with him as an exposure, or just be alone. I fear that I’m not going to get my point across efficiently, or that it’s just the way he is and it’s something I’ll have to put up with. When do I decide to take action and when do I sit back and deal with it as ocd?because for me it feels like there’s no way of knowing! i don’t want to sacrifice my needs but I try to resist a lot of what I’m thinking due to the possibility of it being a compulsion. On the other hand however, I could just be silencing myself and in turn being quiet and he is ok with that but I like a lot of communication as it makes me feel connected. This could be a real issue that persists, or it could be an ocd spiral…idk and I hate that because I just don’t know how to move based off that info so Im open to any advice!