I know a lot of guidance tells us to live for and move toward our values, no matter how scary OCD is. But does anyone else struggle with this when they are really having a hard time? Like it almost feels like you can’t do it in the moment because the thoughts and feelings are so overwhelming? I have harm ocd and it certainly is difficult. Mainly because it feels like I can’t (which is probably my ocd tricking me).
I 100% feel you. Harm ocd is by far the most outrageous subtype I’ve dealt with other than maybe real event ocd. It makes you feel insane, like you’re secretly evil, like you’re wanting the thoughts and lemme tell you it will get better. I won’t make you feel better but I can tell you how to handle it - agree with the thoughts. I know it sounds horrible and it can be tiring but when a harmful thought comes up just “yep that’s exactly what I want” or “okay thanks ocd” after a few days you’ll realize harmful thoughts don’t make you anxious anymore and that alone is scary because it’s like “I’m not anxious what if I want it now?!” No. That is ocd trying to throw you off course just hit it back with “it might be what I want who knows who cares” we have free will to make decisions ourselves. Feelings and thoughts lie - live to your values regardless of what your feelings and head says
@Anonymous I can’t explain enough how helpful this is. I think the hardest part is the harm theme makes me doubt my values, if that makes sense.
@Anonymous I can’t explain enough how helpful this is. I think the hardest part is the harm theme makes me doubt my values, if that makes sense.
@Catlove9 Of course it makes sense / I’m here for you like people are for me
@Anonymous I guess in the regard of it making me doubt my values, I just need to disregard that and treat it as my ocd and keep pressing on?
@Catlove9 Yes, it’s gonna be hard - I still struggle now - but now I don’t feel anxiety as harshly and my brain doesn’t race from thought to thought
@Anonymous Thank you so much for taking the time.
I haven't been super anxious about the thoughts lately and it just concerns me. Like I just feel kinda numb to them?? I was anxious for a whole week crying everyday multiple times a day and today I just feel like I'm just there? I feel like I'm a bad person. Like even walking I feel like I'm bad. And like I've been ruminating every single day for hours this past week to "find evidence" to whether I'm a good or evil person if you know what I mean? It feels like I accepted the fact that I'm a bad person and that I was just lying about OCD and was in denial or something. It feels like I can't tell which are intrusive and which are my own thoughts anymore and it's making me feel sad.. I don't want them to be true, i just wanna be normal :( would this even still be considered ocd?
@Aphid123 Yes it is - that’s why I feel like having a positive outlook even in dire times can help with that negative feeling! Of course I’m not a therapist - don’t let your values intertwine with what your brain is saying
@Aphid123 This exact thing happens to me. Just as I woke up this morning it felt like I was having the thoughts on purpose and it completely freaks me out because it feels even more real if that makes sense. I struggle with the thought of faking my OCD or using it as an excuse. Makes me very upset.
@Catlove9 YES I was about to say that it feels like I'm lying! Everytime I explain what ocd is I think "oh look at you, lying and trying to convince others" I'm not even lying, why would I? 😭 I literally tend to just answer the thoughts with "no I'm not even lying, stop" this is terrible :/
@Aphid123 Try more like answering it with “yeah you’re right lol I’m definitely lying” then pivoting back to reality
@Aphid123 Agree with Anonymous! It’s so hard but we keep giving these thoughts too much power.
I am struggling with this as well! I worry that what if one day I forget what my values are and I actually follow through with the thought. It’s the most frustrating thing to know you can just stop thinking about it at anytime but your brain won’t let you.
@kk93 Ugh same! I go through this and then it sometimes feels like my values are changing. 😔
My Harm OCD is out of control. I’m trying so hard to keep living my life, but it’s scaring me even more. It’s starting to feel more real. It’s feeling like I’m right on the edge of acting on my thoughts and that I actually want to do it. It feels like this is never going to go away and I’m now this person who is going to harm someone. I’m at work because I’m supposed to keep living my life and not do compulsions. But not doing them is terrifying me. I feel like a complete monster and I don’t know what to do.
I think this is the hardest theme I’ve dealt with, it feels so real & the thoughts/sensations are so strong. The thought that really stumps me is when my OCD tells me that I don’t want to live anymore & that I don’t like the life that I have & it’s fueled by a ton of anxiety. If you’ve went through this & got through it please tell me how, I feel like I have to react to my thoughts or something bad will happen.
I have a really hard time with harm ocd. It makes me believe that I would do in the near future surely something bad… And I don’t know what to do to make me feel better. I started to sit with uncertainty and accept the presence of my thoughts but it feels like I accept the content. I’m desperate, I think that I’ll suffer all my life with that. I know that there are ups and downs but those downs are really scary, demotivating, unhopeful.
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