Username: Ms. P

Date posted: 45w ago

Exposures for ROCD

I’m looking for anyone who is working in ROCD or has recovered from this form of OCD. Does anyone feel like personal accountability is a difficult exposure? My core fear in ROCD is that I am in the wrong relationship and will stay in the wrong relationship even if all signs point to 🚩🚩🚩 My relationship with my current partner is not perfect and we do have disagreements and arguments. I have already been reassured by family and friends and therapist about these situations being normal level conflicts (no abuse happening here). I have been feeling so frustrated about my ROCD and the doubt and hyperfixation on the negatives in my relationship. My attempted solution to this is to be as accountable for my side of our issues as I can, owning my OCD symptoms, and owning any of my bad behavior, without then turning and calling him out on his behavior. This has been AGONIZING. I become so fearful that I am being taken advantage of, that he will learn that he never had to be accountable, and that in the end I will be a pathetic victim who chose her own terrible fate. I feel like me taking this accountability is a pretty intense exposure and wondered if anyone has experienced the same thing?

Relationship OCD

Username: MindiliniMindilini

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 45w ago

Wow... I wish I had some actionable ERP exposure that I could share with you but I don't. I'm just astonished though, because most of the time our OCD themes feel like they're very unique and real. And to hear you say that you struggle with this self-doubt about choosing the wrong relationship and staying in it way longer than you should, and this fear of not being able to essentially protect or care for yourself by seeing the signs... That was mind-blowing to me that someone else felt the way I do. Thank you for sharing, because I think a lot of times we feel alone and like our situation is unique and therefore OCD makes it seem real, but I definitely have this issue and I thought I was the only one until now so thank you. You're not alone. I realize now this is OCD.

Username: ocdsufferer101ocdsufferer101

Date posted: 45w ago

@Mindilini Me too! I feel like sometimes things that aren’t real red flags in my relationship are made into MASSIVE red flags by my ocd, I used to think this was just me being overprotective of my feelings but I now know this is due to ocd

Username: Ms. PMs. P

Date posted: 45w ago

@ocdsufferer101 I feel you on this. My therapist doesn’t often give reassurance, but she has told me that my relationship has unhealthy pieces, like all relationships, but it is nothing waving a red flag. However, my OCD basically telling me I’m in a trauma-bind and will never see things clearly. What do you do to work on your OCD?

Username: Ms. PMs. P

Date posted: 45w ago

@Mindilini Thank you ♥️ your tag says OCD conquer, how did you get better?

Username: ocdsufferer101ocdsufferer101

Date posted: 45w ago

@Ms. P Exactly! Every relationship will have things to work on, that’s just life😅 Honestly I try to expose myself to triggers once every so often and endure anxiety as much as I can before it gets too much, it tends to get better afterwards ☺️

Username: NanaShelly79NanaShelly79

Date posted: 45w ago

hey, i'm really sorry to hear you're going through this. i'm not a therapist, but i'm here to listen and i totally get how tough ocd can be. 🤗 omg i almost forgot, have you heard about unstuck? it's this new ai-powered therapy tool specifically for ocd made by therapists. my therapist recommended it to me and it's been super helpful in getting me out of those thought spirals. i think it could help you too, just search unstuck app for ocd.

Username: MindiliniMindilini

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 45w ago

Just so everyone knows, this is a bot. These posts about "Unstuck" have been all over NOCD. I've notified the member advocates and NOCD is aware and working on it.

Username: vaIentinevaIentine

Date posted: 27w ago

@Mindilini is this app dangerous to install?? i installed it and even did the free trial thing :( i’m really scared

Username: ocdsufferer101ocdsufferer101

Date posted: 45w ago

The exposure you’re doing is amazing though and I feel this is what I have to do, after all there is two sides of the story and I feel maybe I am accountable too even though my brain convinces me I’m always in the right! Thank you so much for posting this

Username: Ms. PMs. P

Date posted: 45w ago

@ocdsufferer101 Thank you saying that. I was doing other exposures like listening to songs about toxic relationships, and writing scripts about possible negative outcomes in my relationship, but this accountability feels like it’s really hitting the core fear of my OCD. It’s tricky because my OCD says things like, “you didn’t do anything wrong here, you’ve been gaslit.” And sitting with that thought is intense.

Username: ocdsufferer101ocdsufferer101

Date posted: 45w ago

@Ms. P This!!!!! I constantly tell myself I’m being gaslit but again it’s just the ocd talking, I’m going to try that !

Username: Ms. PMs. P

Date posted: 45w ago

@ocdsufferer101 Honestly we relate so much! I’m so grateful that you commented on this. Feel free to message me when you need some support.

Username: Sake

Date posted: 4y ago

How to tell the difference between normal relationship doubts and ROCD? Im going on a rant now: I have avoided relationships for the most part over the last 10 years. as soon as I get past the 2nd or 3rd date I feel like if I dont know that they have the potential to be “the one” then I worry constantly about wasting my life and theirs. I had 2 relationships that lasted about 3 months but the whole time, I just wanted to get out even though they were both good guys. In November, I had my first panic attack and soon discovered what I was dealing with (and still managing it) is SO-OCD. Then I learned of ROCD and wondered if that is something I have struggled with since my teens. As soon as I get into a relationship I have these strong urges to break it off for minor stupid things. Things that honestly make no sense. Like a weird freckle or chin (real examples). Not to mention I am afraid of getting intimate because Im super paranoid of getting pregnant... I started talking to a guy during quarantine and it’s slowly turning into more than friends. I really like him and enjoy spending time with him but I am constantly worried. Being aware of ROCD has helped me be mindful of the present but all my old habits are trying to come back full force and I find myself trying to avoid him. Ive read as much as I can find on ROCD and I can check off almost all the obessions and compulsions that are associated with ROCD. But it doesnt affect me the same way SO-OCD did. Like I felt like I couldnt breathe, and I could barely be in public. I wanted to escape so bad all the time. With this ROCD (if thats what it really is) I dont feel that panic, I just feel worried, stuck, and distracted. Not to mention, if I can manage to stay mindful, how on earth do you even tell someone you just started seeing that you have ocd, let alone so-ocd and rocd. It just adds to me wanting to avoid him. Also, how do you go from being dateless and single for 2 years to starting a relationship in the middle of a quarantine while you’re learning that you have OCD.

Username: Sunshine&flo...

Date posted: 1y ago

ERP exercises for Partner focused OCD?

Anyone have any suggestions for ERP exercises for Partner focused ROCD?

Relationship OCD

Username: Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Unsure what to do.

Here we go again. That’s all it feels like. Just one big circle. I was doing much better but it seems like it’s this endless rollercoaster. There was a time in my life where OCD didn’t exist. I used to be care free and (still have plenty of issues trying to resolve with therapy don’t get me wrong) but it wasn’t like this. I have met this person who is truly the love of my life. The support, love, and giving kind of relationship we have is unlike anything I’ve ever known or even thought truly existed… and I’m ruining it. Not only does this man congratulate my small wins with me with my contamination OCD but also tries to understand as much as he can just so he can support and be there for me better. Somehow, someway I have now developed another form or encountered a for of ROCD. I’m acknowledging another form of something I do desperately need to conquer snd remove from my life. I feel so defeated and depressed to the point I really don’t see the point anymore. I have a great man who deserves none of this headache to begin with.. this is my battle not his and yet he has taken on thsi and willingly no less. I have always been confident. There should be no reason for insecurities in myself or us. But they are here, right now. Could it be a normal fix? Can it be something worked on.. if so, what does the ERP look like? I want to get better for me… but for him and my family as well. I’m tired of being this way, this person who has so many issues that never end, never stop. I try really hard to control my emotions and thoughts and it’s exhausting. I’m just tired and done with my own self and I either need advice and hope or I just don’t know what I’ll be able to handle anymore

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Exposures for ROCD

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