I read this on reddít

This might be triggering for some cause it can be misunderstood. I read that for some harm can be a compulsion, so it means that they actually act on the thoughts as a compulsion, and this got me scared cause i used to have urges. I know urges is tipical ocd symptom, yet i still question my thoughts. I have to accept that some will just say "go to a hospital" or "call 911", i'll just say that i ignore you... My thoughts used to be so agressive like it told me to do it, i didnt had just what if thoughts, my ocd told me to act on the thoughts, and this is where i question is this normal? Cause on the internet when you hear about people having thoughts about doing something, and those thoughts becomes commands, usually the person is ill or something is wrong with him and he needs serious help, and i always compare myself to those cause my ocd gave me commands. So this is the first thing that i wanted to talk about, im so afraid of harm becoming a compulsion. Second thing i want to talk about is kinda the same, i read this too on reddit and i could relate to this. The person wrote that his compulsions becomes really scary, he gets thoughts about harming his dog and as a compulsion to check that he will not do,he puts his hands over his dog neck but he feels so bad after. And this reminded me that i had the same mindset, when ocd told me to cut myself, i intentionally went to grab a knife and i even putted in to my skin to prove that i will not do anything and to lose the fear. But eventually ocd latched to this and then it told me to actually cut myself and because i used this method then it was i holding myself back to not act on it cause ocd said cut yourself cause then you will not be afraid of it. Its really disturbing and sick... im so afraid that these are signs that i would actually act on these as a compulsion, to not be afraid of it which is stupid, but im so afraid of this, is hard to ignore... I keep having in my mind that i actually couldve harmed myself i just had luck but im actually in danger of making it a compulsion and act on the thought. Did you had thoughts like this agressive?

Harm OCD

OCDVIC

Date posted: 1y

I would recommend staying away from reddit bc if you hear new things that trigger your ocd then you will start overthinking. I recommend watching some youtube that informs you about ocd instead of going on to reddit because there can easly be some false information on there.

PRIV8

Date posted: 1y

But i heard from others too that harm can be a compulsion too. Even my therapist said before. And the second one actually helped me understand why i did those things and i wasnt alone doing it

OCDVIC

Date posted: 1y

https://youtube.com/@ocdandanxiety?si=mmd_YuICpXGaKaG1

_IDK_0023

Date posted: 23w

I don’t know if you’ll read this because you posted this a year ago, but struggling with this exact thing. I’m scared that harming would be a compulsion for me. Like my intrusive thoughts are now trying to GIVE me reasons to harm. Logically I know they’re irrational & stupid but the thought creeps & is distressing. The last thing I want is to cause harm to anything or anyone.

tayanominous

Date posted: 23w

Did I act on the thoughts?

I worry people might get the wrong idea when I share this but I must post it because I’m scared so basically this is gonna sound weird but I have always sorta been a violent kid but in a normal way if that makes sense like if someone tris over I would find the ridiculously funny but what kinda confuses me is when loved ones hurt themselves I laugh it’s not like I’m putting it on idk I just randomly laugh and i find funny please don’t think I’m a bad person because I’m really not and I’m scared abt this but that’s not the point of this story so I will get to the pint now so basically I was walking upstairs and I hit my head on the door and my mum laughed at me and I said “its not funny I hit my head” and she said something else that made me angry I can’t remember and then I started to charge at her like I was gonna hit her or something and it scared me cuz I wanted to push her or something ( not harmful just like as a back off kinda thing) which I know it’s horrible writing it out but then while I had that urge to push it her or something I also got a groinal so then OCD was like ”you were gonna s3xualy attack just then and you liked it” and now I’m to scared to go near her just in case it happens again cuz I’ve been in a spiral for days now, again please don’t tell me I’m a bad person cuz I already feel like that cuz writing it out it sounds worse then it is irl im sorry if this was triggering and please reply and tell me your thoughts on this.

Thejollygian...

Date posted: 22w

My Harm OCD

Basically long story short, ive been dealing with anxiety for a very long time all my life I'm 23 now but about 5 months ago my anxiety started to get really and I overthink a ton and get worried to easily. So my chest hurt for a while from stress at work made me worry why it was hurting, then me worrying and thinking worse case scenarios was making it worse. So i and to go to the doctor and got diagnosed properly with anxiety and I have a med now that I take when I really need it called hydroxyzine but I also have another med that is Zoloft that I have been taking for a about a month now, to help with my intrusive thoughts I have sometimes i only get them when im stressed or when I'm by myself or when i just overthink in general, my loneliness depression is one of the reasons for my anxiety because I wish I had someone as in partner wise to love me and for me to love them. But anyways I've had intrusive thoughts about possibly hurting myself and family, or even my dog. Ive never acted on any of my thoughts in the past and I don't want to but I have had anxiety attacks when everything feels to real and really scares me. I constantly have the thought of am I crazy or am I becoming crazy and stuff and I've done a lot of looking stuff in the past about symptoms but most of them are identical to what anxiety is so it's hard to tell the difference. It's been probably 2 weeks since we last talked. I've been mostly doing good. But I just was wondering if had a little Harm OCD intrusive thought happen yesterday that targeted my Aunt at work she was complaining all day and when it got closer to the end of the shifts for us. I was already annoyed with a situation that happened earlier in the work day. But she came into my department and then went back over to hers and I said it out loud to myself and said you better get back over there or I'll, I tried to say something else because the word I was going to say was kill you. Obviously I don't but that's what my intrusive thought wanted me to say. And made me think thats why i got to hurt her to stop her complaing So the rest of the night I was saying she is safe I am safe I'm control, like this is just anxiety lying to you, it's just because I'm tired and got annoyed earlier. I can't tell if it was working or not because I was so tired and just wanted to go home. But after work her and I spent time together at our house she was on the one couch and I was on the other with a bunch of our dogs in the living room. I tried to keep my mind off of what happened, and I was fighting some stomach achyness already. But I obviously don't want to hurt her and we had conversations just fine. But I went to my other aunt house at night after work to go to bed because she has to watch my aunts dogs because my other aunt and family is on vacation. But anyways I'm trying to get over that word Kill, that word is what is scarring me and sticking. Like my anxiety is lying saying kill, or basically do harm. I don't want to do anything bad but I'm trying to shake that feeling and stickiness of that word. I'm just so scared and worried.

Aphid123

Date posted: 22w

Is this even OCD?

Hey so a couple months ago (7-8) I remember being upset at my family member. Like she was talking too much while I was annoyed and remember wanting her to be quiet. I got an intrusive thought like a really bad image of doing something really bad to her, and my hand twitched to the side a little? Like it felt like I was about to?! And I remembered thinking "if I do this, I'll get in trouble". I got up and left to the bathroom and felt horrified! I was thinking "did I want to act out? Did the only reason I didn't act out was because of getting in trouble? If there was no consequences, would have I done it?! Does this mean this whole time I've been using OCD as an excuse?" I remember I couldn't sleep for 3 nights because of how bad the anxiety was, I was crying and I felt very guilty like I should turn myself in to a mental hospital. I couldn't eat for many days or be near her because of that thought and twitch I had! I'm worried it was an impulse or I actually wanted to hurt her. And even to this day I still ruminanate about this. Like last night I couldn't sleep well I kept waking up every two hours and asking myself "am I capable?" I couldn't eat last night. Sometimes I move on from it like I forget that happened but when I remember, I feel distressed about it! I don't want to be an evil person or do bad actions towards anyone! I'm even scared to be angry because of this because I'm scared I have more "chance" of acting out due to anger. Like was it an impulse and I held back? Is this even OCD? Please help, I'm really scared!

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