I know the way to overcome avoidance is in action but gosh. I just can't do anything. I'll try to collect in my wins and make at least one phone call today. It's important - dentist first? I'm incredibly fearful of the dentist and intensely don't wish to go. I also need to establish a new relationship with a doctor. Maybe I'll f* around and make 2 phone calls today. Not asking for reassurance but please wish me luck
It was so much worse in my adolescents, but I still get very frightening worries about doing things. Random things. Like I can't watch The Outsider because my OCD worry button decided to go off and make me worry that if I watch it my loved one will die.
I definitely relate to that. I posted this and immediately called them. I have an appointment next week. It's so silly that I work myself into a state like that. I've also had that happen with content, it's been nice to be able to watch certain things again that I used to avoid intensely. I'm relieved that I can still move forward.
And thanks. I just did an experiment to see if my thoughts and actions would kill random people and it actually didn't work. It sounds so crazy to say but after a few days of obsessing over a celebrity death, my friend encouraged us to experiment with it haha. It's been amazing to have the support of my friends and loved ones, but no amount of verbal rumination and worry would do the thing I needed to do... and that's why I turned here haha. 🫣😄
In 30 minutes I made both appointments 😭 I've been putting this off for three weeks lol. Maybe this was half ADHD and half OCD.
I’d love some encouragement from anyone who is willing to send it my way. I’m having a hard time really leaning into uncertainty and my exposures. I know I need to take a leap if I’m going to get better, but I just don’t want to! I struggle to stop myself from ritualizing and I put off doing my exposure tasks too. Any support would be greatly welcomed. Thanks everyone.
I'm supposed to have a doctor's appointment for a physical this week and I've known about it for weeks but now I'm having overwhelming anxiety and panic about contamination themes. I know that rescheduling or canceling will only make the panic worse and make the OCD stronger but I just started ERP and I seriously don't know if I can cope with this level of exposure/anxiety at this point. It will also make my family upset if I don't go. I'm trying to just sit with the discomfort and not look for reassurance but it's so overwhelming and everything makes it worse. I hate having OCD and I hate these feelings so much.
I’m really pushing myself to do exposures on my own and though I know logically it’s the right thing to do it’s so incredibly hard. I’ve overcome so many triggers and I know this is possible but it’s taking everything in me not to give into compulsions. Every second ocd is trying to grab me and lead me down the rabbit hole and it’s an exhausting fight. Just looking for words of encouragement ❤️
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