- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
How debilating is it?
- Date posted
- 6y
@hello love I am a mother of an Pure O daughter. And I 100 feel your pain. I came in this app to better try to learn and be more empathic to her. It’s been super helpful. But the daily struggle is really Caregivers need support too! It’s hard to see the suffering of an OcD person so it’s easy to become dismissive of their pain. I wish there weee support groups for spouses and parents so we could learn how to be more helpful but also push them out of bad habits.
- Date posted
- 6y
Hey @hello love. I used to be like your husband where I'd had therapy and had all the resources to help me but I still avoided doing anything or would minimally try. I did this because I didnt feel ready to confront my ocd properly. The fear of change scared me more than OCD itself. But, what helped me actually start doing something was my family found my list of OCD compulsion that I'd written before for my therapist and they encouraged me to pick a compulsion everyday and I'd have to not do some of the compulsion or try none of it. It was super stressful but then I'd go talk to my family as soon as I'd done it to explain how I felt and they would try and reassure me. Really made my OCD better. Also, I had positive affirmations and words of encouragement stuck around the house where my compulsions would start and I'd have to read them.
- Date posted
- 6y
I can imagine it being emotional and stressful seeing your husband do the rituals. Maybe try going to see his therapist with him? And show that you're going to be his support when he falters. Things can take time but it's obvious you care a lot about him or you wouldn't have come on here and hes lucky to have such encouragement from you so thats lovely. I hope that helps. Dont forget if you speak to the therapist as well they will be able to give you a better understanding of what hes going through, offer you support through this and you might both find ways to encourage him to do ERP. Best of luck
- Date posted
- 6y
To answer multiple questions at once: -I have gone to the therapist with him before which did seem to help. -He ranges from periods were it seems like he is mostly ok to periods where he just melts down Thank you all for your responses!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
(long read ahead, sorry lol) I’ve struggled with ocd for as far back as I can remember. I find that it gets worse with stress, and recently I’ve really been struggling with the contamination aspect of my ocd. I’m worried about it becoming unmanageable and negatively affecting my relationship with my partner. I’ve been living with my boyfriend since January (got kicked out of my house a week after I turned 18, it’s for the better though my house is toxic as hell) and I love living with him, but him and his family aren’t as concerned with cleaning as I am used to. My boyfriend and I have been together going on 2 years and there’s been many times throughout our relationship that his struggle with depression severely impacted his ability to keep up with cleaning his room. This is something I completely understand because I’ve struggled with it too so i’ve often helped him clean, and since i’ve moved in he’s done so much better at keeping up with cleaning (especially because he knows about my issues with clutter, mess, germs, etc.) He is really good at being accommodating towards my needs (not overly so, i’m aware that recovering includes accepting being uncomfortable), but it’s so hard for me to differentiate between what is the normal standard for cleanliness and hygiene and what’s excessive and unhealthy. I get so stressed out every single day over the thought of how dirty everything is. He has 3 cats that mainly stay in his room (he has a catio attached to his window/side of the house) and dogs which stay on the opposite side of the house and backyard, so there is fur everywhere constantly (i’m also allergic to cats but it’s not severe). I can’t stop thinking about how they are getting germs from their litter box all over everything. They also used to piss under his bed and in his closet when his room used to be a mess and it’s soaked into the floor so no matter what it stinks. It’s so hard to bring myself to walk around the house without slippers because my feet will get visibly dirty and my socks would get covered in hair. I always think about how my boyfriend sometimes walks on the rugs in the bathroom in shoes and all the germs that spreads. There’s so many more things but this is already getting long and I am shaking just thinking about how unclean everything is. I want to deep clean the entire house myself so I can get it to where It’s not like psychological torture everyday and it’s easier to maintain but I have been so busy I don’t have the time. I am worried about my boyfriend thinking I don’t like living with him or that I think that’s he’s dirty but i don’t. We have had several conversations about this and he’s reassured me that he knows none of my obsessive thoughts are personal but I still feel so bad about it. I would like to get therapy to help work through this but currently that is not an option for me. I know things will get better once I get through the main things in my life that are causing a lot of stress and therefore making my ocd flair up, but I need advice on what to do in the mean time. I keep having moments where all I can do is shake and cry and clean and I feel bad for my poor boyfriend who can only sit next to me and try to comfort me or help me clean. I also don’t want to make him worried that nothing he does is enough for me (i’ve also already talked to him about this and told him about how I can never even be clean enough for myself and that I don’t think he’s dirty). There’s been many times where I want to tell him to do things that I think might be my own unhealthy compulsions (ex. not wearing shoes in the house or in our room, not getting into bed with socks on, making sure to completely dry off before getting out the shower, put makeup and jewelry back where they belong right after using them, etc.) but i can’t tell if they’re reasonable or not and i try to not tell him unless it’s something that severely distresses me. I’m aware that everything is going to have germs no matter what and have been using NER’s to help manage my thought spirals/rumination. I know that I shouldn’t keep doing compulsions because it just offers temporary relief and makes the problem worse because nothing will ever be enough. I just feeling so overwhelmed and hopeless and exhausted and want some feedback.
- Date posted
- 21w
Someone I care about has OCD, he often gets worried to answer certain things in fear that he might be wrong or gets anxious in times when certain conversations such as dealing with negative emotions come into play and in the event something goes wrong even though we deal with the issue it takes him a long time to put himself back together. Often times worried about his image, hyper focused on being a good person etc etc. I believe I’m doing my best but as someone who doesn’t struggle with OCD I cant fully comprehend him and i wish to learn more about it, not just read it off of google. Any advice would be appreciate it. -Thank you!
- Date posted
- 19w
Does anyone have any tips that helped them? Mine is due to a specific person and I work with them so it’s been really difficult. I’ve started ERP which has been reaaalllllly challenging and I would love to hear from anyone else that has gone through any type of contamination ocd and how they have overcome or are fighting their way through it. Thank you!l
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond